His Fling, My Forever

•Chapter 12•

Elara Beck
The more time that went on the more Mum came round to the idea that I was having a baby. She, along with Agnes, was helping me make a baby schedule of what I needed to think about at what stage.
Agnes was more excited than anyone. She had even offered to help me out and she said that if I had to move out of my room she would go with me. They had both been so supportive ever since I had decided to keep the baby, for which I was grateful.
The university said I could carry on as normal but I would be eligible for extra help and funding.
But no matter how much support I had, I was still terrified.
I was terrified that I had to tell Shawn at some point. He deserved to know. I had tried to call his number multiple time's but it just went dead every time I tried. I had emailed his team. I had sent him messages on social media, all to no avail. He was impossible to get a hold of.
I had told Finn the same week I had told mum, and he hadn't spoken to me since and that was over a week ago. It hurt me because I thought he would have stuck by me. Then again it wasn't his responsibility to do so.

I was sat in my room reading up on my textbooks, trying to stay ahead, when a small knock sounded on the door. I placed my pen down and walked over to the door, slowly opening it to find a worried looking Finn stood there in a pair of black jeans and a blue shirt.
"Can we go on a walk?" He asked and I smiled, grabbing my phone and keys before closing the door behind me.
We walked in silence to a park. Finn's hands were shoved in his pockets the whole time. It made me worried at how silent he was being. Usually he was extremely talkative.
We reached a park bench and both sat down together. Finn sighed deeply before speaking.
"I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you much this week. I guess it just surprised me a bit." He said and I nodded. "But i wanted to talk to you about it now."
"Ok. What's on your mind?"

"I know I've only known you for just over a month but, I was thinking. If you ever needed anyone, you know, to support you and be there for you and to be a father figure to the baby I'd do it. For you." He said and I didn't speak straight away.
"I-I'm not sure I understand."
"Basically what I'm saying is, I'll be a stand in father for as long as it takes for Shawn to come around ok?" He said and I smiled.
"Thats so kind of you. But, Shawn doesn't even know yet. So I'm not sure how long it would take to tell him never mind for him to come around to the baby." I sighed.
"Doesn't matter. I'm still here."
"And I appreciate that. But I want you to know that the baby isn't your responsibility ok? Don't feel obliged to do anything." I explained and Finn took one of my hands in his.
"Shawn has to step up. Pop star or not. He's the father. But, I'm not going to let you struggle alone through this ok? I'm here." He said, my eyes staring to fill up with tears.
"Thank you." I whispered before Finn gently placed a kiss to my lips.
Finn wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him, his warmth and his arms around me, made me feel safe. He was probably the nicest boy I'd met. He was nineteen and had nothing to do with the baby, yet he was offering to step up for me. It was the kindest gesture he could have done for me.

As Finn and I walked home hand in hand, I felt better about the whole situation. I realised that I didn't need to be scared. I had all the support I could possibly want. But still, Shawn needed to know and one way or another, he would find out. Either by me telling him, or by some reporter who happened to recognise me from stories about Shawn and I's fling and realised I was pregnant.
I hoped it would be the former situation. It would be better for him that way.
As soon as we got back to our building I invited Finn into my room, where we watched TV and ate snacks to our hearts content.
"I'm going to try ringing him again." I said, pulling out my phone and clicking on Shawns contact.
It rang.
And rang.
And kept ringing.
But this time I decided to leave a voicemail, so he could hear how urgently I needed to talk to him.

"Shawn it's Elara Beck. I don't know why you're ignoring my calls and messages but I desperately need to talk to you. It couldn't be more urgent Shawn. Please, please call me back, or whenever you're next in Toronto, contact me so we can meet up and talk. Again, it's so so urgent that I speak to you preferably sooner rather than later."

If that didn't get the message across to him, I didn't know what else it would take.