Agony of a lost soul - Chuuya x Reader

Chapter 4

You arrive back at the ADA. Everyone looked over to see you pretty much leaning against Dazai to keep yourself upright. After brushing off the glares from everyone, Dazai led you to where you could rest. He sat you down on the bed and you immediately fell asleep. He called for Yosano to bandage your injuries. But he insisted Yosano didn't heal you.

"Why?" Yosano replies.

"Y/N asked me to tell you they didn't want to be healed. They wanted to heal on their own." Dazai says.

After dressing your wounds, Yosano emerged and seemed worried. She went over to Dazai and he looked at her in confusion. She told him she saw several scars along both of your arms. She wasn't sure why they were there. Or how they even got there. But she could tell they had been there for a while. Dazai then headed to where you were and waited for you to wake up. He was going to ask you about the scars.

"How are you feeling?" Dazai asks, seriousness on his face.

"Like shit. I mean like crap." You say.

"How vulgar. Just like Chuuya." He chimes.

"I am noth- Ok I'm a little like Chuuya. We both have an ability we can't control." You respond.

"Well. I came here for one reason. Those scars on your arm, why are they really there?" Dazai asks.

You sighed before answering. "Ok. I guess I wasn't truly truthful when I told you the first time. It's from being tortured. I've been tortured before. On several occasions. That's why they are there." You say, looking down at your trembling hands.

"Ah I see. Well why didn't you say you were haunted by your past. We could've helped you. And why didn't you say you had an ability." Dazai asks.

"Because I didn't want to burden anybody. I've burdened enough people. I've caused so much damage. To myself. The people around me. I have nothing. And I didn't want the people close to me to be hurt too." You reply.

"So that's why you wanted to leave? You wanted some space? Next time go with someone. Then this wouldn't happen." Dazai says.

"But then I wouldn't really be taking time to myself. I can't stand being in this bed. I'm going out." You say, standing up.

"Where?" Dazai asks.

"Dunno. Probably a bar or something. I'll probably get drunk and find my way back home." You respond.

Dazai didn't stop you from leaving. He knew this was going to be bad. Since you and Chuuya were quite similar, he thought you had the same alcohol tolerance as him. He had to do something. But he knew he would be the last person you would want to see when you were drunk. So he decided to ask Kunikida what he should do. Even though he might receive a lecture in return.

"Kunikida~" Dazai said in a sing-songy tone.

"What, Dazai?" Kunikida said, he looked annoyed.

"I need a favour~" Dazai said in the same tone.

"What is it Dazai? I'm busy." Kunikida said, still annoyed.

"So, hypothetically. If a friend of mine decided to go drinking and they most likely had a low drinking tolerance. And I was the last person they would most likely want to see drunk. What would you suggest I do?" Dazai asked.

"Y/N went drinking, didn't they?" Kunikida sighed and rubbed his temples. "Urgh Dazai. Seriously? You couldn't have kept a closereye on them? I'll send Atsushi to go and find them." Kunikida finished.

Your POV:
I left the ADA and started walking the busy streets. I was going to find a bar to drink the day away. But wanted to avoid interaction at all costs. I wanted alone time but knew Dazai had planned to have someone follow me in case something happened. I started thinking about who it might be, then called out a random name.

"Atsushi. You can come out now. I know you're there." I said.

"How did. How did you know I was following you?" Atsushi panicked.

"Oh I didn't. I knew someone was but didn't know who. I knew it wasn't Dazai or Kunikida. So it was either you, Ranpo or Juunichiro. Then I thought Ranpo or Juunichiro definitely wouldn't follow me. Ranpo because he's too busy eating snacks. Juunichiro because Naomi wouldn't let him. So that left you." I said, he was shocked.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing. I just didn't know you were actually paying attention to anyone in the office." Atsushi said.

"Well I'm guessing I'm not gonna be an assistant any longer. After what happened earlier, I'm pretty sure Dazai is gonna try and make me a member." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"How about we head back?" Atsushi questioned.

"Nah. I'm going drinking." I said, noticing Atsushi looked panicky. "Don't worry, I'm of age. I'm 20. I can handle alcohol." I lied about handling alcohol.

"Are you sure?" Atsushi questioned.

"Yes. Didn't Kunikida just tell you to find me? You can tag along if you want. Or you could just wait outside. I don't mind." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"I'll just stay outside." Atsushi replied.

"Ok. But I may take a while." I say.

Me and Atsushi started walking in the direction of a bar I always wanted to go to. I think it's a bar the Port Mafia hang out in, but I'm not sure. It's a bar, nonetheless. I feel bad about lying to Atsushi though. I don't deal with alcohol well. I could have 4 glasses and be drunk. But if I told him that, he'd most likely insist I either went home or back to the ADA.

We eventually arrived at the bar and Atsushi waited outside. I don't think herealises who hangs out in this bar, but I really couldn't care less. I needed to drink the day away. You could say me drinking alcohol is a way for me torelieve stress, even if I end up drunk. I don't like to smoke. I can't stand it. I don't mind other people smoking. A lot of the men who took me did smoke. But I can't stand doing it myself.