•Chapter 20•

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Shawn Mendes
I had to wrap it round my head that I was now a father. Of course it wasn't what I had planned, but now I had Frances I loved her and I wouldn't have it any other way. Though I was happy, I couldn't help but feel a slight weight on my chest. I wouldn't feel right going on tour or on holiday or partying. Not now. I had to be sensible and I had to be here for Frances and for Elara if ever she needed me. I wouldn't abandon her to do it on her own.
Yet she wasn't on her own.
She had Finn.
But Finn wasn't Frances' father. I was. Already he had a head start in gaining a bond with my daughter, but that wouldn't be the case now. Though she was only a baby, it was so important for me that I was there and spent time with her for her to get used to me. Not him.

I was excited to pick up Elara and Frances. So excited that I set off an hour earlier than I said I would, just to get to them earlier. I couldn't stop my hand from tapping the steering wheel excitedly and my knee kept moving up and down. I had planned out the whole weekend last night and had set up my spare room as a room for Frances and Elara to stay in. I had spent the whole day buying little toys for her, a pram and a cot, along with all the necessities.
I had seen plenty of photographers and I knew that I would be all over social media in the morning but I didn't care. It was all for Frances.

As I got to the university I parked up the car and ran up to the room that Elara told me she was in. I knocked on the door and an exhausted Elara opened the door. Her hair barely in her hairband, dressed in a baggy T-shirt and no trousers.
"What." She groaned and I couldn't help but smile.
"I know I'm an hour early. I just couldn't wait to see her." I smiled and she slapped a hand against her forehead.
"Oh shit we're at yours this weekend. I'm sorry it slipped my mind. Come in. I'm really not ready." She sighed and opened the door further.
I looked around but couldn't see Frances.
"Erm. Wheres the baby?" I said and Elara clambered onto the bed and slightly moved a pillow to reveal a sleeping Frances.
"I know she's not meant to be in the bed with me while I sleep but she wouldn't stop crying." Elara said and I nodded.
"Go get in the shower and relax a moment. I'll watch her." I smiled and put my hand on her shoulder.
"If she wakes up and makes a fuss just shout me ok?" She said and walked off to the bathroom.

I slid myself gently onto the bed and just stared at Frances who remained fast asleep. She didn't move an inch or make a fuss until the sound of the shower stopped and the room was silent. She stretched her arms and legs and as she opened her eyes, the crying began.
Quickly, I scooped her up into my arms and rose to my feet, rocking her back and forth, I shushed her gently and ran my little finger lightly from her forehead to her nose over and over again. I was surprised at how much that seemed to soothe her as her crying came to a stop and was replaced my small gurgles.
"What happened?" Elara said as she burst in from the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
"Everything's fine." I smiled, moving Frances so she was against my chest.
Just as I finished the sentence, I heard a small burp followed by the feeling of liquid on my back. I turned my back to Elara who sniggered.
"Oops" she said and I sighed holding the now smiling baby infront of me.
"Great. Thank you." I said, and I couldn't help but smile as my eyes flickered from Frances to Elara. Looking at Elara, who had a wide smile on her face, my breath hitched slightly at how beautiful I thought she looked even when exhausted.

"Oh. Erm. I have this." She said moving past me and digging around in her draw. She pulled out a large black hoodie and I gladly took it from her.
"Thank you." I smiled.
"Well it is yours." She said and I looked at the hoodie again and realised it was mine.
"You kept it?"
"Of course I did. I wasn't going to throw it away. I guess I could have sold it but." She grinned and I shook my head, taking off the shirt I had on. I heard her clear her throat as she turned away and I shook my head with a small smile.
I couldn't ignore that feeling rising in my chest. It took me back to the week we had spent together so long ago and made me realise how happy I had been with her. It made me think that there was hope that we could be a family together.
A proper family.
Just us three.

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