His Fling, My Forever

•Chapter 35•

Shawn Mendes
The apartment was pretty much done.
Elara made sure of that.
Especially as it was Frances' birthday today.

I couldn't believe that Frances had been born a year ago today.
Yet I couldn't seem to find the amount of joy that I should have had.
And I knew that Elara could see that but I couldn't bring myself to tell her.
But I knew she would bring it up at some point.

"So are we going to talk about this now or later?" Elara said as I sat watching her get Frances ready.
"There's nothing to be said." I shrugged.
"Shawn don't bullshit me please. I really want this to be a happy day." She sighed.
"I just, I just don't feel happy today." I sighed and put my head in my hands.
I heard her walk over to me and she placed her hands ontop of mine.
"Hey, what's going on?" She asked and the tears started to well in my eyes.
"With her being one, it just reminds me that I wasn't there when she was born or for the first few weeks and I feel awful about it. I wasn't a dad to her then." I sniffled and Elara rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around me.
"Shawn you were always her father. There was no question of that. And look at us all now. We're a family. What happened then, it's nothing compared to the love we have now. So don't even think about it ok? She's your daughter and both of us love you." She said and I shrugged.
"But I can't redo those moments."
"Well then we'll have to have more babies." Elara grinned and I felt myself blush. "Shawn I'm joking."
"Thank god"
"But please don't worry about it. She nor I will even worry about it, not now or when she's older so stop worrying."

I leant down and kissed her forehead before wrapping my arms around her tight.
I knew that I wanted to be with Elara already.
I couldn't be with anyone else.
We already had a perfect family.
But I knew she'd freak if I asked her to marry me.
Besides, even I wasn't ready.
But I knew I didn't want anyone else.

Both of our families arrived first and then a few of our friends.
"Is that everyone?" I sighed as we ushered people into the small garden area we had.
I had always loved the fact that the apartment had a garden area, even with it being high up, it made it feel more like a proper home.
"No. Agnes isn't here."
Just as Elara finished her sentence the doorbell rang and Elara bounded over to the door.
"Hey baby." I heard Agnes squeal as I walked out to the garden.
I still didn't understand how the two were  friends.

I frowned as I heard a male voice coming through the house.
I hadn't really paid attention to who Elara was inviting but I didn't remember a man.
As they walked into the garden to join us I struggled for a moment to remember who it was.
But as Elara sent a certain sympathetic look my way I remembered it was Finn. 
My heart dropped to the floor and I couldn't stop myself from tensing up.
Especially as he walked over to where Frances sat on her play mat with her toys and she looked up at him with her big eyes.
"What's wrong?" Mum whispered over to me.
"That's Elaras ex. I didn't realise he was coming." I said and had to stop the anger from seething out of me.

How could she invite him?
She knew how insecure I was about him being there when Frances was born and him being the father figure for the first few months of her life.
And now he was stood with my child in my house.
My child.

Elara kept sending me glances from across the garden but I mainly tried to avoid her gaze.
I felt hurt and almost betrayed.
And it was more than awkward when we were all sat together and Agnes made a point of sitting Elara and I together.
"Shawn I didn't -"
"I can't believe you two have done all of this together in such a short amount of time." Elaras mother said and I forced a smile onto my face.
"Well both of us were pretty determined to get it done." I said and Elara nodded.
"What's next?" Agnes asked and Elara shot her a glance that I didn't understand.
"We're not sure. I know Shawn's wanting to get back in the studio and on tour as soon as possible and I need to do this last year of uni." Elara sighed and Agnes went to open her mouth gain but after another warning glance from Elara she shut it again quickly.
"Aren't you both worried about not being all together? Honeymoon phase doesn't last forever." Elaras father said and both of us looked to one another.
"We'll be fine. Everything will be ok."

After everyone had left and Frances was put into bed with all her new toys, Elara and I were left alone.
Neither of us spoke.
I was angry and I she felt guilty.

"Shawn I-"
"I don't want to hear it." I said.
"Please don't be like that."
"You knew. You know how insecure I feel about him. You know that I hated how he was her father for the first months or whatever. And yet you bring him here and allow him to be near her, after what he did and said to you , and after you knew how I felt." I ranted and I saw tears start to well in her eyes.
"Shawn I didn't know he was coming. When he showed up with Agnes I was just as surprised as you." She sniffled.
"That's a lie Elara. He wouldn't have just shown up would he!" I said and stood up from the couch.
"I'm not lying! I wouldn't do that to you Shawn! I love you!" She said and tried to take a hold of my hand.
"If you love me you wouldn't have fucking invited him!"
"Don't swear at me. If you'd get your head out of your arsehole you'd listen to me and know that I did not invite Finn!" She yelled, the tears now angry and streaming down her cheeks.
But I couldn't believe her.
He wouldn't have just come here.
And Agnes wouldn't have invited him knowing what happened between them.
So it was left to Elara.
"It wouldn't have been anyone else! It's like a betrayal to me and our family!"
"Oh stop being so dramatic about it! It's not like he tried to even talk to you!"
"You let him hold my daughter!"
"Yes because he was there when you were too arrogant to pick up the phone!" She cried and I held back the yell that I wanted to let out.
"Fuck you." I cried but I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth, especially as her mouth fell and her eye widened.
"Get out."
"This is my house."
"Get the fuck out. Get away from us."
"You're being a bitch about this."
"Shawn Mendes if you don't get out in ten minutes I will take our child and I will leave. And you will not see her again." Elara sobbed and I knew I had crossed the line.
But my vision of red made me pick up my coat and leave the apartment, slamming the door on the way out.