Are we really living?//TWD

EIGHTEEN

So eventually the vans engine stopped working or blew out, I didn't really care about the details. We've been walking on the road for 3 weeks, we are all hungry, dehydrated, and utterly exhausted.

Well it's been 20 days but close to 3 weeks, I've been marking tally's on a small piece of paper and a red crayon.

Well I ate a dog, 2 weeks ago and when I pulled hot sauce out of the front pocket of my black jeans everyone went silent and stared at me.

I haven't eaten in almost a week cause I've been giving my rations to Carl, since I haven't been eating or drinking water I don't really have any breast milk for Judith and that hurts me that she's starving.

The scorching hot sun is beaming down on all of our backs as we walked the road, I'm pretty sure I have blisters on my feet by now.

I haven't taken off my long sleeve shirt even though I'm wearing a tank top under but I've only rolled up my sleeves just a bit why? Because I'm ashamed of my scars.

"Why do you have a limp?" Carol notices my legs and the way they move. It's cause my father was chasing me in the woods with his rifle and he shot me in the back right next to my spine.

"Oh it is nothing I just got shot" I brush off my shoulder, everybody knew I went to the military.

"How long ago was that?" She asks as we're still walking. I'm 29 he did that at 14.

"Uh about 15 years ago" I say truthfully amd little did I know Carol was good at math.

"Your 29 so you were a teen-" She says but I cut her off.

"I am going to look for food and things" I announce to everybody so nobody's worried. I walk to the side of the road where the woods are.

I wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand, good lord it's fucking hot.

"Maybe you wouldn't be so hot if you took off that shirt" Beth's voice rings in my ears.

"No you are not really here Beth, your....your dead ok" I say to nobody. I know I'm going a bit more crazy than I already am.

I feel a bit dizzy and lightheaded, my head is pounding. I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to calm myself.

I hear a twig snap and I pull of my knife, but it was Glenn.

"You okay?" He asks putting a hand on my shoulder. I nod with my lips in a straight line.

"Yeah yes I am ok" I say looking at my shoes, shaking my head.

"You know you can tell us anything-" he says but I swiftly cut him off.

"I am fine alright? I am ok" I say tapping his upper arm. I walk back up to the group in the street and I continue walking.

"I don't even know what time it is" Rick says to someone but I don't know who. I look up at the sun calculating the hours.

"It is about 5 30ish" I say and Rick flinches from my sudden speech.

"How do you know?" He asks scratching his beard. I look at him with my eyebrows raised.

"I am immigrant from a city in Italy that has the highest poverty. I illegally came here, then I got my citizenship. I will have to know time from looking at the sky" I say and he chuckles I think it's the way I worded it.

Now the street we're walking on it's a little town I'm not sure where.

As we are walking I see a tattoo parlor, I kinda want another tattoo but I know it's going to make too much noise.

I start walking towards it, and I feel someone grab my wrist. I look and it's Daryl.

"What are ya doin?" He asks me and I pull my wrist away.

"Relax, I am only getting ink and a needle alright" I say and I pull out my knife as I walked in.

Once I walked in it was dark but the only light was the windows, I tap the door for noise so the remaining walkers would come.

Luckily one walked my way, it's skin on its face was peeling off. It walked towards me snarling, and I scrunch up my nose in disgust.

I go to stab it in it's head but and arrow flys into it's head from behind me. I already knew who it was, I put my knife back in the sleeve.

I open up the cabinets and there's dust everywhere, I pick up the last thing of black ink, it was half way gone.

I put it in my pocket and I scan the counter, and.

Ding ding ding

There's some needles with covers, I look over my shoulder and Daryl in just mean mugging me but he's trying not to make it noticeable.

I look under the counter and there's a big bag of m&ms, I grab them and I stuff them in my pocket.

I start walking out of the parlor and Daryl once again grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"You ok?" He questions and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Yes why?" I ask him back.

"Glenn said that you were talking to someone but nobody was there" he says and my face drops.

"None of you people know shit about me" I say in a demanding voice.

"I know enough that ya don't like it when people see you cry. Ya made me promise that I would've never told anyone" he says and my trauma is none of his business.

"Do you still have ya meds?" He questions and I give him a bitch face.

"What did you just say?" I say in a mutter.

"Did you run out of ya meds?" He asks then caressing my wrist, I immediately pull my arm away from him.

"I have 5 pills left" I say with my eyes darting at him.

"I tryin to look-" he says then I cut him off.

"No! Your not." I say then I storm out back to the group.