O2L's Butterfly||Adopted By O2L

Sunrise to Sunset

Authots Note: Okay i am so sorry for not upadting school and just overall life have been getting me lately i will try to update more and thanks for 1K reads :) 

Kates P.O.V

I woke up the next morning at around 6:30 wow i'm up early  the sun had not begun to come out yet so i thought i would bring it back to my times at the orphanage when i would watch the sun come up in the morning. I got up and my leg hurt pretty bad but nothing i couldnt stand. I walked over, very slowly might i add, to my window. I opened it and carefully climed out. I sat down and just looked out at the horizion. "Wow i'm a piece of shit" i mummbled. Thoughts were racing my mind on how i have ruined these boys lives they now have a suicidal daughter and girlfriend that is going to tear them apart, even if she dosent mean to.  I closed my eyes and a lump developed in my throat, i was choking back tears. I re opened my eyes to see the sun just peaking out over the horizon. It was beautiful the moon on one side the sun rising on the other and still a faint touch of stars on the dark side. Everything around me was so beautiful, the house, the boys, the atmosphere, Everything.. but me. At this point the tears were developing again i let them fall this time. 

It was now 7 and all these "what if's...." were running through my head. What if Jc thinks i'm to much and breaks up with me. What if sam and Jc can never be friends again because of me? What if dad thinks i'm tearing the boys apart and starts to abuse me like the other foster parent. Why am i such a piece of shit, god i hate myslef. The sun continued to rise when suddenly my chest tightened and i could feel the panic and anxiety attacks kicking in. Great i did this to myself over all the stressing. The only way i know how to make it go away is my cutting. My breathing became restricted and i started crying even harder. I  layed back and pulled my lefs to my chest which hurt my leg really bad. After about 5 minutes of this i sat back up still the same. "I cant to do this anymore" I said in a resticted mummble. I got of the roof and went back into my room. I started walking to the bathroom being as quiet as i could. I got into the bathroom and went pulled out a little blade. As soon as it touched my fingers I could feel my breathing slightly return, still a strugle though. I closed my eyes and put it to my wrist, i applied slight pressure and pulled. I opened my eyes to see a crimson red blood line on my wrist. It stung but my breathing returned and my chest felt normal. I put one more underneath it and then ran my wrist under some cold water. This made it sting even more but i had to clean it up. I put a bandaid over it and pulled down my sleeve. I took 2 diet pills and walked out of the bathroom. By now it was 8 and the boys still were not up.

I walked down stairs and into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and and pulled out stuff for pancakes. I started making the mix, to me it looked like enough to feed an army but i knew the boys would eat it all. I poured the mix and started flipping pancakes, by the time i finished it was 8:45. I decided to go wake up the boys so they could eat. I went to rickys room first i walked over to the bed "dad breakfast is ready out in the kitchen" I kissed his forehead while he opened his eyes. "Okay be out in a second" he said. Next i went into kians room. "Kian pancakes out in the kitchen get up" I said while running my finger through his hair. "Okay lovely be out in a second. Next was connor "Pancakes come one wakey wakey" I ran my hand over his cheek. "Is there coffee?" He asked "of course, just for you" "oh your the best kate, i'll be out one second." Trevor was next "Trevy wake up pancakes" "not now so tired" "come on you better go or you wont get any" "fine". Next was sams room i walked in and pulled the covers off him "breakfast wake up" i said a little pised over last nights events i said and walked out. Lastly was Jc's room. I walked in and sat down on the bed near him "Jc come on wakey wakey, I made pancakes for you guys" I leaned in and kissed his cheek. He grabbed my waist and pulled me into the bed a bit more I was startled and jumped almost out but them i rembered, kate he has already seen you in your fricken underwear and bra i think you can lay next to him for a minute. I layed down and turned towards him. His eyes fluttered open "Good Morning Lovely" he said in a sexy morning voice. I leaned in and kissed his lips he immedialty kissed back, I pulled away a few seconds later. "Come on get up go eat some breakfat before the other boys eat it all. He slowly got up and out of the covers. He didnt have his shirt on dam he looked good. I walked out of the room and he followed.