The Seventh Sense is Love

What Ifs

"What's wrong?"

Meredith was aware of her sister asking the question, but she didn't have an answer for her. So, she sat there, staring off into space, pushing her food around on her plate.

Lexie looked at Cristina - urging her to say something. Cristina cleared her throat and then asked, "Are you feeling sick again?"

"Huh?' Meredith asked and blinked - trying to focus.

"Sick. Are you feeling sick from your pregnancy again?"

"No," Meredith sighed and forced herself to take a bite of the salad in front of her. Just because she was worried about Derek didn't mean everyone else had to worry about her, too. Her food tasted like crap - a lot of mushy nothing - but she finished it along with a bottle of water.

"Where's Derek?" Lexie asked.

"I don't know."

"He's here today," Cristina said. "I sat in on his lecture this morning."

"He always eats lunch with you on the days he's here," Lexie stated.

"Well, apparently he had better plans today," Meredith snapped and got up to leave the cafeteria alone.

"Are they fighting?" Cristina asked Lexie.

"I don't know," she answered. "Something is definitely wrong, though."

"Hey," Mark said from the doorway of the conference room. "What's up?"

"Can you take me home?" Derek asked, sounding grouchy.

"Are you and Meredith fighting?" Mark asked with a concerned frown.

"No," Derek answered and heaved a sigh.

Mark moved to sit at the table with Derek and asked, "What's going on? You're in a pissy mood, your wife looks like crap."

"What?" Derek asked sharply, snapping his head up.

"She's beautiful," Mark laughed, "but she's pale today and moping around. Which is completely different from last week when she was biting you in the on-call room."

Derek didn't laugh or show any reaction to the fact that his best friend was on to him and Meredith using the on-call room for sex. He sat in his chair, tense and looking like he wanted to break something. Mark stared at him for several silent moments and then finally heaved a giant sigh as he realized what was going on. "I'm sorry, Derek."

"Why, because you can tell me my wife is beautiful?"

"Yes," Mark said simply. "Also, because it's been so long since you've had a pity party about being blind that I didn't realize you were having one. I wouldn't have said what I did."

"I know," Derek replied and ran his hands over his face in agitation. "I also know I'm being a self-absorbed prick right now, but I really hate -" he broke off with a loud sigh and shoulder shrug.

"You hate that you can't see Meredith. And you hate that you won't be able to see your child."

"Yes. I know I shouldn't get so wrapped up in not having my sight -"

"Why not? It freaking sucks for you but you need to talk to your wife about it. Don't shut her out, Derek. You know Meredith on an appropriately different level than I do but I know how she was before you. She's made of really strong stuff. She's not Addison - she won't leave you because you're having some self-doubt."

"And a pity party," Derek said, giving a very small smile.

"That too," Mark grinned. "Come on - I'll buy you a drink at Joe's. Then if you still want me to take you home - I will."