Fragmented Rhapsody

Fragment 18

18
Trip

I couldn't take my mind off what I witnessed even when I got back home in Baguio. 

Masyadong magulo ang utak ko sa gabing 'yon. I was captured by liquor, making me more vulnerable to twisted thinking. Because it's just too impossible for Octavian to be there – but the odds do not come in my favor. It's like I've been constantly pushed and pulled by an idea that is too absurd and ridiculous.

Not that I am resorting to an ad hominin, it just doesn't take rocket science to patch things off. Ang daling pagdugto-dugtungin ng mga bagay-bagay pero parang hindi ko rin magawa. There's this hole that needs to be filled in – Miguel Arthur Santillan was a curved man tangled with a nasty past of dirty businesses but there wasn't any news about him involved in a familial scandal.

His family history is well threaded. There is no discrepancy or what. He wasn't involved in any scandal or affair. That's what makes this idea a lot harder to hold on to, kasi walang matibay na pruweba roon.

Kaya naman sa mga sumunod na araw ay parang wala ulit ako sa sarili. The house is empty again, just like how it has always been. Papa didn't go home because he needs to stay for work. It was already my summer vacation and all I am up to is our firm. Araw-araw lang ako pumapasok upang siguruhin na lahat ng deals at proposals ay validated. I can't mess this up. Papa's already handling a bigger responsibility and he needs me to step up my game.

Hindi lang ako sigurado kung hanggang saan ako dadalhin nitong kakayahan ko, but I know deep inside that I am up for the challenge as well. Iniisip ko na lang na pagsasanay na rin ito sa magiging trabaho at papel ko pagkatapos ng tatlong taon.

After all, I think I was raised to handle things to my own accord.

I spent another month of working in the firm and I was able to clear my head because of that.

Sinimsim ko ang natitirang kape sa tasa na na sa ibabaw ng aking lamesa. It's a usual day in the office and all the paper works. I've been working nonstop for weeks now. Pati ang mga senior manager ng kompanya ay hinihikayat na rin muna akong magpahinga at mamasyal muna ng ilang araw pero nginingitian ko lang sila. 

I don't think I can slack off because all my life, I've been treating rest as a form of slacking.

It's almost past 5 in the afternoon when I decided to call the day off. I let all our employees go home early as well to attend their personal and private responsibilities. Masiyado na rin silang nabugbog sa trabaho. I think I'm becoming more of a future workaholic but I am definitely not going to be merciless.

My phone echoed a ringing sound from the insides of my grey Alma bag while I was busy clearing the desk in Papa's office. Mabilisan ko itong kinuha at sinagot.

"Na sa parking lot ako, baby," a sing-song voice emerged from it. 

 My face instantly formed a smile when his soft voice welcomed my ears. Palagi kaming nagkikita tuwing hapon bago ako umuwi galling sa firm. It's like a practice already that I am used to. I've been stressed for a couple of weeks now but I was able to push aside all my worries and doubts because he's much bigger than any of them. 

Hindi ko na rin inisip pa nang masinsinan ang nangyari noong nakaraang buwan. I just don't want to think about anything heavy right now. We didn't really talk about that night. I didn't want to confront that idea anymore because it was a baseless presumption.

I did ask about his whereabouts when I got home from Manila the next day after that one night and he said he's at home.

Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya at malaya sa lahat – and that's being beside Octavian.