Are we really living?//TWD

THIRTY-TWO

I hummed Bohemian Rhapsody as I painted Lucille's nails a red-like color. I just had found out Lucille was diagnosed with cancer, I know she's gonna fight it.

She's gotten to know Frankie, Ezzy, and my daughter Ophelia she's like one of my greatest friends. She's a very bubbly person, unlike me if you haven't caught that yet.

"Is that Queen I'm hearing?" She asks with a grin and I smirk back. She's starting to loose bits and pieces of her hair, but I do not give one shit.

Her face looks absolutely drained of energy, her face is pale as well as her lips, she's lost a ton of weight.

She's convinced herself that she look terribly ugly, I beg to differ. So I came over to the hospital, like I did 2 days ago but I brought girly crap.

She had asked me and I quote 'what in the horse shit is this?' So I responded with a makeover.

"I always knew you had fantastic taste in music, where's Negan?" I ask her about her husband. He is usually at work but we haven't formally met just a wave or a hello.

"He's at work right now, but why have him when I have you? Your way more talkative than him." She grins and I sarcastically chuckle.

"I'm not really that talkative, but I do like talking to you Lucy" I compliment. I've been calling her Lucy now and she loves it.

"And I like talking to you, Tony" she says and I smile.

I apologized to Maggie over and over again for her having to take care of me, I hate to be a problem for people especially a none fixable. But she told me repeatedly that it wasn't my fault and I shouldn't say sorry for something I can't control.

I obviously couldn't sleep at all last night, I just keeping thinking, all night.

Ezzy would've said 'you always overthink, its bad for your mental health' I didn't know if that was him being serious or him joking cause I have bipolar disorder.

I started my day pretty early, when everyone started to get themselves together for the day I did too.

Deanna said 'explore' around the place, and I kinda feel weird about it. I kinda feel like an alien invading Earth without consent, trust me I know it sounds weird.

I walk outside of the house onto the porch with Rick in front of me. I see a lady walking her dog, and kids chasing each other like there's not one worry in the world.

I might not actually go out and explore considering the looks people are giving me, I usually don't care about other people's opinions but this is hitting way too close to home.

"You comin'?" Rick asks Daryl and he shakes his head no.

"Nah I'm good" he answers. Rick turns his head towards me.

"Are you comin'?" Rick asks me. I don't really know, I mean the people here are very judgemental but on the other hand, I don't

"Yeah sure" I respond and he nods. I walk down the stairs, to the street and immediately a kid, a girl stops running just to stare at me. Rick looks at the kid and at me.

Why do the fucking kids here keep staring at me?

"Does that happen a lot?" Rick asks me and I nod looking totally unbothered.

"Yep. All they do is stare or run away" I respond.

"Are you a drug lord?" The little girl asks and I raise my eyebrows. A drug lord? Is that what I really look like?