Caring for Dakota Knox

12

Nine years later

Dakota Knox 

"Are you adapting well, so far?" I asked Nyla, my blue-haired new assistant, trying not to force the conversation. 

"Yes, Ms. Knox. Thank you so much for the opportunity" she said. I smiled at her excitement. I saw myself in her, a couple of years before. I had entered the company with the exact same position. 

"I forgot to tell you yesterday, but you mentioned you needed to schedule a meeting with the people of Nexus Software, right? Well, I contacted them and actually their Head of Business Development is available to come and meet you tomorrow morning" she explained "she seemed very welcoming and interested in working with us" 

I turned to look at her. I didn't even know my own agenda anymore.  I had been hiding beneath my desk with piles of work to do, galas to attend to. I was the Executive Director of one of the biggest baking representations, after all. I shot her a pleased look.

"That's great, Nyla. Good job" I said "book the Gray Room for tomorrow morning, call the catering, all that stuff you already know" 

She nodded, and wrote everything down as words escaped my mouth, seeming pretty intent on taking notes "Oh, and tell Harmony I'll be waiting for her in the lobby. It's girls night. I'm leaving now"

She nodded again, "Of course, Ms. Knox. I'll be heading to Mrs. Miles office right away" 

Harmony Miles. The core to all the life-twisting situations of those past years. First, what had happened to her in junior year send me to the college camp. Don't think about her, I told myself. Later, I met her again during college, and we became best friends, sisters almost. Finally, her husband (whom she had married before graduating) gave me the recommendation after applying to my first job, and that only could escalate. 

It was dark when I left work that evening, but even sweaty and exhausted, I had chosen to hang out with my friend and have a couple of drinks, since once again, there was no one to wait for me at home. I tried dating, I had a girlfriend for over four years, I asked her to marry me, but it didn't succeed. Not only content with being a 27 year old business woman dreading to settle down, I had chosen to buy a huge apartment in downtown San Francisco that remained unfurnished. Screw expectations- my life only got progressively harder.

Halfway through my Mai Tai, Harmony slid onto the seat next to mine. I didn't attempt to hide my surprise, I already had the impression she wouldn't show up. Those days she was only obsessed with getting home and work on a child. 

"If you are here only to talk about children, I'm gonna go" I said, faking disgust. 

"Ah, the cruel feeling of rejection" Harmony glared at me "I needed this as much as you do"

"Really?" I asked "then are we back to my first statement? Kids, bad idea" 

She bursted out laughing. She supposed it was a better alternative to her complaining about it or telling me I was too bitter, but it turned out to be quite comforting anyway. 

"You are saying that only because you haven't met anyone to have them with, yet" she said, grinning at me

"Probably I'll just be your kids favorite auntie, that's where I settle" I laughed as well.

We took our time to glance around the bar. It was packed to the rim. A lot of couples, a lot of groups of work colleagues. 

"I love how all the people in here pretend to be so satisfied by making conversation with each other" Harmony said

"Right?!" I replied, trying to differentiate them. First group, guys only- blond-blue eyed-tall stereotype, three million dollars in their bank accounts. Second group, the ones who never went out, squeaky voices-tired eyes-baby faces-lots of water bottles looks. Aside from the rest, it was safe to say that based on their looks they were used to play some kind of sport, or at very least worked out daily. I would have been nice to at least match them to a name.

"I give you a week" she said, out of the blue

"What?" I asked

"Ok, three days" she reassured, "in three days, or even less, you'll be calling your ex to get laid. Or start smoking again, whatever comes first"

"Moni, oh god" I said, faked-hurt "do I really look that desperate?"

She pointed at the table right across ours. Specifically, she was referring to a girl that sat on the corner. 

"You've been staring at that girl for about 15 minutes straight. Your hormones, honey, they speak" she laughed, and shook her head while I exchanged looks with her. Given my smile, she assumed it was friendly, and so she smiled as well.

I peered again at that table, and focused on the girl she had mentioned before, trying to convince myself otherwise. My curiosity played a bad trick on me. Why did she look so much like her? Was there really no other one like her? Why? Where did she come from? 

I never believed in fate, but in that moment, the sight of that stranger brought me back in time and away from my thoughts.

"Wanna come?" Harmony woke up from my trance

"What?" I asked, blinking several times and trying to attribute my lack of attention to those three or four drinks. it didn't take long for her to realize I had been thinking of her.  

"I said if you wanted to take this to my place, Scott will not mind" And not like he hadn't done it before 

"I'm good" Cue silence, awkward silence "I'm heading home, I'm super busy tomorrow"

"You call home a penthouse with only a bed in it?" she asked, cracking a smile. I perked up at the question.

"I've had called 'home' a dorm room with shared bathrooms- I think I'll live with this" 

We laughed ahead and left, leaving enough tip for all the waiters. 

A week. She gave me a week. To what? to give up? give up on what?

I was still mustering the courage to join the loner's club. To be fair, I did have the temptation to call my ex once. Or twice. There was another woman involved, so I decided to back down. Then there was this girl I had met at the gym, but the turn off was that she spent more time adjusting her leggings to her ass than actually exercising. And then, there was the girl in the bar, pushing the hair from her ponytail behind her ear. They had no future with me. 

You know what? I told myself - I think I want to stay on my own for a while

I give you a week - she'd said. Well, challenge accepted 

If adulthood had been accurate on something, it'd been this: being in your late 20's was hard. Awfully hard. The kind of hard that made you cry yourself to sleep over frustration because you couldn't finish a purchase report and felt like an idiot. In a way, those tears were like stamina, brought relief and then a massive headache for a while. How unfair.

By the time I reached my new apartment, my whole being was a mess. I fell asleep almost before wiping off my mascara. Exhaustion. Loneliness. Growth. 

I had at least six hours to rest and come back as the girlboss I had built myself to become.