What If...

Chapter 17: I Won't Leave You

Rey's POV

Ezaina faced us, saber drawn. The red blade made the water surrounding it hiss. An almost bored expression adorned her pale features, but I knew and had seen before what was underneath, in her eyes.

My own blade was still out. I looked down at it, and saw it quivering. Then I realized it was because my hands were shaking uncontrollably from my lasting anger at Oliah, and the shock from actually killing her.

"Miss your servant?" Ben asked scathingly.

Ezaina gave him a cruel smile. "No. She was simply that. A servant. I suppose I should thank you for killing her for me. She was a liability, a loose end."

"Well, get on with it," I snapped. "We have places to be."

"Yes, you do. On trial before the Mosianans. You killed one of their own, did you not?"

I did not respond.

"We had good reason. She was a traitor," Ben said.

"To you, maybe. The Mosianans won't see it that way, I promise you." She twirled her saber between her fingers nonchalantly, apparently mesmerized by the red glow.

"We could put you on trial just as easily. You killed one of our own," I retorted, thinking about Finn.

She laughed insanely. "The blow he received wasn't meant to kill him. He just got in the way." Her black eyes were dilating crazily. "You could've saved him. That's one of the advantages of your dyad."

I felt like I'd been slapped. I looked at Ben and found him just as surprised as I was. How did she know about healing?

"We weren't strong enough to save him. If we'd healed him how he was, we would've died," Ben said slowly.

"You mean if she had healed him. You, on the other hand, were perfectly alright, and could've helped him if you wanted."

My mouth fell open. I couldn't believe that. I couldn't. No, no Ben was too hurt, too injured, to help Finn.

I stared at Ezaina angrily, physically shaking. "No. You're lying!"

"Am I? If I was lying, you'd be able to sense it, wouldn't you?" She persisted. "Wouldn't you?!"

I couldn't take her anymore. I wanted her out of my life. I wanted her dead.

My own thoughts scared me.

"Hey," Ben spoke in my mind. "Don't think like that. That's not the Rey I know."

"Is it true?" I asked. "Could you have saved him?"

Silence.

"I don't know," he responded. He sounded broken.

I had no response. Just stayed silent.

I replayed the memories of Finn's death in my mind, remembering the smallest details.

There was Ezaina, completely insane, choking me through the Force.

There was the blissful unconsciousness that had followed.

Waking up in Ben's arms, wondering if he was real.

Going back to sleep, only to have Ben wake me up again.

Realizing everything was real. Locked in Ben's embrace like I'd never see him again.

Sensing danger.

Ezaina trying to attack me, only for Finn to leap in the way.

Screaming his name.