The Way You Hurt Me

Chapter Seven

My tongue feels like sandpaper scraping across the roof of my mouth. The last time my mouth was this dry was the day after my twenty-first birthday. A month ago, Kelly, Ronnie, and Maeve came to visit me at home in New Jersey right before the semester started. They stayed for a week to do nothing but get me shit-faced wasted and that's exactly what they did. I was puking my guts up before we had even made it out. Thankfully, my mom stayed with her boyfriend that night and has no idea about the terrors I unleashed into my toilet that night.

I open my eyes and for a moment I'm frozen in place, confusion racking through my body at my surroundings. It takes me another moment to realize this is Josh's room and I'm in his bed. And that's most definitely his arm wrapped around my waist.

I start scouring my memories from the night before and they quickly fall together. I think the only thing that's keeping my memories back is the fact I'm so shocked by everything that happened last night I'm doubtful my memories are real. Josh and I made so much progress, I don't think I've ever been so astonished in my life.

My heart starts aching, thinking about what happened to his parents, what he had to live through. What he continually lives through every day of his life.

I want to turn over and look at him, but I'm afraid I'll wake him up and I have no idea what to say to him if he wakes up right this second. My brain is still trying to process all the information I learned last night.

I start wondering if he has a sibling. Seems doubtful, but my heart is dying for him to have one person left, one person out there who can give him true unconditional love that family members give. I wonder some more if he's got extended family members or if he is, truly, alone.

And then I remember that my mouth is still a desert and my organs are begging me to hydrate. I start looking around the room for my water bottle and find it on Josh's night table. How in the world did it manage to get there? I can't even remember what I did with it after I walked in here.

I grab my blue water bottle and chug back half of it, my eyes looking around the room for my missing chips. I find them on the floor by the door. I must've dropped them when I went after the books.

I set my water bottle back on the table and scoot back into the position I was in before.

Josh's hand is laying right in front of my chest and I move my hand to cover his, needing to feel him even more; needing to touch him as if in confirmation that he is still here and okay.

Josh starts shifting behind me, the front of his body pressing up against the back of mine.

I let out a startled breath. I never would've expected Josh to feel this good and my drunken state last night somehow wasn't able to do this feeling justice. It's so much better than I remember.

"Rena?" Josh's voice is a hot breath caressing over my neck. His voice is thick and deep with sleep.

I grip his hand tighter when I realize there's some hesitation in his tone. My goal is to completely get rid of his unsureness and make him feel confident in his actions and feelings.

I slowly turn over to face him, keeping his arm wrapped around my midsection. My forehead aligns with his mouth and his lips briefly brush across my skin. I hold in my shudder as I snuggle up to him more. "Morning, Josh," I say into his chest.

"Morning, Rena." His hand travels to rub against my back and I sigh into him. Now, this is something I could get used to. My head almost jerks when I remember he told me he gets night terrors.