I sat awkwardly on the plain white hotel bed. I got the feeling that no one really knew what to say. Dex waa fidgeting with something he found in the hotel room. Biana was studying herself in the bathroom mirror, brushing her hair with her fingers. Sophie stood there, clearly not knowing what to say or do. Grady stood by Sophie with an arm around her. He was glaring daggers at me. I didn't know what to say. No... more like I didn't know where to start, or how to start for that matter. I couldn't talk and it would be really weird if I wrote stuff down and showed it to them. So we sat.
Grady cleared his throat, "We should probably get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow. Keefe, Dex, Fitz and I can go to the room next door," he turned to Sophie, "and you ladies can stay here. All of you are taking showers because you stink!" He wrinkled his nose and fanned the air. We all nodded and walked to our designated rooms. I didn't know how I was going to survive the night with Grady. There was a 99 percent chance that he was going to murder me in my sleep.
I went last to take a shower. In the meantime, I thunk up plans on how to protect myself at night. Finally it was my turn. Now this might sound weird... but I was really excited to shower. That's something I haven't done for a while now. I probably took the longest shower ever taken by anyone on Earth.
But it was so refreshing.
As if my mind was cleared of all its doubts.
As if my whole body wasn't aching.
As if everything in the world wasn't going wrong.
As if I was happy.
Happiness.
Love.
Hope.
My body filled with positive emotions, lifting up my body like god lifting me to heaven. Like Sophie lifted me up everytime she smiled. No. No. I can't think about that. Not now. Not after everything I've done. I climbed out of the shower, smoothing my hair. Time to go to sleep. But... not yet. I had to do one more thing.
I slowly crept out of my room and knocked, as lightly as I could, on the room next door's door.
Sophie opened the door. "Keefe? What happened? Come in," she said. Her chestnut-brown eyes looked wide awake and especially beautiful in the moonlight seeping through the windows. She patted a spot on her bed and I took the invitation. Biana was sound asleep with a soft snore.
Sophie uncomfortably shifted, "So, what do you need? Is Grady bothering you? Here, let me go tell him to leave you alone."
I was about to shake my head, but something about the moment made me want to try a deeper, more dangerous approach. "No, it's not that," I said very quietly. Sophie's eyes widened, evidently surprised that I had talked. Fresh tears welled in her eyes.
"It's been so long since I've heard your voice," she choked out. I wiped a tear rolling down her cheek, my hand staying there. She didn't seem to mind.
I let down my wall of humor. Sophie was the only one I trusted enough to see my true self. She would understand.
"I've missed you guys so much, you know," I whispered. "And I know I've been dumb and stupid and--"
"You've been very dumb and very stupid. So dumb and stupid that there are no words to describe it. The amount of dumbness that you've shown is so unimaginable that it makes me wanna throw myself against a wall. No, actually it makes me want to throw you against a wall," Sophie interrupted.
"I know. And I deserve it. All of it. But... if I'm being honest? I don't regret it. I can live with the hate as long as I can't hurt you," I admitted quietly.
Sophie shook her head, more tears streaming down her beautiful face. "You know Keefe, you make it really hard to keep forgiving you. And I'm still not letting it go. But just know, that I will never hate you," she said, twining her fingers with mine.
And at that moment, I felt something that I hadn't felt in a long time.
I felt like I... belonged.
Like people actually cared about me.
Like I had a family of my own.
And the best part was that Sophie didn't hate me.
But that didn't make me anymore deserving of her. She deserved the best, something I definitely wasn't. And here comes the guilt.
"Thank you so much," I said, shoving the guilt out of my brain.
"For what?" Sophie asked.
I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "For so many things. But especially for not hating me." My eyes rimmed with red, my vision turning blurry. I quickly moved my hand to wipe my tears but hand gripped my wrist.
"Let it all out, Keefe. Let it all out," Sophie soothed.
I buried my head in Sophie's shoulder, my endless waterfall of tears soaking her shirt.
"My, my, how the roles have been reversed," Sophie joked, indicating all the times she cried on my shoulder. I simply squeezed her tighter, letting more tears roll down my face. Sophie put my head on her knees, softly cradling my head.
"Shh, it's going to be okay. It'll be alright," she assured, gently stroking my hair. All I did in response was moan.
"Shhh, it's going to be okay," she repeated, cradling my head again. "It's going to be okay."
I cried on her lap for who knows how long. Her pants were probably soaked. But she didn't say a word. She kept stroking my hair, cradling my head, soothing me despite all the problems she had going on in her own life. Sophie stroked my hair again and repeated, "Shh, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay."
And I fell asleep to the sound of her beautiful, beautiful voice.
A/N: 1012 words!!
