EVERMORE ─ marvel ⁷

V. The Powerless Powerful

Chapter Five
Josephine

I knock on Ana's office door, hoping that she's here and not at the hospital. I know she's covering for Livy today, but maybe she's running back and forth between the hospital and the institute. I hear a muffled reply and slip inside, finding her typing something on her computer. She glances at me for a second before refocusing her attention back at the screen. "Jo, is something wrong?"

I shake my head, sitting down on the chair on the other side of her desk. "Can't I just be coming here to hang out?"

Ana raises an eyebrow my way. "Is Dany Boy here with you?"

Ana has warmed up to Daniel probably as much Uncle Bucky. At least Uncle Bucky is better at hiding it. Ana isn't even trying. I nod to her. "Daniel," I put emphasis on his name. "Is dropping off the books we bought at my house. I told him I needed to pay you a visit."

"And he didn't ask any questions about that?"

"He did. He likes you just about as much as you do him, so it took a couple minutes to convince him to let me come here alone."

Ana sits back in her chair and huffs, clearly irritated. "Bit of a hypocrite, but whatever. As much as I love your visits Jo, can you get to the point about what this one is about? You're clearly not here to hang out. You wouldn't on a day Fai is here, so just say or ask what you need to."

"Do you regret taking away your powers?"

Ana stares at me for what fees like an forever, her breathing deep, her eyes narrowed, her body stiff. I can actually see the gears in her brain turning, trying to analyze my words and expression, trying to decipher what the meaning could be.

After an eternity she shrugs. "That's a hard question. My powers weren't like your dad, your aunt, or your cousin's. Everyday was filled with pain, excruciating pain. I don't miss it. But it was hard adjusting to being without my powers. I was so used to shifting, to the heightened senses, to the pain...even now sometimes I'll forget I don't still have them. Why?"

"I don't know." I say quietly.

"Are you thinking about getting rid of your powers?" Ana asks me, her tone now conveying a serious edge to it.

"I don't know." I confess, even quieter.

"Mind telling me how this all started?"

I do, I tell her all the things I told Daniel, including the conversation I had with him, but I go a bit more in depth than I did with him. It's not that I trust Ana more than him, but Ana actually had powers once. She'll understand this situation far better than he ever could. When I finish telling her everything, Ana sits there and lets it all sink in, and she doesn't speak again for a couple minutes.

"John's death wasn't your fault." Is the first thing she says.

Ana has always been one to get to the point, not beat around the bush. She says that statement so factually when it's anything but. I shake my head, feeling tears spring into my eyes. "Yes it was."

"No it wasn't. I agree with Fai that you shouldn't do something out of obligation, that you should do whatever you want to do, but you won't take that advice or anyone else's until you face the real problem. I'm sure you do genuinely want to keep the people you love safe and help people, but the core of all of this is John. That's a wound you haven't let heal, you've just allowed it to fester, rot. I would know, I've allowed my own wounds to do the same thing, because I wanted to be consumed by the pain, because I felt like I deserved it. But Jo, you don't deserve it. John's death wasn't your fault."