What If...

Chapter 7: Breakthrough

Rey's POV

On the second day of my captivity, the torture began.

Ezaina was young, maybe five years older than me, but she was an extremely strong Sith. Very powerful, very dangerous. And very temperamental.

She tried to get in my head, and succeeded, just for a minute. She'd obviously had a lot of training. In that minute, I was in so much more pain than when Ben got inside my head. At least Ben was trying to get information. She was doing it for almost no reason at all. I wondered if maybe she wasn't sane. When she got in my mind, I saw so many memories. One in particular was clearer, sharper than the rest. One of Ben's and my Force connections.

It was our fourth connection since the battle of Crait. And honestly, I really didn't want to talk to him.

"Rey," he said when we both had realized we were connected once again. We hadn't figured out how to connect when we wanted to. It just happened at random times.

"What?" I asked a little harshly. I was turned away from him.

"Will you please just look at me for once?"

"No," I replied. I hadn't looked at him since Crait, since he offered me his hand and I rejected him. To hide my tears.

"Why not?" He asked insistently.

I gave in. I turned and looked him straight in the eye. My vision was a little distorted. "It hurts too much." A single tear broke free and fell down my cheek.

He looked away, hurt written all over his face for just an instant. Then he looked at me again, and took a hesitant step forward. And another. And a few more until we were maybe ten inches apart. He reached out to touch my face, and I reflexively jumped back a few steps.

The look I gave him was one of disgust, to hide my emotions. I didn't want him to know how much I wanted his touch. Wait, no. Not his. Ben's. I wanted Ben's touch.

The vision changed. This time, it wasn't a memory.

Ben was standing in front of me. I took his hand. He gave mine a gentle squeeze. I smiled at him. Suddenly, I heard something. A lightsaber igniting. I spun around, and saw me. But it wasn't me. It was the same Rey from the vision I received when I touched the wayfinder. The Empress of the Sith. She smiled evilly, and ran at Ben.

"No!" I yelled, and blocked her attack with my own saber. She waved her hand, and I flew backward. I landed hard on my back. I looked up just in time to see her stab Ben through the chest. I screamed his name. He looked over at me, and glared.

"It's your fault. All your fault," he spoke into my mind. "Look at what you've done."

I looked around. And saw bodies all around me. Rose. Finn. Poe. Chewie. Leia. Luke. Han. All those I loved, dead around me. My fault, my fault, my fault. I killed them. They're dead because of me. I killed them. My fault.

That was when I got her out of my mind, and I woke up screaming. My face was hot with tears. Ezaina let out a blast of Force energy out of anger, and it knocked all the air out of me. She ranted and yelled in dathomiri as I struggled to regain my breath. Then I realized that wasn't the only thing the blast caused. I looked down, and my hands were covered in blood. My blood. Somehow, the blast had given me a stomach wound, like it stabbed me. Vaguely, I remember wondering if this is how Ben felt when I stabbed him.

She saw my gut and her eyes widened in shock. In realization of what she'd done.

And I passed out.

...........