destin {Deku x Reader}

part 16

a/n hello all i just want to say major major trigger warning on this chapter for self harm, if triggered easily come back in 2 days or scroll to the next chapter. It is in no way shape or from my intechon to romanticize self harm. Is it not something to be normalized and if you do it please talk to someone.

Trigger warning self harm

You layed in bed looking at the selling you've been in the dorms for a week now all you could think about was your trauma.

You used to self harm to cope with your parents death you hadn't since attending UA but the recent advents with the league of villains made you want to relapse.

You sat up trying not to give in to the temptation. It was about 10:30 and the dorms were silent.

You knew you still had the things you used but you didn't want to break that promise to yourself it was just hard.

Your head felt like it was pounding your arms and mined wanting the relief of pent up pain you wanted to transfer the mental pain to physical.

You got up and opened the bag holding your blades you took one out and using all your pain and all the heaviness in your heart you cut, you felt relief.

You were guilty you broke the promise to yourself but you didn't know what else to do. You already tell Deku so much you can burden him with everything.

You cut until the pain faded, sudeley you heard a knock on your door. "Hey y/n you there" you hear Dekus' voice say "oh ya just give me a second '' you say putting a stack of notebooks over the blood on the desk. You put your sleeve down and wince opening the door. "y/n, you ok?" he says seeing the distress on your face.

"Oh ya I'm fine" you say smiling. "y/n answer me honestly... now" he said sternly. He looked at you and saw your sleeve was bloody. You looked up and your eyes met. He had the same look in his eye when he was fighting villains.

"y/n show me your arms" he said sounding nothing like himself.

"No deku, stop overreacting I said I was fine"

He closed the door and pushed you to a wall pinning you to it. He forcefully pushed up your left sleeve and looked at your arm. "Deku I-" you started

His demeanor changed, he unpinned you and walked into your bathroom. He grabbed the first aid kid and walked back to you.

You were just standing there tears in your eyes you haven't moved an inch he pushed you onto your bed. Without saying a word he pushed both of your sleeves up and looked at the old and new cuts.

He opened a rubbing alcohol pad just had he was about to clean your arm you say "Deku no it hurts" "well maybe it fucking should why in the world, how log why didnt you talk to someone" he says

Deku was mad at you for not telling him for not talking to him but he was but he was hurt that you had to hurt yourself.

You had cuts on both your wrists from past occasions but you only had new ones on your left.

"Look, I'm cleaning it no matter you like it or not," he said with a stern voice. He held his other hand out "you can hold my hand but I'm doing it" he said with a softer voice.

You took his hand and he rubbed the alcohol pad on your wrist making you wince and a tear roll down your face.

"See it's not that bad" he said now in a soft tone.

You looked to the side crying you can't bare to look him in the eyes. You were about to say something until you felt pressure on your arm.

You looked over and saw Deku kissing your arm. You were still holding his hand as you kissed the scars and new cuts on your arms.

He stopped and looked at you, "y/n I love you, and i'm here for you always, these scars are just indications of how much you've betten. Because you're strong and you've had to fight so much in life it's not fair but i'll be here for the rest of the way" he says smiling up at you.

You started crying still not wanting to look him in the eye he grabbed your chin "look at me dammit" he said pulling your face to look at him. You sukced up your embarrassment and pain and looked at him "I love you goddammit" he said with tears in his eyes.

"I love you too" you say crying.

he kissed your arm again and looked up at you "beautiful" he said he kissed your arm again in a different spot "perfect" he said this went on for a while you were balling your eyes out at this point.

After Deku felt he had done enough he got up and kissed your lips. He pulled you down onto your bed and wrapped his arms around you.

You had your head in his chest with his chin on top of your head, his arms wrapped around your waist.

"I can't let you hurt yourself anymore so in the morning your gonna show me where you keep your tools and I will discarded them, your also going to check in with me everyday and talk to me about the things hurting you. I love you but i won't let you hurt yourself" he says in a nice but serious tone. "Ok deku I love you too" the both of you fell asleep.