Tubbo SBI Adoption au

talk to me

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Tubbo POV

It's been about two days and i haven't left my room. Phil sends Tommy up to hand me my food and keep me company for a little while, I can't find it in me to eat half the stuff Tommy hands me though. I don't want to focus on anything other than my past, it hurts to remember but I need to do this, I want to know who my real family is and where they went. The more clues I can find the better. Of course this means a few sleepless nights but it will be worth it.

On the first night I managed to find a notebook inside my desk along with some pens, Phil probably put them there at one point or another. Ever since finding the book I've written down every thought that might be even slightly useful. I've never been the best at writing or reading so I drew some things and the few words that are there make sense to me and that's all that should matter in the end of it all.

It's almost 6:00 now which means Phil is handing Tommy my dinner to bring up, in which I will likely only eat half of. I sigh and go to my windowsill, staring out at the slowly setting sun and grasping my notebook tightly.

Moments later a light nock comes from my door and it slowly creaks open revealing a slightly paler looking Tommy. "Hey Tubbo!" he exclaimed as he entered and I turned my head to look at him. "Phil made Mac and cheese tonight! It's an easy dish but who doesn't like a good Mac and cheese am I right? Heh heh"

The past two nights ended up like this as well. Tommy comes in, hands me my food and makes a joke of some kind. He sits on my bed and tries to start a conversation and gives up after an hour. Though i have been noticing his skin getting paler, his eye bags indenting slightly more than the night before, his shirt hung ever so slightly looser. I had an idea of what was going on but didnt want to jump to conclusions. He can tell me if he feels ready to. "People who are lactose" I reply nonchalantly.

Tommy let out a laugh while I turned back to the window after being handed my food. I poked at the cheesy noodles with my fork for a few moments while Tommy threw himself onto my bed, all the air in his lungs leaving on impact. Stabbing a handful of noodles with my fork I blew on the hot food and shoved it into my mouth.

After a few minutes of sitting and eating while Tommy shuffled around on my bed, he finally broke the science. "Hey where did you get this from?" he questioned and my eyes whipped to him in alarm of whatever it was he found. I don't own a lot, but what I do is important to me.

Locking my vision in his hands I could see the round yellow object placed perfectly in his grasp. 'Bumble-' I felt my heart skip a beat seeing my comfort item in someone else's hands. Bumble is the one thing that has stayed consistent throughout my life, seeing him in Tommy's hands made me panic, everything else of mine was taken or destroyed somehow. I need bumble. "I-its my b-bee" i managed to stutter out.

"Nice, but where'd you get it though, it's cute."

Keepy my eyes locked on the plush I replied carefully in a soft voice. "I don't-t rember-r. C-can I have him b-back pl-please?" I didn't look at Tommy's face but I could feel his confusing eyes burn into my head. I just wanted my bee back.

I think he picked up on my discomfort judging on how he stood up and handed my bee to me carefully before sitting himself back down on my bed, only this this time without winding himself. I hugged Bumble tight to my chest, closing my eyes in the comforting presents, opening them soon after to put Bumble down beside me and look back to my food.

While eating I let my mind run without anything holding it back. If I could find any clues or any ideas of the whereabouts of my siblings by letting my thoughts run free then that is what I will do. I'm not even sure why I'm so obsessed with finding them.

Maybe it has to do with just actually knowing them? Gaining a piece from my broken childhood? Consoling myself with the fact that they could be dead and I would have no idea. That they could already be gone and i can barely remember their faces. THEY COULD HAVE DIED AND I WOULD LIVE HAVING NO MEMORY OF MY ONLY REAL FAMILY.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder making me jump. "Hey Tub's? You okay there?" Tommy spoke with concern laced in his voice. Only now I realized that there were tears rolling down my face and into my half-finished bowl of macaroni.

"Uhh, yeah, just got lost in thought." I replied, looking down.

"You want to talk about it?"

The question surprised me and I raised my head to meet eyes with Tommy. 'Yes, i would like to. I want to tell someone about this. I want to but i'm afraid. I don't want to be hurt again Tommy. I just want to find my family and have at least some idea of what my life could have been like.' "i-i'm okay. What about you? You've gotten pale."

He looked slightly alarmed but quickly contained himself. "Oh, um, i guess I haven't been getting much sun lately."

"Hm, good excuse." my hand immediately slapped against my mouth after i said that, that was supposed to be said in my head, NOT out loud. "I-im sorry, i didn't mean to say that, it just kinda slipped out and i-"

"Woah woah calm down, it's okay. You're tired from not sleeping. I get it."

I sighed, feeling my heavy eyes weigh on themselves, knowing he's right.

The room went back to science for a moment before Tommy took initiative and spoke once more. "How about we do a secret trade?"

"A secret trade?"

"Yeah! I'll tell you a secret about me that I want to get off my chest and then you tell me one!" The offer is tempting me, I want to know more about my new brother but at the same time I don't want to bother him with my problems. Suddenly his voice echoes from the bed, quietly as he sticks out a hand toward me. "Pssst, come on, come on, it'll be fun, come on, you gotta get it off your chest eventually, i'll go first, come onnnnn-"

I laughed at that, it was the first time i've laughed in a little while so i was surprised by it slightly. I took his hand and he pulled me onto my bed, then proceeded to sit criss cross on the other side of the bed. "Okay so you're kicking this whole thing off?" I was still slightly skeptical of this whole trade.

"Yeah, um. I guess i should just start or else we aren't going to get anywhere huh?" he said scratching the back of his neck. "Well, I figure it's safe to tell you since you've already got it. I um, I haven't been eating as much as I should be... don't tell the others by the way, this stays between you and me." a stern voice sounded near the end of his sentence.

"I wasn't planning on it." I swore to him, putting my right hand over my heart. "You should tell me the next time you don't feel like eating, maybe I can help out a bit."

"Yeah a sleep deprived guy who trapped himself in his room for days on end is going to help me." he rolled his eyes and I chuckled. "Alright your turn, go on, its gossip night."

I laughed once more at his comment then proceeded with my own secret. "Apparently i am part bee or wasp or something but i don't know how to activate any of my traits.'' I shrugged then looked Tommy in the eyes. His mouth layed wide open and you could see his eyes sparkle.

"BEE BOY!" he yelled, i jumped at the noise but brushed it off with a nervous laugh.

For the next two hours after that he tried to get me to "sprout wings or some shit! And I could barely keep my eyes open. The bed's surface was too comfortable and I haven't slept in two days. The temptation of sleep called to me as I tried to keep my eyes open by listening to Tommy ramble.

In the end it didn't work and Tommy's words slurred into a string of sounds I couldn't make out, my eyes grew too heavy to keep open and my head bobbed its way to my slumber. I recall trying to get out of a "goodnight" before falling into an unconscious state but it came quicker than I thought and soon I was asleep. 

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going to be honest here, not too proud of this chapter but here we are.

its more of a filler anyway it doesn't need to be good. 

any how- I have an essay thats due tomorrow thats worth 20% of my grade so I should get on that-

hope you all are doing well! be safe and take care <3