Fragmented Rhapsody

Fragment 14

14
Plans

"Natalia," she started and smiled a little. "Pwede ba tayo mag-usap?"

I faced her direction and nodded timidly. If there's one thing I've observed while I was with her, Felicia doesn't fake her attitude. She acts out the way she feels toward you. She's a mature woman of her age and knows how to deal with people.

Maybe I don't feel uneasy with her invitation to talk because I know it's rational.

Ngumiti siya sa akin, and I did the same too.

"Where do you wanna talk?"

"Wala ka bang quiz or something?" she asked, worried that she might have disturbed me.

I shook my head in an instant and gave her a disarming smile. "Wala naman..."

We then decided to talk in a café inside the campus. Hindi naman ito kalayuan sa library kaya saglit lang ang lalakarin namin. We were just walking side by side, totally aware of each other and the cloud of silence hovering above us. Wala ni isang umimik sa aming dalawa at saka na lamang nabasag ang katahimikan nang makarating kami sa coffee shop.

She asked for my drink and was the one who ordered it for us. I didn't argue about it anymore and let her do what she wanted.

Nang makabalik siya, maingat niyang ibinababa ang aming mga inumin at marahang umupo sa aking tapat. I was looking at her the whole time. I wanted her to know that I'm ready to listen to whatever she says.

"I like Octavian," she stated, which no longer surprised me. She's trying to look at me nonchalantly, but I can see the sparks behind that. Sa mga araw na nakasama ko siya, I was able to grasp it. Hindi ko alam kung alam din ba ni Octavian iyon, but he usually treats her like he used to treat his other batch mates.

"Alam kong....alam mo 'yon," pagpapatuloy niya, "I'm saying this because I want you to know why I was maintaining a gap between us two."

The café is not jam-packed today. Iilan lamang ang mga estudyanteng andirito. The music was a bit loud, but I could hear what she said loud and clear.

"I understand," I answered. There's nothing wrong about it because Octavian isn't hard to like. "I understand because I like him too..."

Her eyes widened a bit after my blunt confession. She wasn't expecting it, I could see. Pero gusto ko ring malaman niya 'yon. After telling me what she really feels towards him, I wanted her to know mine too. Because I don't like the idea of two women conflicting over a man. If there's something that solves a feud – it's the transparency.

Women are intuitive beings. We aren't supposed to be hiding the truth about our emotions because we deserve to be heard and listened to. We're not highschoolers anymore. We're of the right age to deal with what's in our plates in the most ideal manner.

"We're on the same page then," she smiled. Tahimik naming inubos ang mga in-order naming mga inumin at hinayaan ang isa't-isang malunod sa sariling pag-iisip.

We talked afterwards about our research since it is just 3 days away from now. Naging mas magaan na rin ang pakiramdam sa pagitan namin. It just feels a lot better now that I've confronted this matter with her. When it was almost the time for her next class, nagpaalam na rin siya. I didn't have to worry for my case since it was my vacant time.

On the opposite note, this talk should have served as a free ticket, but to me, it isn't. I'm still determined to push through with my plan. Hindi ako nagbabago ng plano. I stick with them through fire and water.