To the Shadowsinger | Azriel

Chapter 50: Optimist

"A mirror?" Wylla asked the scary monster in her dream. After finding out from Nyxous that Azriel had left without saying goodbye, she threw a bit of a tantrum, cried, and fell back to sleep. She didn't say it aloud, but she was afraid that she would never see Azriel again. Just like she would never see her family again...

"Yes, I call it the Ouroboros," the monster, who Wylla learned was named Bryaxis, filled her cup with more tea and sugar.

"Or-ro-boo-roos?" She stumbled over the name.

"Ouroboros."

"Ah-bros?"

Bryaxis sighed, "close enough. You see, Raisa got stuck inside the mirror because she couldn't decide whether to accept her demons or end her life because of her demons. She'd rather run from them or even pretend that they never happened. She also can't acknowledge that she, herself, is a monster."

"Azriel's mate isn't good?" Wylla asked, slowly sipping the tea he offered her. She didn't like the idea of Azriel having a bad mate, he deserved someone that was nice.

"Raisa... isn't the most truthful," Bryaxis shook his head. "A very long time ago, she did something that hurt a lot of people. She never admitted to doing it but it caused most of the problems in her life. It is also the reason she doesn't use her powers to their fullest potential."

Wylla hesitated to ask what Raisa did. By the time she opened her mouth, Bryaxis was speaking again.

"When she finally did release her powers, she broke the Ouroboros and lost her chance of escaping it," the creature almost looked sad. "To come out with your mind whole, you have to go through one piece. But with the mirror shattered, her mind would break into as many pieces of glass as the broken mirror if she tried to come out."

It all made sense in Wylla's head. It made her think of a cheese grater; Raisa's mind was the cheese and the mirror was the grater. She shivered at the idea, but then she thought of something her mother had told her.

"My mom told me that a broken mirror isn't anything to be upset about because now you have a hundred new mirrors. They're just little baby mirrors with rough edges." She smiled at the memory: Wylla turning to look at her mom after dropping the hand mirror her Aunt Lysandra had given her. Instead of getting upset like Wylla thought she would, her mom made sure she wasn't hurt and simply cleaned up the broken pieces.

"She sounds like an optimist"

"She wasn't really," Wylla shrugged. "She just had other things to worry about besides a broken mirror."

"Well, I doubt your world had any special mirrors like my Ouroboros," the creature took a sip of his tea.

"Actually, my world had mirrors that could shoot cities by making witches explode," Wylla hoped she had remembered that correctly. She used to zone out whenever her father and his friends talked about the war.

Wylla woke up and like most dreams, she couldn't remember how it began or ended, but she clearly remembered the middle. She knew what she had to do.

She didn't make a sound as she rolled out of Nyxous' bed. She froze when he stirred but he didn't wake up. For a moment, she just studied his face. His eyelashes were long and dark, his freckles were like stars, and his hair made her want to play with it every time she saw it. She wished that she could say goodbye but she knew that if he woke up, he wouldn't let her go.

She left him a note. One that promised him that she would be back as soon as possible. One that promised she would always return to him no matter what.

She ended the note: You're my best friend, Nyxous, and I would never want to make you sad but I also don't want Azriel to be sad. I'm going to help him. Love, Wylla Moonbeam.

The sun was setting by the time Wylla found Azriel in Vallahan. She was proud of herself as she watched the spymaster land on a balcony and enter through open doors. That pride was short-lived as she realized Azriel was going to be mad at her for following him.

Win some, lose some, she reminded herself. She was perched on a statue in her owl form, trying to work up the courage to approach Azriel. He wasn't exactly scary to her but she was scared of disappointing him. Hopefully she was right with her theory because not only would she be in trouble for coming but she would have gotten Azriel's hopes up only to run his mate's mind through a cheese grater. Now she was even more worried than before. That would be horrible.

Seeing Azriel fly onto the roof above the room snapped Wylla out of her worries. What are you doing? He just sat on the roof, looking like a kicked dog. She felt bad for thinking it but he looked a bit rough and in desperate need of a shower. As his apprentice, she would make sure he cleaned up a little before his mate saw him again.

Unless, of course, Raisa's mind gets shredded like a block of cheese.

In the blink of an eye, Azriel was gone. Wylla scolded herself for thinking about the cheese again and worked up the courage to fly to the balcony railing. She was closer to where she knew Azriel had winnowed, that was progress at least.

The sound of Azriel's voice breaking made Wylla frown. He just kept saying the same thing over and over again. Rai, Rai, Rai. Fearing that he would start crying, Wylla shifted out of her animal form, covered her mouth with her hand, and quietly edged her way closer until she could see through the curtains.

For four years, Wylla had spent almost everyday with Azriel. He wasn't the warmest nor most nurturing person but something about him made Wylla feel safe. It was scary being in a different world and not only that, she missed her friends and family so much that for months she had to hide her tears. She was most worried about her mom.

A mother should never suffer the pain of losing a child, Wylla remembered her mom saying. I don't think I could live if I ever lost you or Connall. Wylla prayed every single night that her mother was okay. She prayed someone was watching over her mom and making sure that she didn't give up hope.

Her mom wasn't the only one Wylla prayed for, she prayed for Azriel's happiness as well. Maybe it was true about her Aunt Aelin destroying the Gods, but Wylla had spent most of her life feeling followed. Like someone was watching over her shoulder. Wylla believed that she had a Goddess watching over her just like her Aunt Elide had Anneith, but ever since she came to this world, Wylla felt like she was alone. Azriel had given her the feeling of someone always watching over her. He was a quiet presence that brought her comfort.

Right now, all Wylla wanted was to be there for him like he was for her these past four years. She wanted to see him happy; that's what she was thinking as she watched Azriel cradling his unresponsive mate in his arms. Wylla knew that when his face turned as stiff as it was, he was working to hide his emotions. It was one of his tells.

She listened in as Azriel and the female helping him started talking. Another one of his tells: he got other people talking so they were too busy thinking about themselves to focus on him.

Wylla slipped into the shadows of the room as Azriel kissed the top of his mate's head. He said, "I'm thankful that I get to see her. I'll get her out of here, take her somewhere safe, then I'll come back and take care of my end of the deal."

No no no, not a good idea, Wylla thought. If Raisa's mind was here, she shouldn't be moved to the other side of the world.

"I think that's a good idea," the other female said. "Find some healers that work with the mind and help her get better."

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Wylla held back a satisfied smirk at the sight of Azriel clearly being shocked she was there. Her satisfaction sank as her eyes fell to his mate's face. She could see the fae clearly now and she knew, without a doubt, that his mate was the one Wylla had seen in her dreams. That gave Wylla the hope that she was in this world for a reason.

Finally, it was all starting to make some sense.