His Fling, My Forever

•Chapter 49•

Elara Beck
Two months down, five to go.

Frances and I were coping, but that was all.
Coping.
We spoke to Shawn on the phone everyday, and all of us were excited as we would be flying out to Paris in a few days to see him.
Frances kept a tally of the days counting down to when she would see her daddy again.
It pained both of us to see her upset, and Shawn was constantly worried that she would think that he abandoned her.
I told Frances where Shawn was and what he was doing and she seemed to understand so I didn't share the same worry for him.

We didn't have many issues.
Not until the party happened.

I was sat watching The Avengers when all of a sudden my phone started going crazy.
I didn't pay much attention to it as it always happened around this time as people started to tag me in videos of Shawn's performances.
But this time it was different.
It was a video i was being tagged in but not a video of him singing.
With a shaking hand i opened the video to see Shawn in a club, with his face extremely close to the face of pretty brunette girl.
He had his arm around her shoulders as she held his waist.
The video cut off and came back on with them dancing close together and screaming the lyrics to a song.
The video cut again and came on with another clip of her pressing kisses all over kiss face, and him laughing about it.
I zoomed in slightly and watched as some of his band mates looked on.
Some with disapproving looks but some laughing.

My stomach fell along with my heart.
He didn't kiss her by the looks of things.
But he didn't push her off or tell her to stop either.
I sniffed back the tears and just hoped that it wasn't as bad as it looked.

I had everything packed and ready to go for Paris.
But now this had come out, would i look like an idiot for going to him?
That's what I was angry about.
We had come out with our engagement while he was away and now this?
It made me look stupid.

What do I do?
I curled up on the sofa and weighed up my options as the tears started to fall.
Did he still want to get married?
Do I go to Paris to see him?
Do I call him and see what's happening?

I had to go to Paris.
Frances was desperate to go and see him and I wasn't going to take that away from her.

I decided I would wait for him to call me and tell me about it.
I didn't want to go in screaming when I most likely didn't know the full story.
But damn did I want to shout at him for making me look stupid.

I stared at my engagement ring and thought of how he proposed.
He was so sweet, so caring, he was my fiancé.
The tears kept falling as I thought about what could have been going on in his head to make him think that being that close to another woman wouldn't affect me.
Did he think I would never see it?
All these questions kept running through my head and I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.

"Mamma?"
I sat up and wiped my tears away.
As I turned to Frances I frowned.
She was pale and her eyes were slightly dark.
"Fran? You ok?" I said and scurried over to her.
As I got in front of her and felt her forehead I gasped.
She was boiling hot.
"Frances what's wrong baby?"
"I-I not feeling well." She said and her eyes started to well with tears.
She had never been sick before and I scrambled through my brain to work out what to do, relying on my motherly instincts to kick in and tell me what the fuck to do.
"What's not feeling good?" I said and picked her up.
"My tummy hurts and my head." She cried and I held her close to me.
Her stomach let off a loud gurgle and a wave of panic ran through me as I realised she was going to throw up.
I hated vomit.
That was always mine and Shawn's rule.
I handle the shit, he handles any vomit.
"Mamma I might be sick." She said and I nodded and rushed her into the bathroom.
We just made it and I held her curly locks as she threw up in the toilet.
She cried as she vomited and my heart broke as I didn't know what I could do to help her.

We sat there as she puked for a good ten minutes. I didn't know how such a small body could hold all of this.
I held her hair and rubbed her back and wiped her nose when she had breaks.
I sighed as she crawled onto my lap.
"Not nice." She cried and I couldn't help but giggle slightly.
"No baby. Not nice. Do you feel better?" I said and she shook her head no. "More sick?"
She shook her head no again so I wiped her mouth and nose and carried her to the kitchen.

I ran a cup of water and helped her to sip it.
I felt her head again and she was still burning up.
"Does your head still hurt?"
She nodded and I sighed.

I carried her back to mine and Shawn's room, grabbing her elephant and blanket on the way, and placed her on Shawn's side of the bed.
"Can I stay?" She groaned and I nodded.
"Yes baby you're staying here. If you feel sick I've put a bowl on the floor ok?" I said and stroked her hair as she closed her eyes.

As she started to breathe regularly I sat on my side of the bed and picked up my phone.
I was panicking.
My child was sick and I didn't know what to do.
I needed to be a mother to her and I couldn't even do that.
In that moment I wished that Shawn were here.
Despite everything, I needed him here.
I needed help.
I needed Shawn.
And as I looked over at our pale little girl I knew she needed him and wanted him too.