Dark to Baby: A Changjin Story

Chapter 35

Either his lie was convincing enough, or his mother was tired of punishing him because nothing came of his fumbled speech when he returned home. She reacted normally to Kkami's fictitious escapade, scooping up the dog and fretting over his muddy paws and bits of grass in his fur. She sounded genuine when she told Hyunjin she was glad he found the dog and that everyone was safe. There was no suspicion in her words at all.

The situation baffled Hyunjin a bit. He wasn't complaining, but her oblivious attitude sent a seed of concern to the pit of his stomach. That's why his homework got done before dinner, he helped with the dishes, and retired to his room early. He wasn't taking any chances on a potential sneak attack.

The night was sleepless. Hyunjin couldn't figure out if it was the minimal dinner he had eaten or the anticipation of an emotional day, but the pitch black room felt more like a suffocating blanket than a peaceful sanctuary of forgotten problems.

The creaking of Hyunjin's bed kept Kkami running into the room to comfort his owner, and at irregular intervals, the light of a phone would pierce the darkness followed by a sigh and forceful roll to the side of the bed. Blind eyes stared at the ceiling trying not to think about reality, but soon it became impossible to not drift into fantasies about the one boy he knew was still awake.

The thoughts that clouded Hyunjin's head reached the point where he would have texted Changbin had he actually taken the initiative to get his number. It was only recently that he felt he could even ask. The mutual sharing of information had increased tenfold this past week. Granted, Felix was still the main topic of discussion and no specifics were ever shared about Changbin's life, but Hyunjin would take anything he could get right now.

It was a strange phenomenon when the sounds of life revived down the hall. Hyunjin couldn't quite recall what had happened in his daydream state. It all ran together in a distressing mix of concern and uncertainty.

Hyunjin dragged himself to a seated position, collapsing forward into Kkami's fur. He groaned and rubbed his face back and forth on the animal's back. An unimpressed Kkami wiggled out from under Hyunjin and plopped down a few feet away. Hyunjin whined, but was too lazy to form the words to articulate his disapproval. Instead he buried his face into the blanket as a substitute for the small dog.

Hyunjin wished he could turn off his brain as there was so much happening today that he didn't want to acknowledge. One last bus ride, one last walk to class, one last normal lunch, a weird Felix-less ride home, no reason to sneak out of the house, no texting Felix about how he was settling into Chan's, no talking to Changbin for any reason.

Would he ever have a reason to talk to Changbin again? If everything worked out with Felix, Changbin could go back in his hole. Hyunjin didn't realize how much he relied on Felix's presence. Felix was the glue that held everything together.

Hyunjin rolled onto his side, head towards the end of his bed, feet curled under his pillow. Was he ready for more change? Couldn't life slow down for a moment?

As much as he didn't want to get out of bed, his obligation to Felix got him to the closet and out of his pajamas. The surrounding air forced a shiver to overtake his body and he quickly put his uniform on before grabbing the blanket from his bed and creating a cape.

His sluggish steps carried him to the bathroom where he managed to splash water all over his shirt while washing his face and get more toothpaste on his chin than his teeth. His bloodshot eyes gave away how his night went, and his slumped shoulders looked just as lifeless as the dull skin on his cheeks. He imitated Changbin and patted down his hair, but all the strands just bounced back into their original positions. He wet a comb and combed backwards. The effect was rather 1950s, but the hairs were straight and that's all he asked for.