Fragmented Rhapsody

Fragment 05

 05
Cuts and Bruises

"Nahulugan nga ng cellphone."

"Hindi ako naniniwala."

"Subukan mo sa'yo. Para maniwala ka," iritang baling ni Octavian sa akin.

I don't buy his excuse for the cut he has on the side of his lips. Sobrang talim naman ng gilid ng kaniyang cellphone para masugatan pa ang kaniyang balat. If I knew better, it's a cut that is from someone's knuckles.

Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata at hinila ang buhok para masabunutan.

"Get out from my sight then," I spat. 

I can't put up with it anymore. The more time I spend with him, the more that I am able to notice the bruises and cuts he has been having for the past few weeks. Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang mga sugat na nakikita ko kasi hindi ko rin malaman kung ano ba ang nagdudulot nito.

I don't like secrets. But I don't like crossing some lines as well.

"Ayaw," parang bata niyang sabi. "Let's just review. Please?"

"How can I review if you're here?" I lowly whimpered. 

Gusto ko na talaga siyang mawala sa paningin ko dahil may hindi ako gaanong naiintindihan sa lecture. I need to understand this well before the long quizzes start. And with Octavian around – I don't think I could fully grasp the gist of my readings when all he does is to distract me without even doing anything. 

His presence alone puts me in a very conscious manner. Pakiramdam ko lahat ng galaw ko ay pinapanood niya. He monitors like my father but unlike him, Octavian's kind of a bit disarming. 

"You're affected by my presence?" taas-kilay niyang ngisi. "It's okay, Natalia. You don't have to keep it. I'm quite glad you're this open about what you really feel towards me!"

See? 

"Stop feeding your ego." Umiling ako at kinunutan ng noo ang binabasa. 

"Okay," he grinned. 

I shrugged and went back to the book. 

Ganoon lang kami ni Octavian. We argue a lot – almost about anything. But I'm just surprised I don't burst quickly as much as before. Dahil ata sa palagi naming pagtatalo, natutunan ko paano kontrolin ang inis ko. 

We always hang out together. Naging tambayan na rin namin ni Caitlyn ang hideout nila dito sa school. They are always welcoming us around.

Octavian took off his jacket and placed it on the table. Ginawa niya itong unan at nagsimulang matulog. He was facing me, his eyes closed and breathing calm. He always has this good-boy type of face that makes you wonder how good of a man he is. Clearly, hindi naman siya sobrang mabait. 

But I knew there's more than what meets the eye. Octavian's personality perfectly coats what he's hiding in the inside.

I'm not stupid.

Alam kong may mga tinatago siya – tulad na lang ng mga palagi kong nakikitang sugat sa kaniya. I don't know if it's caused by the frat he's in, or he's just usually lured into street fights.  But I don't have the right to unravel it. Gustuhin ko man magtanong, hindi ito tama. Ayaw kong magtunog pakialamera.

The fact that he's superb at firing a gun says a lot about it. People usually treat shooting as a recreational activity. However, there's a fine percent of people who train to protect themselves, sort of a self-defense from enemies associated with family or background.

I wonder what group does Octavian belong?

"Why are you sleeping here? Sa hideout ka na lang," I hissed, scared that the librarian might catch him. I placed my bag on the table, adjacent to his face, to cover him from the librarian's vision. Kung mahuhuli siya, I'm so sure I'd be sidetracked on it!