Karma's A B**** (Suicidal Deku AU)

Chapter 19: The Four Stages of Grief And Then Finally Acceptance

The five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining depression and finally acceptance. These are the emotions that someone goes through once they lose someone, and are, well, grieving.

Now Izuku is going through them, but he's stuck in a loop between the first four stages. He can't seem the get past the fourth stage and move on to acceptance.

Stage 1- DENIAL-

Izuku could not believe that Katuski's death was not his fault. It had to be his fault! There was no other explanation for his death, yet everyone else had said otherwise. He was in severe denial, no matter who told him that it wasn't his fault, that being his mother, Katuski's parents, his teachers, or even his therapist, no one could change his mind. He was set on it being his fault.

Stage 2-ANGER-

Whenever someone would tell him that Katuski's death was not his fault, he'd lash out. He'd scream, yell, fight and resist the urge to hurt himself, but sometimes he'd succeed. His mom would cry every night due to Izuku's screams and yells. Izuku would emotionally hurt and would try to hurt his mom due to this.

Stage 3-Bargaining-

Now this is where many odd things would happen. Pro heroes would go up to him and try to console him, again anger came out. Until one day he finally met the one and only, All Might. As always he repeat the same exact actions, but this time was different. All might came back, every. Single. Day. He found out where Izuku lived and would show up at his door to propose a deal to make Izuku stronger. He confessed about his secret and made a tempting offer, to give Izuku his quirk. But as always, Izuku refused. He'd shut the door in the other's face. This was a cruel joke. There's no way he'd believe an old man.

But a part of him wondered, what if All Might was telling the truth? The temptation grew, but Izuku never gave in...not yet anwyays.

Stage 4-Depression-

Yeah, we know this part. He'd cry, hurt himself, try to attempt, blah blah blah blah, we know what happens.

-Repeat-
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, repeat.

Izuku was stuck in this endless loop for months. He decided to go to an ordinary highschool because U.A was out of the picture. It had been months since Katsuki had died. It was hard for Izuku to reach acceptance.

As always, All might came to his front door, and this time, instead of slamming the door in his face, Izuku actually stood there until the other finished his speech, he stood there giving a soft smile, dark eye bags standing out, eyes drained of energy, god he looked awful. Maybe it was the sleepiness, maybe it was involuntary, maybe it was inevitable, but without thinking, Izuku asked All Might to come into his home and they both sat down on the couch. Izuku looked at the older, sighed and said only 15 words. Words that would change his world, his life.

"You don't have to ask anymore. I've made up my mind, I accept your offer."

Finally....

-STAGE 5-ACCEPTANCE-

Izuku Midoriya, finally, god finally, he finally accepted the offer, he finally decided to move on, he FINALLY decided it was time to get better. All these months of torture, of being in an endless loop of the first 4 stages of grief, he's finally done. It's time to get better.

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Whoops,

Now that was a mistake, well maybe.
It was AWFUL. Maybe he regretted saying yes because the amount of exercise he has to complete is astonishing. Him being so skinny, scrawny and terribly weak was biting him in the ass. He got injured everyday due to the amount of exercise. He was forced on a diet to help him gain weight and everything was monitored by his mother and all might. If Izuku even tried to throw up or he tried to give up and sneakily throw away his food, he'd be immediately caught and punished by getting more exercise added into his routine.

Months went by and Izuku regained more than the weight he lost originally. It was incredible from how healthy he was physically. He finally gained All might's quirk and thus started his training with the quirk. He ended up with broken legs, arms, fingers, etc., but he still kept trying and going on, slowly, training and having a quirk was all that was on his mind, he was getting better, he was no longer grieving. He was finally okay, he was happy!

Yes,

Happy :)

For the first time in ages he was happy. Happy. Happiness came so strongly and it couldn't be taken away from him. Genuine happiness in his heart couldn't be broken, he was over the moon. He was so happy he actually improved with his training and All Might offered to exchange him to U.A next school Year! God this made him happier, he could cry from this. This was his dream since childhood, everything he could ever imagine or wish for was finally here. He was just so happy.

Months pass and finally time for U.A entrance exam, and as expected for Izuku, he passed! He got into class 2-A (AUTHOR'S NOTE: BRO I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF THEYRE CALLED CLASS 1-A STILL, I HAVENT PROGRESSED FROM SEASON 3) , and is having a blast, he made loads of friends, such as these three boys named Shoto Todoroki, Tenya Ida, Eijiro Kirishima, and this girl named Ochaco Uraraka. This friend group was amazing and made Izuku even more happier!
Izuku was happier than ever before, being in his dream school, having his dream friends, and having the quirk of his favorite hero, and being friends with his favorite hero! This was amazing.

Though something did upset him about his friend group. Kirishima reminded him too much of Katuski, especially during the time Katsuki was trying to made amends and was being nice to Izuku. Kirishima was just like him, like a clone copy. It frightened Izuku. Maybe this school wasn't perfect, it was confusing and scary.

But soon the harsh reality came crumbling down on Izuku, the reason why the thought of Kirishima being similar to Katsuki was terrifying, was because he was seeing Kirishima as the version he wanted Katsuki to be when growing up and was seeing him as a replacement. It made him sick to his stomach.

Slowly, the feelings of guilt came back, grief was creeping up on him, sadness was blooming in his heart.

There he was,

Slowly but surely,

Izuku was feeling it, grief, denial, anger, bargaining and depression.

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Izuku was returning back to the four stages of grief, he never truly reached acceptance.

——CHAPTER 19, COMPLETED——
Literally have zero motivation to finish this story so that's why I'm taking forever to update 🤭 anyways next chapter is the last one so I'll try to make it huge😨 I finally have motivation to write but since it's the final, I will take a while, hopefully it's out in a week or so