His Fling, My Forever

•Chapter 21•

Shawn Mendes

I was excited on the drive back. I couldn't wait to show Elara the room I had created. As soon as we pulled up to the house I was nearly bouncing to get inside.
"I'll carry her." I smiled, taking Frances in my arms and walking up to the house with Elara following behind, wheeling her small suitcase and carrying a baby bag.
"So I have a surprise for you."
"Oh god."
I led her up the stairs and to the room I had set up for them and pushed open the door.
I heard a small gasp come from Elara and I watched as her hands covered her mouth. She walked in slowly and as she removed her hands I could see that there were tears in her eyes.
She ran we hand along the edge of the cot and along some of the stuffed animals I had gotten before turning back to me, tears now freely flowing.
I walked and put Frances down gently into her cot before taking Elara into my arms and holding her tight.
She waited a moment, but eventually her arms wrapped around me and I felt relaxed and let the breath I was holding out.
"You didn't have to do all this." She cried against my chest.
I pulled myself away from her and held her upper arms.
"You're my family. We may not be together but you and Frances are my family and I will do anything for you. Anything." I said and she nodded, wiping away her tears.
"Thank you it means so much. To both of us." She sniffled and I smiled before kissing the top of her head.
"Though I would like to talk through everything. You know, future plans." I said and she nodded. "Shall we go downstairs?"
"I'll just grab-"
"She'll be ok in here. I've set up baby cameras and monitors in here so you can see her on the app." I said and I saw Elara visibly tense.
"I don't know."
"I promise. Look." I pulled out my phone and showed her the live feed I was getting. "If she so much as moves or makes a sound we can hear it."

Elara nodded and we walked out of the room and down to the living area. She crossed her arms over her chest and placed herself gently on the sofa. She looked around the room, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her.
"You're beautiful." I had let it slip out before I had even had a chance to consider it. I sat beside her as she shook her head, a slight smile on her face.
"What?"
"I'm with Finn." She said quietly, barely above a whisper.
"I know."
"And he's amazing with her." She said and a pain ran through my heart.
"I haven't had the chance." I said and she turned her body to face me.
"But you do now. I'm giving you the chance to know her. And I'm so grateful for what you've set up already. But Finn, he's been there for me and he cares for her so much. I can't just turn round and say that he can't see her and he can't be involved." She explained and I felt tears coming to my eyes no matter how hard I tried to push them down.

I couldn't handle the thought that another man was more of a father to my baby than I was hurt me more than I expected it to. It hurt that he was part of her family and not me. I hated it. I wished I had just picked up the phone when she had first rung me to tell me. Now, I had no chance. Not now that he was in the picture. There was no chance.
"Shawn, whats wrong?" She asked and I unexpectedly flinched as I felt her thumbs wipe away my tears and her hands cupped my face. She was kneeling next to me and I sniffled.
"There's no chance for me. He's been there. I haven't. So while you're with him he's your family. I'm not. I- I need a minute." I said and got up off the sofa and quickly walked away, leaving Elara.

As I closed the door of my room the tears started falling and I slid down the door, landing on the floor, my knees pressed to my chest.
It hurt bad.
Worse than any other pain I had ever experienced before.