Guide To Shifting

|| Shifting Update ||

As you probably know, I have shifted before but only for a few seconds and it was not in the reality I wanted to be in. That was months ago, and now it feels as if it was only a vivid dream. Almost like it never happened. 

Im starting to lose hope. With this being said, I still fully believe in shifting and I am NOT giving up on it what so ever. I just feel less connected with it as I did before. I don't feel as in tune with that reality anymore, as if it doesn't exist. I don't think about it as much and it's almost like I can feel it not there anymore, you know? Like before, I could sense that that reality existed and was going on, not anymore. It's as if it's vanishing on me, which makes me sad to think of. I don't really feel a connection with any of the characters anymore. Of course I still love Draco (and Hermione, and Ron), with all my heart, I always will. But I just don't feel myself as obsessed with him anymore, I don't wake up every day praying to shift because I need him. In a way, I guess that's a good thing, it's a good thing to not be dependent on a fictional character. So in a way, I am proud of myself; I am learning to love the reality in which I was born in. But I am not ready to give up on the characters in Harry Potter. I love them with every piece of my heart and I want to meet them so bad; I want to have a life with them, just not as much as I did before. Months in the past I found mself basing every single thing in my life on them. And almost everything in my life was about shifting or to prepare me for shifting, it's all I thought about. Now, I am more focused on my life, I am more in tune with what I want in this reality and how I will achieve it. Now, I want to learn to love this reality and make it the reality in which I want to be in. Whereas before, I hated this reality and only wanted to be at Hogwarts (dont get me wrong I still REALLY want a life at Hogwarts). I was fully dependent on the thought of Draco deeply in love with me. And of course, that remains a wonderful thought, I just think about it less, and it doesn't give me as much stability anymore because my subconscious knows its not true. 

When I first started learning about shifting and trying it out for the first times, I was totally in love with the idea and would do everything possible to get to Draco. But not so much anymore. I find myself never doing real methods other than repeating "I will shift" while falling asleep, and then eventually giving up because I cant fall asleep. Again, I guess this is a good thing because I should be falling in love with my real life not the one that exists solely in my head, right? But I cant let go quite yet, I can't just stop believing in my ability to shift. Because I know I can. And I know I am not giving up because I try almost every night. I just don't put as much effort into it, which just for the record, you dont have to try super hard to shift, it literally takes no effort. I just wish I had the same mentality about shifting that I did in September and October. I got really close those months. Whereas I haven't got close for a long time. I don't know what to do, I dont want to give up, I need them, I need Draco, I just don't know what to do. 

This isn't a cry for help, I just wanted to update you guys. And I was originally going to put it in my shifting diary but I thought it would more sense to go here.