Speak Up: (Chandler Riggs)

Chapter 16

{Uh, hi.

I haven't really talked to you, lately. Poured my feelings out. Ya know, like I always do.

I don't know how I've been feeling lately. It's a mix of depression, anxiety, stress, anger, and self-consciousness.

My mind is a frightening place. A confusing place. A place that no one wants to be.

And definitely, a place that I certainly won't be letting anyone in, anytime soon.

I don't have much to say, I don't know what I'm feeling. It's all numb, that's all, I guess.

But I'm always scared.

Always.

It's all fear.

It's all darkness.

That's it, for now. It's not a lot. Like I said, I don't know what I'm feeling.

Well, bye...}

•••

*2 months after the accident*

"Kathleen, you asshole!!" I laughed as I chucked the stale piece of bread back at her.

"Bitch!" She yelled, smiling.

"Cat fight!!" Kian joked, slinging his arm over Kathleen's shoulder.

"Awwww!!" The group cooed in sync.

Kathleen rolled her eyes and told us to stop.

Kian planted a small kiss on her cheek.

"Even cuter," Armani smiled.

Kian and Kathleen had been going out for almost 3 weeks. Their relationship is adorable. And our 'group' has been a lot happier, you could say.

I haven't cut for over a month.

I am super proud of myself, and so are my new friends.

They even threw a little party for me, since they were so proud.

[Nana has been checking in, just like she said.]

I haven't made any physical contact with Chandler. I don't even look at him. That boy broke me, even more than I was.

I try not to think about it too much, but it's always at the back of my mind.

Speaking of the hospital, Xavier is still in a coma...

He hasn't even shown any sign of waking up. It's been 2 fucking months...

I visit him everyday after school. Dad doesn't, though. He went once after he was escorted out of the hospital.

He's tried to make little side conversations about stupid stuff, but I ignore him. What he did to Xavier is unforgivable.

"Bridget? You there?" Sam's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Uh, y-yeah, sorry. Just zoned out," I said, casually.

"Like always..." Miranda whispered.

"I will kick your throat," I told her, trying to keep a straight face, which failed. I ended up laughing my ass off, along with everyone else, probably sounding like a dying cow.

"B-bitch I will-I will c-cut you," Miranda choked out, which caused everyone to stop laughing.

I just stared at her.

"I am so sorry, Bridget, it just slipped," she apologized after realizing what she had said.

"It's okay," I mumbled.