The Seventh Sense is Love

Attraction

I'm blind.

Meredith couldn't stop thinking about her meeting with Derek Shepherd. She felt like a complete jackass. A dumb, insensitive jackass. She'd noticed the dark glasses, the fact that he was not moving and seemed slightly nervous.

I'm a freaking doctor, she thinks. How did I not connect the dots? Oh yeah, I was busy picking my clumsy ass up off the floor and then flirting with him.

"Meredith, what's wrong?"

Meredith dropped her fork on her plate of uneaten salad. She'd been pushing it around and picking at it but not really eating while she beat herself up mentally. She looked at her little sister Lexie - who was an intern this year - and tried to smile, but ended up heaving a huge sigh. "Do you remember studying neurology publishing's by Derek Shepherd in med school?"

Lexie looks at her sister like she's a little bit crazy and replies, "Of course, Meredith. He's brilliant, world renown and unfortunately retired. According to what we were told in school last year he retired unexpectedly and is now very reclusive."

"I imagine he would be," Meredith says - sounding a little sad.

"What does that mean?" Lexie questions. Her eyes widen a bit and she asks, "Meredith, what do you know?"

"Lexie, you can not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

"Who would I tell? You're my best friend and the only person I really talk to around here."

"You're dating Alex - so I imagine you talk to him."

"All right smart-ass. Obviously I talk to other people around here, but you're the only one I open-up to. And I told you - Alex and I aren't dating... we're just having sex."

Meredith scrunches her nose and sighs, which makes Lexie laugh. Then Meredith leans closer to her sister and whispers, "I met Derek Shepherd this morning."

"You met Der..." Lexie starts to yell but stops when Meredith kicks her under the table.

"I told you not to tell anyone and you're about to yell it to the entire cafeteria! This isn't high school, Lexie!"

"I'm sorry, Mer. I was just shocked. Why is it such a secret that you met him, though?"

"I was running late for a meeting with the Chief and I literally ran into Derek. I thought he was visiting a patient. I was flirting with him. He's younger than I thought. He's hot and I was flirting with him. He was actually going to the same meeting with the Chief. I was an insensitive jackass and I was flirting like a school girl. I suck."

"Meredith, lighten up on yourself," Lexie laughs. "So you were flirting with a hot neurosurgeon - big deal."

"That part is mortifying..."

"Why?"

"Lexie, let me finish. I was distracted and I didn't notice, but that's not really an excuse." Meredith sighs again and whispers, "I suck because I didn't notice that he's blind. He had to tell me because I was too stupid to notice."

Lexie has a shocked expression on her face. Finally she asks, "Are you kidding Meredith? Is this some kind of joke?"

"That'd be a pretty cruel joke, Lex."

"Oh my god."

"Please don't tell anyone, Lexie. I only told you because... well, I probably shouldn't have but I guess I needed to talk to you."

"Of course I won't; but why was he here? Why were you two meeting with the Chief?"

"I have no idea," Meredith answers. "I had to go into surgery because of the pile up on the interstate."

"Oh. How did he handle you not realizing he's..."

"He said it was no big deal," Meredith interrupts. "He was funny and kind of arrogant, but in a good way. He told me he's a lot likeable."

"You like him."

"I don't know him."

"You so like him," Lexie insists.

"Lexie.."

"No, you do... You said he's hot, funny, good-arrogant and likeable. He's a rock star in our world and you're attracted to him."

"I have to go."

"Bye Mer."

"Bye Lex."
*

Derek was in a bad mood. He gave a short, humorless laugh and decided that 'bad mood' was a ridiculous understatement. He was furious: At the world in general; at himself and Richard Webber, specifically. It had been four days since his brief visit to Seattle Grace. During those four days the conversation with Richard kept swirling around in his head.

"Come back to work, Derek."

"Sure" Derek replies sarcastically. "I'm sure people would be more-than-willing to have a blind surgeon cut them open."

"Obviously that's not what I meant," Richard sighs.

"Then what do you mean?" Derek asks angrily.

"This is still a teaching hospital, Derek. I want you to come back to work and teach. There's no one better than you - I don't think there ever will be."

"Kissing my ass isn't going to work. I'm not coming back - not while I'm still blind."

"You've been blind for over four years..."

"Thanks for the reminder."

"Derek," Richard sighs, "I understand that you're angry, but I'm offering..."

"Really?" Derek interrupts again. "You lost your sight, your career and your life as you knew it at forty-one?"

Richard sighs again and says nothing.

"There's no way you could possibly understand my anger or anything else about my situation! Don't insult me by offering me half a job!"

Derek got up and started to carefully move toward Richard's office door. He stopped when Richard said, "I want you to work with Meredith Grey."

Derek stood still for a few moments trying to process that tidbit of information. Unable to wrap his mind around how that could work - he sighed and left the office and Seattle Grace. Again.

So here he was - four days later and still playing that conversation in his head. The one he'd had in the hall with Meredith was also in his head. The two conversations were on constant repeat in his head. He'd felt an instant click with Meredith. She made him smile. He'd laughed at her rambling admiration. He'd been arrogant and he'd actually flirted with her. She'd made him feel like a normal man again.

Thinking about Meredith made Derek angrier. He'd felt something toward her - something normal. Something he'd almost forgotten - attraction. The attraction made him angry but it also made him sad because he knew nothing could ever come of it.

And yet - he wondered. He wondered if he could somehow work as a doctor again. He wondered about Meredith and her adorable giggle. He wondered if it was possible to live a fulfilling life again.