Chapter 1

7.7K 206 183
                                    

{hey so I'm v sorry if these first chapters suck ass but they get better and spicy as they go so keep reading thanks (: xo}

I cried and screamed as I forced the blade into my wrist. Blood oozed everywhere. Onto my shoes, my pants, on the floor.

Everywhere.

It was like a massacre occurred. Again, the blade connected with my wrist. I cried even more. I dropped the blade on the floor as I looked up at the ceiling.

Tears rolled down my face.

I slowly got up and began to clean up the blood. Then I washed my arm. It stung so bad. But it felt good. I needed that. I rolled down my sleeves to cover the bleeding cuts and walked out of the bathroom.

I went into my room and locked my door. I cried once again. I do this when my dad and brother aren't home. I dont have a mom...She was murdered 3 years ago when someone broke into our house.

I was over my friends house and my dad and brother were at his baseball game. She was all alone in that house when it happened. She was stabbed in the stomach, then shot in the head.

My dad and brother were the first to find her, and my brother was traumatized.

Ever since that day, my lifes gone downhill. I moved from New Hampsire to Georgia, the house I grew up in, and especially, my family. I don't see any of them anymore. Ever since my mom died, we didnt keep in touch. All I have is my dad and (sort of) my brother. Hes rude and calls me fat, but I love him.

I transferred to four different schools in three years. I know, sounds bad, it is. No one understood the pain I felt. And still do feel. Plus, I was bullied a lot.

That's one of the reasons why I cut. I had no friends and the things they called me...really got to me. Fat, ugly, stupid, loser, geek, slut, bitch, fucker, etc. etc.

Its the end of summer, and school is starting soon. Im going to a new school in Atlanta. Maybe this will be different. Maybe the kids will be nicer here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up on a humid Wednesday morning to the sound of my alarm clock, buzzing uncontrollably.

"Ugh."

I slapped my alarm clock about 10 times.

"Shut up," I whined. I just lay there, thinking. Today is the day.

The first day of school.

Everything could go perfect and there could be really nothing to worry about at all.

But then again, it could be the worst experience of my life.

After about 10 minutes of just staring up at the ceiling, I heard a voice coming from downstairs.

"Honey, time for school!"

I ignored it at first until I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep.

The footsteps made their way into my room, approach me, then go over to the back of the room.

"Come on, Bridget," my dad said, opening the blinds to my window.

Sun shined through. I groaned as I tried to get my eyes to focus on dad's blurry face.

"First day of school!" he said enthusiastically.

"Don't make me go..." I mumbled.

He knows about me getting bullied. But he doesn't know I cut.

I try to keep that away from my dad and brother. It's been working, for now. I think my brother is getting suspicious, but I doubt it. He's a dumb, annoying sixth grader.

Dad didn't hear me, or didn't care to listen. He just opened the blinds and left. He doesn't understand me.

No one does.

But dad, gosh, Marcus, doesn't even seem like a dad anymore.

Just like a zombie, I slowly made my way downstairs, stumbling and wobbling down the stairs.

"Hungry?" Dad asked while I sat down at the kitchen table.

"Mhm." I nodded.

Dad was making chocolate chip pancakes. The aroma of the chocolate made me hungry almost instantly. He makes those on rare but exciting occasions. I guess he was just trying to make me feel a lot less nervous.

He slapped 3 pancakes on a plate and handed me a glass of orange juice. I walked over to where I was sitting and resumed sitting.

I began eating.

"Thanks," I smiled with a mouthful of food.

Dad chuckled. "No problem."

"Dad! You can't make me go!!!" Xavier yelled in a whiny tone.

Oh God, here comes the devil child.

That's Xavier, my little brother. He's the biggest brat I know. Dad is making Xavier go to the same school I am. He is NOT happy about that.

Xavier stomped into the kitchen. "Dad it's not fair!"

"Xavier I understand you're not happy about it but you know what's been..." Dad stopped.

"It's fine dad, it's not like it's a secret," I told him, continuing to eat my pancakes.

"Jeez Bridget, why the hell do you gotta be so unlikable and have no God damn friends?!?"

I feel the tears coming.

_________________________

thank ya for reading!

Speak Up: (Chandler Riggs)Where stories live. Discover now