dedicated for you || khun.a.a

her letter

dear my little cute junior aguero.

before i write anything, i would like to apologize for my sloppy handwriting since my hand won't stop shaking for awhile now but no need to worry about it!

you know what? after i heard from my brother that found you inside this same hospital where i had been was enough to make me panicking before i know that you actually got into a really bad accident.

i quickly left my bed and heading towards your room ignoring the nurse and doctor that prohibiting me from moving too much, but i don't care! i just look at you outside the window glass as the doctors were doing their best to keep you alive.

it's been a month since you fell into a coma and there are any sign of you would be waking up soon.

i keep praying to God everyday to not take your life this early since i know that you still have times in this world! you should grow up, reaching your dreams, get married and having kids until your hair turns white!

you know what? you might be mad at me for not telling you this before but, i'm sorry for lying to you, i'm sorry for not replaying any of your messages for months since my condition drastically drop and i end up fell into a long coma.

i'm not entirely lying though since i've tasted a college life for a few moments before my body can't take it anymore.

the real reason for me to move away was to distracting myself from you or the others and getting this treatment from the hospital where my mother's friend worked for.

but it seems that i don't have another chance to live even more longer since no one could cure this deadly disease i had ever since i was 6 years old.

everyone said that it's a miracle that i could stay alive until this day and i'm very grateful for it since i still have the times to paint another beautiful colors inside to fill my blank page.

i was sad.

when i was younger, i keep on crying and asked my parents why did i have to suffer? i didn't want this, i want to keep on living with my family and grow old together.

my parents keep reassuring me that everything would be fine and they would do anything to make me become healthy once again with smile on their faces that always succeed to bring warmth into my chest and trust their words.

i can be cure.

but the moment when i was out of my room, looking for water for me to drink, i caught my mother was crying quietly while my father tried to calm her down.

at that moment, i knew that they tried their best to looks strong in front of me.

and i do the same, i stopped myself for thinking about negative things and just started to enjoy my life while it last since my condition wasn't that bad even though i keep on meeting my doctor once a week.

but other than that, i feel fine.

it was 2 years after the diagnoses, i started to felt my head pounding to the point that i would scream since i couldn't tolerating the pain.

i thought that i was fine already since i keep on meeting with my doctor and getting small treatment but i actually wondering why god give me a little time of life?

at that time when i actually resting on the hospital bed, my thoughts were swirling around me as i keep on chanting that i don't want to die inside my mind and that was the first time i heard a soft melodies that could calm my entire soul.