Are we really living?//TWD

TWENTY

I lay against a tree as Carl lays his head on my thigh and I stroke his hair. The fire was slowly dying out and everyone sat around it.

I feel around Carl's hair and I feel the braid I put in about 2 months ago, I can't believe he still has it in his hair.

"Do you wish everything was back to normal?" Carl says catching my attention.

I sigh through my nose and I shake my head no.

"Sometimes, but if it was I would not have met you lovely people" I say and I boop his nose. "Then again for the walkers, I wish they never existed I think everybody wishes that" I say looking at the fire.

"I bought a new CD" Frankie exclaims with a smile.

I groan. "You and these CDs, your a horder" I say and she gasps dramatically.

"I am no such thing and besides I love Queen." She says and I groan.

"Which album is it?" I ask her and she reads the front.

"A Night At The Opera." She says and puts it in the CD player.

"Bohemian Rhapsody is on first" she says.

As soon as Carl fell asleep I grabbed my sweater from around my waist and I stuffed it under his head.

I walk out of the woods a bit and I sit on the curb in the street. I look up to the sky, it's so clear and the moon is so big and so bright.

I roll up my sleeves up to my elbows feeling the warm air on my forearms. I feel the scars from the knives and burns.

I close my eyes and let out a breath from my nose, I hear leaves shuffling and I snap my eyes open to see Daryl, I roll my sleeves back down out of habit.

He sits next to me adjusting his crossbow, we both sit in silence for a minute hearing the crickets.

"What did ya mean by you had to get payback?" He asks me and I keep looking forward.

"There is no easier way to say it. I killed him." I say bluntly. He doesn't say anything.

"Do you regret it?" He asks and I turn my head towards him and he looks at me.

"Not one bit. I hate him and I always will" I say with no emotion.

"You can't be that hateful all the time and you know it." Beth's voice rings in.

"I apologize for earlier" I tell him.

"It's alright" he says.

"And I lied." I say and he turns his head towards me wanting an explanation. "I ran out of medication a week ago." I say with full honesty.

"Why didn't ya tell anyone anythin?" He asks.

"Didn't think it would make much of a difference and I didn't want to be un fixable problem." I say and he grabs the side of my head then rests it on his shoulder.

"I hate my dad too. And I'll always hate him" he says as he puts a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"I get why your still wearing that long sleeve even though it's a thousand degrees outside" he says as I stare forward. I sit up and I look at his side profile.

He turns and looks at me and I can't help but smile.

"Why ya smilin?" He questions with a grin growing on his face.

"Nothing I just never realized how much I cared about you until this vary moment" I say and he smiles.

I lean forward and I press a kiss on his scruffy cheek and I lean into his shoulder more.

"Ya really are somethin Ms. Tonya... What's ya last name?" He asks and I chuckle.

"Germanotta" I say and he nods.

"Ya really are somethin Ms. Tonya Germanotta" he says and kisses the top of my head.

"Same as to you Mr. Daryl Dixon" I say and he wraps his arm around my lower back then caresses my hip.