Speak Up: (Chandler Riggs)

Chapter 26

{Do you ever feel like there's still much to do after something is gone? Something that was your main source of happiness?

Is there stuff you would totally take back but you just can't?

Yeah, definitely.

But I can't. I never can.

Once something is said to someone, it never leaves their mind. Whether it's an I love you or an I hate you, it never goes away.

You call someone ugly, fat, or just a rude name in general, they act like it doesn't seem to bother them one bit. But when they can't fall asleep at night they think about it. "Do they really think that about me?" "That person is my best friend, why would they say something like that about me?"

Maybe that thing you said, gets tossed around and other people begin to say it.

That person begins to believe it. That persons beats them self up over it.

Once that person is gone, you can't take back what you said. You could've been laughing about it then, but now how do you feel?

Remorse. Regret.

I feel those things everyday.}

Bridget's Point of View

Chandler stared blankly at me as him, Kian and I sat in my room on my bed.

"I'm really sorry, again, Bridget." he sighed.

Kian patted my back, "it'll be alright. I promise."

"No, it won't," I mumbled.

"Bridg, yes it will, okay? Everything will be fine," Kian smiled reassuringly.

"You don't understand what I'm feeling right now," I told them.

"We don't. Hell, I can't even imagine being in your place. But we're always here for you," Chandler put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a side hug.

"I just wish everything was different. I-I wish my mom never died, and I wish my dad wasn't insane, and I wish Xavier was still here, a-and I just..." tears began to fill my eyes and I couldn't hold them back anymore. I completely lost it, hysterically crying while two teenage boys sit awkwardly on my bed trying to make me feel better.

"My dad doesn't even care! He just sits down there and drinks!!" I cried.

"Why...why didn't you ever tell anyone about this?" Chandler nervously asked.

I didn't have an answer for him. I wondered this myself, actually. Why haven't I told anyone? Because deep down, I think my dad will one day get better and stop hurting me. I don't want to get taken away, I wouldn't survive. And I was afraid I would've gotten separated from Xavier.

".....I don't know....." I mumbled into the bedsheets.

"Why don't you say anything?" Kian asked.

"I don't know."

"Will you ever?" Kian asked.

"Ugh!" I groaned, "I don't want to talk about this, okay?"

Chandler nodded, his long hair bouncing off his forehead a bit.

Aw, he's so cute.

"Well, I'm getting my braces off tomorrow!" Kian exclaimed, flashing his metal and wire covered smile.

"It's about time, brace face," I laughed while wiping tears from under my eyes.

"How long have you had them?" Chandler asked.

"Since like seventh or eighth grade. My orthodontist refused to take them off!" he told us.

Me and Chandler laughed at his frustration, it's so amusing.

As Kian and Chandler got to know each other a little, I just sat there thinking. He's dead. He's just...gone. I just can't comprehend it, it seems fake. Like a hoax, or the world hates me so much that it decided to take away the one of the things that made me happy. But I decided not to ponder on it. I thought about Chandler and his gorgeous self. Why haven't I taken advantage of that?? He's so cute, but looks aren't everything. He's a fuckboy, I tell you. He's here to pretend to like you, then you fall for him, and then he decides to do something that'll break your heart like make out with another girl. Of course I don't want to believe he does that, but it's true.

Then there's Kian. If him and Kathleen weren't dating, I would totally have a big crush on him. He's just perfect. The way his blonde hair is mixed with different faded dyes kind of just flows perfectly and his bright green eyes dance in the sunlight (wow I'm so corny) just makes him jaw-dropping. And his jawline is oN POINT. But Kathleen is like my best friend and I would never do that to her, ever.

"Remember that, Bridget?" Kian asked, breaking my thoughts.

"Oh yeah, I remember, that was hilarious," I played along. Maybe they'd continue their conversation so I could daydream about them more.

"You have no idea what we're talking about do you," Chandler chuckled.

"Not a clue," I laughed, "I totally zoned out, sorry."

"I was just talking about the time me, you, Ryan and Miranda when on that day trip to Savanna," he explained.

Ryan.

Memories from the party last night flashed into my mind.

He was so drunk he was probably going to rape me if I hadn't stopped what he was doing. But Ryan barely drinks, well, from what I know. I just go off of whatever everyone else says. And they say Ryan barely drinks at parties and he's usually the DD.

"Wasn't that fun?" Kian asked slowly, probably trying to get an answer out of me.

"Yeah, I remember, it was fun. We should do it again," I smiled.

We sat in silence for a long time, just enjoying each other's presences. Chandler may be jerk, but I love spending time with him. We can relate to things and he understand me. Kian is just a great guy who will always be there for you and is there to talk.

I felt a vibration on the bed and a muffled iPhone ringtone. Kian picked up his phone, "it's Kathleen, hold on."
He hopped off the bed and scurried into the bathroom.

Chandler and I eavesdropped on their conversation, giggling quietly because it seemed like Kathleen was getting mad and he was trying to calm her down.

He walked out of the bathroom with a furrowed brow and sighed loudly.

Chandler and I laughed. "What does she want?" Chandler asked in between breaths.

"Yeah I got to go. Forgot we were going to the movies," he said annoyed.

"Have fuuun," I dragged out the U to make it dramatic. He rolled his eyes while putting his shoes on and walking out.

Chandler groaned and stretched his arms and legs. "Tired?" I giggled.

"Ehh," he tilted his head, "I think I'm gonna go though."

"No! Why don't you stay for a little longer, I'll order pizza and we can watch The Walking Dead! There's a new episode," I tried to convince him by whining.

He shook his head.

"Pleeeeaaaase!!" I begged.

He rolled his eyes and took off his shoes. "Fine. Only for a little while."

"Yay!!!" I squealed.

'A little while,' turned into being a whole lot longer than I thought.

_________________________
Author's Note:

hey y'all.

sorry for such a long wait. I had writers block and this isn't even that good lol.

this is just kinda like a filler chapter so they will get exciting!!

hope u enjoyed! don't forget to vote and comment!!