Isnt life a bitch

Johnny rejects Beth

He sat looking at me shocked. "Can you say something johnny you haven't said anything in almost an hour?" he blinked a few times before looking away from me "I... you left because you wanted to protect me?" he was still caught up on that? is that all he was thinking? I'm not sure if I think that's slightly selfish or not "yes Johnny I wanted to protect you from being hurt.. you did something for me and I didn't want you to ever be hurt by me, but I know I did hurt you even if it wasn't from leaving I know I made you mad by being there I mean we got so far and it was like a slap in the face when you ditched me and pushed me aside john" he looked back up at me as soon as I said his name. 

I know he was hurting I could read it all over his face and the way he hunched over the table it was more than just trying to stay hidden I did the only thing I could think to do. I stood up and slide in beside him and carefully wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulders "I'm sorry John" his body relaxed but didn't move "Beth... let go we cant do this shit again... I cant" my heart broke as I took my arms back and stood up "Bye John" I grabbed my handbag and walked away.

I was the hardest longest walk of my life in the rain, it felt like drops of cement rather than water, it was having flashbacks of running through the rain crying the first night I met him god damn it! what was I going to do! it was clear that I wasn't over him every time I felt him my heart would jump into my throat and I couldn't breathe but when I would get reminded about him being taken by someone I used to care so much about and now they are happy together with a child... "Beth! wait!" I could hear someone yelling over the heavy wind and rain. glancing over at the car pulled up beside me it was Johnny's car "Get in!" his voice came through the cracked window. Climbing into the warm car "ill take you home alright" I didn't know the tone in his voice but it wasn't happy...