Shawn Mendes "You still haven't told her about the album? Or tour?" "No and I feel bad enough without you making it worse." I grumbled and slumped down in the studio chair. "She needs to know that you're leaving in a year. It's not fair to her or the child." "Frances." "Yes sorry. Frances."
Andrew and I had had the same conversation too many times. But I couldn't find it in me to tell Elara about the tour. I knew she would be upset about it and I still needed to come up with a plan of how I could take her with me. She would have finished university, that wasn't the issue. The issue would be her not wanting to make Frances travel when she should be starting school. I had the argument that Elara could teach her the basics for a while but I knew she wouldn't be keen on the idea.
"Please promise me you'll tell her before the weekend?" Andrew said and I nodded while rolling my eyes. "What if she kicks up a fuss?" "Well, start with the news about the album, and the first listen party we're having, then just gently mention the tour and just for gods sake reassure her it'll be ok." He said and I nodded once again.
I walked out of the studio and picked up a coffee as I made my way home. I kept thinking about the shock of Elara asking me about marriage. It wasn't crazy and I could definitely warm to the idea of marriage. But I knew that deep down neither of us were ready for that. Not yet at least.
As I was rounding the corner to our apartment I collided with someone and immediately felt horrified as they fell onto the pavement. "Shit." They sighed and I gasped as I looked down to see Agnes clutching her wrist. "Agnes?! Oh god I'm so so sorry! Here let me help." I said and held under her arms as she stood up. "Thanks I- Oh my god Shawn!" She said and I watched as a red glow appeared on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry Agnes I wasn't paying attention." "It's fine. I wasn't watching where I was going." She smiled. "You're bleeding. Oh god come on, Elara will help." "Shes not home." Agnes sighed and I frowned. "Oh. Well then I'll help." I smiled. "No no that's ok." "Seriously I insist. We have a first aid kit." I said and she walked close by my side back to the apartment.
Agnes sat herself down on the couch as I sifted through Elara and Is bathroom cabinet until I landed on the first aid kit. I pulled it out and headed back to where she was sat. I sat beside her and she shuffled a tiny bit closer, making me feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. "Do you know where Elara is?" I said clearing my throat. Agnes shrugged, "I'm not sure. Isn't she looking round schools for Frances?" I immediately shook my head and she looked up at me with bright blue eyes. "We're doing that together." I said firmly and she parted her lips slightly. "Must be nice. You two, this family. Everything." She sighed and I looked down at the antiseptic wiped in my hands and pulled one out of the pack. I held her hand in mine and she seemingly gasped at the contact. I cleared my throat again and the awkward feeling kept rising inside me. "Y-yeah I love them both endlessly." I said and she sighed. "I know." She said sadly as I began to wipe the blood off of her wrist. "Why do you sound sad about that?" I said and she shook her head. "Doesn't matter." "Talk to Elara." "Beck won't understand. She'll never understand how I feel." She said and I stopped as she placed a shaky hand over mine. "What's going on?" I said and shuffled away from her.
I knew what was going on I just didn't believe it. I felt sick. She was Elara's best friend. They were thick as thieves with one another. Friends for life. Yet here Agnes was, shuffling closer to me, placing her hand on top of mine, talking sadly about Elara and I's relationship. It sent a wave of anxiety through me and I wanted nothing more than for Elara to walk through the door and put an end to this.
I tried to avoid her eyes but as she placed her hand on mine for the second time, I had to look at her. I made sure she saw the confusion and horror that I was feeling inside. "Agnes..." "Shawn I'm so sorry but I can't hide how I feel about you." She said and her eyes started to get glassy. I feared that she would cry. I couldn't stand seeing anyone upset. "W-what do you mean?" I asked breathlessly as I felt the anxiety creep up. "I-I tries to hide how I felt for the sake of Elara and the baby but the more I saw you, the more I've come round, the more Elara talks about you, the more I realise that I-I have feelings for you Shawn. I like you." She confessed and I felt vomit rise in my chest. "I-I" "I know it's insane but I can't hide it anymore. It's driving me crazy seeing you together with my best friend, and this little family you have." She said and a tear spilt over.
I still couldn't muster the words out. All I could do was stare at her. As I was sat staring at her, I had no time to react to her hand gently cupping my face and her lips quickly pressing onto mine. My eyes widened and I stood up. I walked to the other side of the room and ran my hands through my hair. "What the fuck was that?!" I whisper yelled. "I'm sorry ok?! But I feel things for you Shawn and I don't want to hide them!" She said standing up herself. "I love Elara! I have a family with her! Jesus Agnes that's your best friend!" I yelled. "Please Shawn," "No! No, how crushed do you think she'll be when she finds out what's happened?!" I said and her face suddenly paled. "Shawn you can't tell her. Please. It'll ruin everything." She cried, but this time I had no sympathy. "I'm telling her Agnes. She deserves to know. No, she has to know." I said and Agnes just shook her head. "No, no, no. No she doesn't. And she won't know. Not if I get to her first and tell her that you came on to me." "You're willing to risk our family to save your own neck?!" I yelled.
She opened her mouth to say something more when the sound of the keys in the door rang out through the apartment. Elara.
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