To the Shadowsinger | Azriel

Chapter 65: Perspective

 Harani always tried to do the right thing. When she was younger, she thought there was only ever one "right thing" but as she grew up she learned that everyone's right thing was different. For her father, the right thing was doing whatever it took to support the family- even if it meant enslaving humans. For her mother, the right thing was making sure her children grew up to be respected by society- even if it meant selling her youngest daughter. It was all about perspective. 

The right thing for Harani was doing whatever she could to make her child happy. Before his birth, she thought her purpose was to aid the rebellion against the monarchy and free the humans in the faerie land. Now, her son comes first and the rebellion comes second. It may sound like the selfish thing to do but she was a mother, of course her child came first.

It was for the sake of her child that she stabbed Wylla. It was the only way or else Sinna would have her wraiths kill him. Sinna had told them if they played by the rules, he would live but she was the biggest liar of them all. She hid behind her childish demeanor and took whatever she wanted, it's why the monarchy tied her down with a contract. A previous king forced a contract on her, one like a blood oath, but tied Sinna to the King's descendants as well.

Raisa was the last of her blood, the last that could command Sinna; if she were to die or never return from the mirror, Sinna would be free. To Sinna, the right thing was doing whatever it took to accomplish her freedom- even if that meant killing a child or two. Sinna was ordered by Caius not to hurt Wylla but that didn't mean Sinna couldn't persuade Harani to do it with a threat.

Harani knew this was coming. She knew Sinna well enough to know that she wouldn't miss the opportunity for freedom. The lightsinger must have been afraid to hear that Wylla could bring the queen back; she had threatened Harani as Wylla tried to calm down before they left for the mirror. You will kill the girl before she assists the Queen out of the mirror or your son will die.

What Sinna didn't know though, was that Harani was two steps ahead of her. After Harani heard about Sinna taking her son, she went to one of the only fae she knew capable of lulling a wraith to sleep.

Harani couldn't wait any longer though, she knew Wylla was close to getting the queen out of the mirror and she couldn't let that happen while Sinna still had her son. Sinna wouldn't even hesitate to snap his neck if she saw Raisa wake up from the mirror. Harani prayed she wasn't too late. Gods, please do me this one favor. Keep my son safe. A mother should never have to suffer the pain of losing her child, she would take her own life if anything happened to him. She couldn't handle that loss, he was her baby, the greatest joy in her life.

Her hands trembled around her blade as she slipped it from her belt. She didn't want to do this but she couldn't let Wylla get the Queen out. She cast her eyes down as she entered the room and followed the sounds of Wylla's mumbles.

Harani hadn't known Wylla long, but she felt a deep sadness for her. Wylla had no family left, she was just a child with the weight of the world on her shoulders. The burden Wylla picked up and carried was something no child should know. Harani thought this as she cried, "I'm so sorry."

In her century of life, she had never stabbed someone. The blade had been her husband's accessory and now it was hers- only, she'll actually use it.

"I'm so sorry, Wylla," The little girl didn't move as she pressed the tip of the blade to her stomach.

I can't do this. I can't, but then she thought about Sinna ordering her wraiths to tear apart her son limb by limb. At least she could give Wylla an easy death. For Harani, this was the right thing for her to do.

The blade passed through Wylla as if she were made of air rather than flesh and bone. Harani had to look down to believe that she had actually done it. The blade stopped at the hilt. It was only when Harani pulled the blade out did the blood start to spread.

Wylla let out a small gasp but her eyes were far away, looking through Harani. It wasn't until Harani shoved the knife through her a second time, did Wylla stumble forward, her hands going to the wound.

Harani must have blanked out. She was talking but she wasn't sure what she was saying. Her body reacted with panic while her mind sat back, completely detached and in disbelief that she had actually done it. Wylla was crying and pleading for Raisa to help her but all Harani could think about was never seeing her son again. This was for him- this horrible thing she was doing.

Something finally snapped in Harani as Wylla started to wail for her mom. It was the motherly instinct to defend and protect a child, but Harani had to remind herself that this wasn't her child. Her child was awaiting death if Harani didn't do this. A fit of hysterics took over Harani.

The light plucking of a lute had Harani's body relaxing. The blade slipped from Harani's grasp and rang as it hit the ground. Harani closed her eyes and smiled through the tears.

"Your son is with Nona," Chaaya continued to play a gentle melody that slowed Harani's heart down to a peaceful rhythm.

"Thank you," Harani wasn't sure if she could move. Wylla wasn't moving anymore. Harani had waited as long as she could for the news from Chaaya but she feared if she waited too long, Wylla would have gotten the Queen out of the mirror. What have I done?

Harani looked through the door to see Chaaya's grim expression. She knew her friend understood why Harani would do such a horrible thing but that didn't mean Chaaya wasn't saddened by what her friend did to a little girl. Harani had gone to Chaaya and Nona after she found out Sinna took her son. The two females had held Harani as she cried and explained what she feared she would have to do.

Nona had kissed the top of Harani's head, "We know you would tear this world apart for the ones you love. You'll do what you must."

But there was so much blood. Blood all over Wylla, blood spreading on the floor and kissing the hem of her dress, blood on her hands, even blood on her face from when she had absentmindedly touched it.

A sharp note from the lute snapped Harani out of her stupor. "You were in shock," Chaaya toed the threshold to find she couldn't pass. She held her head down, a crease formed between her brows, "Come on, let's go before Caius comes looking for us."

"I-" Harani looked down at the unmoving Wylla. The girl's faint heartbeat was the only thing that told her she was still alive. She's still alive.

"No!" A high pitched scream rattled through the castle. It was so painful, Harani covered her ears and shrank to the ground just as broken glass pelted into her flesh. As the scream died, Harani looked up to see a face of rage that curdled her blood.

Queen Raisa was awake. Awake and in a rage because of what Harani had done. "What did you do."

For the first time since they met, Harani was afraid of her Queen. And she had every reason to be. 

A/N: I haven't posted anything since last year and it feels like its been FOREVER so I'm sorry about that but love you all for your patience. I ended up writing six new chapters around New Years and then hated how it was going. I cringed at my own writing and ended up re-doing the chapters and I am much happier with where it is going now. So, that's why I've been away for a hot minute. I'll be posting more chapters tonight. Enjoy<3