Elara Beck "You give in to him too easy Beck." Agnes sighed as we walked through the halls of the university. "Because I love him." "But still, he gets away with shit that you shouldn't let him get away with!" She said and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "And what am I supposed to do huh? Leave? Agnes he's the father of my child and I live with him!" I said getting frustrated. She had brought up Shawn and I's argument more than I would have liked even after two weeks. She thought I should leave and I thought she was crazy. "Beck you can still leave." "You don't get it. I don't want to leave. I love the family we have. We have issues, everyone has issues. But at the end of the day I love him and I will do anything I can to keep us all together." "You're fighting something that's not there." "Agnes give it a rest or I'll say something that I'll regret." I said trying to keep a level head but not succeeding. "Beck I'm sorry I just-" "No. Enough has been said. Can we just drop it now?" I sighed and gave her another eye roll. "Do you seriously love him?" "Dude." "Answer it." "Yes! With everything I have in me I love him. I want to be with him. I want to have this life with him." I sighed. "Do you think you'll get married?" "I want to. I can't imagine myself being with anyone else." "If he proposed would you say yes?" "Yeah I would. Why all the questions?" I said as we got to the edge of campus. "I just want you to be sure this is what you want. I want you to be ok." She said and took my hand in hers. "I am ok. It was just a rough patch. We're ok now I promise." "Can you believe all of this? We graduate this year, you're getting married-" "Woah. No. I'm not. Agnes do you know something?" I pushed but she immediately shook her head. "No I swear. You know me. I wouldn't be able to hold it in." She said and I squinted before hearing a whistle from behind us.
I turned and saw Shawn stood a few meters away, Frances toddling beside him. He had a large smile on his face and my heart fluttered. I watched Frances take wobbly steps and bent down to her level. She giggled and fell into my arms. "Hello baby." I smiled and kissed over her face. I stood back up and was quickly engulfed into Shawn's arms. "Hello beautiful." "We need to talk later." I whispered as I pulled away. I watched as his face fell but I quickly shook my head before pecking his lips. "It's not bad." I giggled and he relaxed. "Hi Agnes." Shawn said and she nodded back at him and smiled at me before walking in the opposite direction. I frowned but shook it off, it was probably just awkward between them.
Shawn and I walked home hand in hand, Frances holding tight to Shawn's other hand. As soon as we got in Shawn put Frances on the sofa with her plate of carrot and celery sticks and the two of us stood in the kitchen. "Tea?" I asked and he quickly shook his head. "What was it you wanted to talk about?" He said and I shrugged. "Erm, nothing?" Feeling embarrassed that I even had the idea in my head. "There is something. Whatever it is you can tell me." He said taking me into his arms. "Ok, well," I started as he took a step back, "Shawn, are you going to ask me to marry you?" I said quickly before biting my lip. His eyes went wide and I noticed his cheeks start to take on a pink colour. He opened his mouth as if to say something but no words came out. "Oh god. Shawn I'm sorry! I just-" "No no it's ok. I-I just, where is this coming from?" He asked taking my hands in his. "Agnes kept mentioning us getting married and I just thought maybe youd talked to her?" I said and he quickly shook his head. "Elara I love you. I love this family and I do intend on getting married. Just not now." He sighed and I nodded, trying to ignore the hint of disappointment inside me.
A part of me had hoped he was going to ask me to marry him. I wanted this life forever. Yet I knew that it would be rushing into something neither of us were ready for. No matter how badly I wanted it.
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