Are we really living?//TWD

THIRTY-FOUR

I didn't get much sleep after that nightmare, maybe 45 minutes at most.

Deanna had came by earlier and told me it's my first day as a doctor but she said I needed to take a shower because, I need to be clean if I do any procedures.

I, of course bitched about it but, I have agreed and promised I would take a shower. But then I remember I had to get naked to take one and that made my insecurities smack me in the face.

Maggie gave me a new set of clothes and they were men's she knew me so well, and she even got me a long sleeve shirt.

To find out I had a lot of stuff in my front pockets like red sunglasses I took from Terminus, needle and ink, an earring, three bullets, and I found Frankie's wedding ring I thought I lost it.

I brushed out my dreads, but my hair is still naturally wavy and poofy, I figured since I'm gonna be a doctor then I can't be walking into the place with dirty dreadlocks.

As I undressed myself, I tried not to think about that I'm naked or my body is just out.

If I could have an orgasm from hot water I would, cause I didn't know how much I missed it until now.

I scrubbed off all of the dirt, sweat, and dry blood. But I'm not shaving because personally, I have a mind set that if the Gods gave me the hair then I should keep it but that's just me.

Once I get done, I grab a towel, wrap myself up, and I walk out of the shower. When I left the shower all the cold air hit my skin, and it felt sharp I might add.

I start getting dressed in a good mood but when I finally look in the mirror with just black cotton underwear on, everything on my body is now prominent.

All of my tattoos are more visible, I almost forgot I had 'DADDY' under my boobs. I can see some pimples along my hairline, my boobs look pretty good if I do say so myself, but the thing I dreaded to look at will never leave my body.

My scars. On my stomach there's slashes from knifes, stab marks, and two bullet wounds. I turn around my back facing the mirror and I look over my shoulder at it.

There's deep scars from my fathers belt buckle, the cane, 4 more bullet wounds, slashes, and I think I have scoliosis.

Wait, my spines crooked? I didn't have scoliosis when I was born. Then I realized that night, he keep kicking me in the sides and stepping on me.

All that damage to my back probably made it look like that.

"Well, hot damn" I said to myself under my breath.

I finished getting dressed, I felt like a bad bitch cause I'm wearing clean clothes and matching underwear and bra.

My hair is down but it dried quickly, I put my hair into a ponytail while I looked in the mirror.

My cheeks looked so bare compared to my neck, more tattoos perhaps? Definitely.

I walk downstairs to the kitchen where, mostly everyone was. It went quiet when I walked into the room, but I went along my way.

I grabbed an apple, from the middle of the kitchen island and while I go to bite into it I look around at everyone.

"What?" I ask then chewing the bite of apple. Is there something on my face? I took a shower to get everything off.

"You just look..." Rick begins but not thinking of the right words.

"Different, a good different" Michonne finishes, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I can still kick all of your asses, except Judith and Carl their too tough for me" I say and everyone laughs, Judith gives me a look while she's in Carl's arms and Carl shakes his head with a smile.