Honest Lies | soojin

Part 2: Medicine for the Heart

I could feel it. Shuhua's slowly drifting away from me. She's distancing herself. She did read Hui-oppa's message. Why did I even left my phone in there knowing that I had this secret to hide?

Why did I even chose to hide it from these girls?

Things couldn't have possibly gone worse that day. Friday. The day of Evaluation, and not just the regular Evaluation Day, but our first Midterm Examination of the year.

My day started off on a bad footing: I cut my finger from opening a can of sausages, I left my water bottle back at the dorm, Soyeon's missing, and we had no idea where she went. Wait a minute...

We have searched for Soyeon in almost every vacant room inside the school premises, some of the girls even went so far as to look for her at her house near the school. She's not the type to leave without notice, and she cares so much for this team and for every performance. She couldn't possibly bailed on us just like that, there must be a reason.

I passed on this public CR near the cafeteria multiple times already, but I was purposely ignoring it because an ugly memory kept on replaying inside my head whenever I look at it. Behind it is where Minnie-unnie found out my hidden affiliation with a senior we highly respected: Hui-oppa.

But I have no time to care about myself, for now, what's more important is finding our leader. I heaved a great sigh before entering the spotless CR.

"Soyeon-ah? Are you in there?" I called out, checking every unlocked stall for any sign. At the last stall, the door was locked so I knock gently, "Soyeon-ah, is that you?"

I heard a groan, then a small "Yeah" confirmed my speculation.

"Hey, we've been searching for you everywhere! What's going on?"

Soyeon forced out a response, but it came out as a whine. I could tell she's having difficulty even to speak.

I messaged the girls to tell them about our whereabouts.

Yuqi arrived soon after, panting from obviously running all the way from somewhere up to here.

"What's up, Unnie? Is Soyeon-unnie in there?" Yuqi asked, still breathing hard.

I nodded.

Yuqi went ahead towards the stall Soyeon was on and knocked violently, "UNNIE! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? ARE YOU NERVOUS TO PERFORM? IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HIDING?"

I covered my ears, "Aahhh.. Really, Song Yuqi... Too loud!" Yuqi apologetically smiled, "You know she's not deaf, right?"

"Sorry, Unnie. I'm just worried." Yuqi replied in a whisper.

"Yah. Yuqi-ah." Soyeon blurted out in a small voice. "Can you get me something to drink?"

"Unnie! I have my bottle here with me." Yuqi immediately searched for the bottle in her bag, "What's wrong with you?"

"Can you roll it to me?" Soyeon asked. Yuqi and I looked at each other before she did what she was told. The door of the stall has a small gap, just enough to see the feet of anyone that is inside. "I don't think I can perform guys. I——arghhh! — I'm having a diarrhea. I even forgot to bring my phone with me."

"I already messaged the girls, let's decide what to do after they're all here."

***

After finalizing our decision, I went alone to buy some medicine at the nearest pharmacy. I felt awful. I asked Shuhua to go with me, but she declined. She never says no, at least not to me.

I don't know how to talk to her about Hui-oppa's message. It was different with Minnie-unnie finding out about it, I felt really scared back then that's why it came out as an aggressive defense and we fought. But with Shuhua, I'm not afraid for myself, I'm afraid that I would hurt her in any way. And with her being this level of distant from me, it stings a little.

I got so used of her following me around, even though most of the time that she's with me, she's just using her phone. We were contented like that. But now, I felt something missing, and it hasn't been a whole day yet.

"Yuqi-ah, they're still not here?" I asked, feeling stupid about asking afterwards because it is so obvious. The three haven't returned yet. What's taking them so long?

Luckily, Yuqi wasn't in the mood to answer me sarcastically. I think that even though she's trying to act like she's having fun seeing Soyeon suffer, she's actually more worried than any of us combined. She values Soyeon that much.

"Not yet, Unnie. I don't think Soyeon-unnie's getting any better either." Yuqi bites her lower lip, "She's gonna be fine, right? I mean, just in time for our performance?"

I shook my head, uncertain about it myself, "I don't know. Let's just hope that the President would give us another chance if things didn't go well."

Yuqi volunteers to give the medicine to Soyeon herself, it's fine by me because I would have some time for myself to think and plan about my current situation with Shuhua.

Should I talk to her over dinner tonight? No. I can't risk the other girls knowing about this. Maybe I should go talk to her before she sleeps later. I just wish she wouldn't intentionally sleep earlier than usual just to avoid talking to me.

The three came back with bright faces so I was assuming everything worked out great. Soyeon had joined us outside, but she's still pale from earlier.

"Are we still on for today?" Yuqi asked as soon as the girls came at a hearing distance. She then glanced to Soyeon beside her, "Do you think you could still perform, Unnie?"

"Yeah. I think I'll manage." Soyeon smiled, trying to look like she's alright, but the beads of sweat on her forehead tells us otherwise.

"I don't think we have to worry about that anymore." Minnie-unnie said.

"Are they going to give us a chance?" I inquired.

Minnie-unnie gazed at Miyeon-unnie.

"Well... The President wasn't specific about it, but I believe that they'd give us another chance to perform." Miyeon-unnie grinned widely. I looked over to Minnie-unnie for confirmation and she nods and replicate the expression of her same-age friend.

I heard a collective sighs from the three of us who heard about the news late.

"That's great!"

"But you guys know that we could still perform now, right? I can do it." Soyeon said.

"Nope. We're not gonna risk it, Soyeon-ah!" Minnie-unnie reached over and wipes away the sweat from Soyeon's forehead with her handkerchief. "Let's just go back to the dorm and rest. I'm sure everyone's tired from searching for you all morning, little miss."

"Yeah, I wouldn't bet on it either. At least we could rest earlier and we could use this weekend to practice for more improvement."

"Alright, let's go!!" Yuqi yells. I flinched to the sound. *sighs*