Dark to Baby: A Changjin Story

Chapter 37

Math class slowed Hyunjin's day down more than anything. They had moved on to trigonometry, and Hyunjin determined once and for all that letters did not belong in math.

Despite all the diagrams and fancy memory tools, his hands kept running through his hair. It got to the point where Minho asked him via sticky note if he was doing math or giving the girls a show. Hyunjin didn't respond.

He had four problems left by the time the bell rang, and he knew there was no way he could get them done on his own. If only Felix would be around, but of course today he was moving away from their street. There was nothing to be done about that. Hyunjin sighed and packed up his notebook, receiving a sympathetic pat on the back from Minho as he exited the classroom.

When he trudged onto the bus, Changbin was already there, earbuds in, staring out the window like he had lost his will to live. Hyunjin didn't blame him. Their ball of innocence was gone for the foreseeable future, and while Changbin had other things to worry about, it was strange to not have Felix there.

Hyunjin shrugged his backpack off and sat beside the boy with blank eyes. Changbin scooted closer without otherwise acknowledging Hyunjin's presence, and Hyunjin weakly leaned his head on Changbin's shoulder.

Their thighs touched throughout the ride, Changbin hugging his backpack close to his chest, and Hyunjin distracting himself with a fictional book about vampires. Hyunjin could hear a bit of the bass emanating from Changbin's earbuds, but no other sounds could be heard from their seat beyond the occasional turning of a page. It was a strange phenomenon to be stuck in their own little bubble of time and space. The bubbles around them being filled with shouting or raucous laughter, or perhaps a whispered secret. So different from theirs.

As he reread the same paragraph ten times, Hyunjin tried to convince himself that nothing was wrong. Because logically, it was true. If anything, things were looking up. Felix was on his way to justice and safety. His first hearing was scheduled, he was now living in a place that would be able to fully provide for him, and his medical expenses were now the responsibility of the court. That meant that Changbin was no longer responsible for them and could lower the number of shifts he was working and instead focus on Minsoo and his schoolwork.

Hyunjin was also free of stress and worry in this particular area of his life. He would still wonder how Felix was doing, but now he had less reason to sneak out at night, so hopefully that meant he would ride out his grounding and not accumulate more punishments.

Sure, Chan now had another brother to look after for the duration of the trial, but from Hyunjin's view, Chan could easily handle it. Felix would definitely enjoy all the attention and cookies.

Hyunjin was almost jealous. He could only imagine getting to live in Chan's house, ride in Chan's car everyday, and eat Chan's mother's cooking. It would be a dream to be a part of a functional family again.

Hyunjin smiled sadly at his book. Nope. Nothing was wrong.

Changbin broke him from his thoughts with an elbow to the side. Hyunjin slid out of the seat and let him past. They shared similar smiles and head nods to show silent understanding before Changbin exited the bus.

Giving up on reading, Hyunjin shut his book and sat in Changbin's spot to gaze out the window. The greens and blues, with the occasional burst of orange from a colorful tree, whizzed by in a blur, and Hyunjin just nodded along, so far in his brain space that there was no registering what was happening in reality. They even managed to pass Felix's trailer without him giving it so much as a brief flicker of recognition, and when he emerged from the bus, it was in a zombie-like state, hands gripping tightly to the straps of his backpack, his head hung low, only paying attention to the next step.

In a way, his evening was the same as the bus ride, quiet and out of focus. As per usual, he was relegated to the living room. His books scattered across the coffee table and his pencil hanging limply from his thumb and forefinger. If it weren't for those four math problems, he could have relaxed, but his mother had insisted that he finish them and then bring them to her to check. It took an hour, but he did finish them in the midst of all the daydreaming and exhaustion he felt.

World literature was another story. Thankfully, with the right angle and intermittent turning of pages, his mother couldn't tell he wasn't reading, but rather resting his eyes and giving in to his thoughts.

It didn't work quite so well when he got to rehearsing his chorus music though. He didn't really need to practice, the boring weekend did wonders for his memory, but their concert was next Tuesday and his sense of responsibility won over. However, he was too drained to do much more than glance through the music as he reclined on the couch, his restless night catching up to him.

Before he knew it, sleep had overtaken him, music covering his face, and Kkami warming his feet. His mother didn't even bother waking him up for dinner, but rather guided him to bed around eight thirty without so much as a word.

When he woke up, everything felt normal. He was rested, his mother was in the kitchen making breakfast, Taehyuk was sitting on the couch with his coffee and magazine, and his homework was neatly piled on the corner of the coffee table. The only abnormality was his uniform that was still on from the night before. Hyunjin cringed from the smell coming from his shirt and turned to head back to his room.

He switched his white button down for an identical one he took from his closet along with his black slacks and black socks. After sniffing the fabric again to confirm he did indeed smell clean, he went back out for breakfast, glancing once at the mirror to ensure his collar was down and his hair was not an utter mess.

Once again, breakfast was extravagant. Blueberries inside the muffins and cinnamon sprinkled on top, with extra blueberries lining the plate. Hyunjin wasn't sure what his mother was trying to prove. She began cooking again once Taehyuk started coming over, and now that he was living here, the meals were only getting more intricate. A few of them had been things they would only eat on special occasions. Hyunjin wasn't sure if she would be able to keep it up, but he wasn't complaining.

It did make him a bit worried though that bad news was about to come. Something she was avoiding telling him and thus she had to appease him beforehand to make sure he didn't get angry. It was a common trend. Make him comfortable and calm before dropping whatever bomb necessary. Right now, Hyunjin hoped her cooking was just a way to impress her new romantic adventure rather than butter him up.

At that thought, he quickly finished the muffins and threw on his coat. He waved goodbye to the adults in the room, earning a kiss on the head from his mother and walked outside to wait for the bus.

Honestly, the beginning of the bus ride was relaxing like always, but when Hyunjin saw Changbin standing beside the road as they neared his stop, a twinge of sadness erupted in his chest.

It was the first time Hyunjin had seen him calm and alert at this time of morning. His jacket was fully on, his backpack zipped and in its proper place on his back, his black beanie covered his hair, but the small amount that poked out was dry and shiny, and there was a luster to his skin that Hyunjin chalked up to adequate sleep for once. Hyunjin was proud for unknown reasons.

Changbin boarded the bus and grinned in Hyunjin's direction. Hyunjin smiled fondly back, trying to not let a stray sentimental tear slip.

Changbin was happy.

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Happy Birthday to our Innie!