The Seventh Sense is Love

I've Been Considering...

The next day, as they take a walk together on their property, Derek tells Meredith, "I've been strongly reconsidering Richard's offer to teach at the hospital."

Meredith is shocked to the point that she stops walking and just stares at him. After a prolonged silence Derek says, "You're going to have to give me something to go on here, Mer. I can't tell if your silence is a good or bad reaction."

"That's interesting," she answers cautiously, "because you usually read me with an uncanny accuracy."

"I know," he sighs, "but I'm feeling like a wall just went up between us."

"No," she assures him and takes his hand to start walking again. "There's no wall between us but your statement does come as quite a surprise to me. You were so incredibly adamant about not teaching medicine when the Chief made you the offer last year. What's changed?"

"Everything," he answers, a bit more gruffly than he intended.

Meredith gives a small laugh and asks, "Will you elaborate on 'everything'?"

"You know," Derek snaps and pulls his hand free from hers, "if you don't want me to do this - just say so!"

"What? No, that's not it at all, Derek. In fact it's quite the opposite!"
Derek stops and turns back to her, an angry scowl on his face, "You certainly fooled me with your lackluster reaction."

She reaches out and takes his hand in hers again. She's encouraged when he doesn't pull away from her. "I don't mean to seem unenthusiastic..."

"You're hesitant," he interrupts.

"Are you going to let me finish speaking?"

"Finish," he grumbles and she has to bite her cheek to keep from laughing at his sulkiness.

"I know you miss me when I spend hours and days at the hospital. I miss you too and on a completely selfish note I'd be thrilled to have you work and teach at the hospital because I wouldn't have to be away from you so much. So what I'm wondering is this: Are you reconsidering the offer because you miss me or because you really miss medicine?"

"Are you questioning my integrity?"

"No," she sighs in frustration. "Derek, it's a valid question and I'm sure the Chief is going to ask you the same thing."

He was quiet for so long she didn't think he was going to answer. Finally he replies, "It's equal..."

"Derek..."

He turns to her, smiles and says, "It's my turn to talk now."

"Fine," she replies with a giggle.

Derek leans down to quickly kiss her on the lips and then says, "It's true that working together would be a great perk. We certainly wouldn't miss one another as much but I really do miss practicing medicine. Everything has changed since Richard made the offer last year, Meredith. I believe in life again. I know I won't be able to cut but I feel like I can make a difference by teaching what I know. I also realize I won't be needed at the hospital all the time, but something is better than nothing. So, my motivations for wanting to accept Richard's offer - you and medicine - are equal. Of course, I don't know if the offer is still available."

"Why wouldn't it be? You have just as much to teach now as you did a year ago."

"Who knows if Richard will be accepting of the fact that you're as much a part of my motivation to teach as medicine. And you know, I'm arrogant enough to admit that I want a hand in teaching you what I can about medicine, Mer. You come home and study and talk about procedures with me. You have a brilliant medical mind, you know."

"Thank you," she answers, actually blushing a little. Hearing the pride in her husband's voice is the best professional compliment she's ever received. "What if the Chief says you can teach me from home and he doesn't have to pay you?"

Derek laughs, "You know him rather well."

"He's a Doctor, but he's also an administrator and he's going to think of the financial side of it. I'm sure your medical expertise doesn't come cheap."

"True and my answer would be that I'll be teaching more people than just you. Plus, there's a multitude of resources available at the hospital that aren't available here."

"You've really thought this through."

"I have," he answers, squeezing her hand. "I wanted to talk to you about it before I approach Richard."

"It'll work out," she states confidently.

"I hope so," Derek answers.