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november, 29.
that was the day i wish never existed at the first place, the day where a shameful and useless human being was born into the world.
yeah, it was the date of my birthday.
i always wondering would it feel better if i wasn't born at all?
would it be better for my family sake?
would my parents be happier if it wasn't me?
a desperate sigh escaped my chapped lips since i didn't took a good care of it recently even though i know that i was kinda sensitive with the cold.
the vibrating sounds of my phone snapping me out of my train of thoughts before looking at the caller id and pick it up almost immediately.
it turns out that you were bored and asked me to hang out with you, even after asking you several times where would you bring me you keep saying that i should just see when we were there making me even more curious as we took the train together, meaning that we would visiting a place that was far from where we lived.
we just talked anything that keep popping into your mind which made me wondered, why did you always have something to talk about? why it's so fun being around you? you're like a bouncing ball that can't stay still even just for minutes.
not that i'm complaining though.
i always admiring your pair of [e/c] eyes were twinkling under the light as you keep talking excitedly and how your beaming smile was contagious which made me can't help it but smile no matter how hard i tried to hide it.
without me noticing, we were already out of the train with you walking ahead of me looking around before pointing at your left.
walking side by side with you in silence wasn't awkward at all, instead it's rather comforting as i could heard the birds were chirping happily despite the sun that was started to setting down.
the orange sky were beautiful that day especially when i'm with you.
i sounds cheesy while writing it right? i even let out a small laugh after writing that sentences.
i know i'm not poetic, my words are very simple even though i want to make it even more beautiful with phrase or poetic words.
but hey, at least i try hard for it.
you should be proud of me.
then after minutes of walking with you that day, we were arrived at the hills and surprisingly, it had a magnificent view that i would never thought would be there in this world before you show it to me.
"happy eighteen birthday!"
i never thought you know about my birthday, and never expecting any gift from you.
but just the fact that you spent your time with me and brought me to your favorite secret place or that was what you said was enough to bring me a feeling of joy that i couldn't remember when was the last time i feel it in my birthday.
as the sun were already nowhere to be found, the twinkling stars were beautifully decorating the dark gloom sky as the moon slightly hiding behind the clouds giving it an ethereal beauty for me to seen.
the lake in front of us were reflecting the shine of moonlight despite it being covered by the clouds giving it the effects as if it was sparkling.
as i was getting attached by the the view in front of me, i failed to noticing that you were leaning closer into me as a could feel your soft lips landed on my cold pale cheeks which caught me out of guard before blushing furiously at your sudden bold action.
i remember clearly that i was a stuttering mess that time, doesn't know what to respond it when i could feel a soft warm fabric wrapped loosely around my neck.
"it's a birthday gift, thank you for continue on living!"
