The Last of Us part III Ellie's Redemption

Self Hatred

When morning came it was Curtis who awoke first. Ellie lay asleep uncomfortably on the floor.
Curtis sighed. He went to the window, nothing was stirring.
Ellie coughed and Curtis turned as she awoke.
Ellie put her hand to her neck flinching.
"There's a bed right here Ellie, why didn't you sleep in it?" Curtis was slightly agitated.
Ellie shrugged, then rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
"Sorry I woke you, I didn't mean to." He said.
Ellie waved it off.
"Are you punishing yourself, don't you think you deserve a comfortable bed?"
"What is this, what are you saying?" Ellie asked confused, still trying to wake herself.
"Stop punishing yourself. I need food, what have we got before we hit the books?"
"Firstly I'll tend to Pisces and, have you thought of a name for Denzel's former, now your horse?"
"Reed."
"Okay, why?" Ellie asked.
"It's short for Reed-emption. Redemption."
Ellie understood his message, she nodded. "Fix up breakfast, I'll be back in a few. As soon as we have everything we need for the remainder of our journey we're riding hard. No more stops except eat, sleep, supplies..."
"And reminiscing." Curtis finished her sentence.
Ellie didn't reply, she left the room to tend to the horses returning five minutes later.
They drank and ate in silence before Ellie started to scan the Pegasus book.
"I want you to look through the Bengals and Black-horns book, find anything useful. To do with Clairmont or a cure or anything that jumps out and I'll do the same. I doubt there's anything of interest in the book of the group Caimans but I'll give it a look anyway." Ellie looked to Curtis who nodded taking the book from her.
The two sat on the floor in silence for a while, Ellie with pencil in hand taking notes and Curtis meticulously scanning each page.

"These Caimans have some strange customs." Ellie said.
"Don't they all?" Curtis replied.
"Listen to this, they would keep the caiman chained up as a form of guard dog after trapping them. Certain higher up soldiers would kill the older ones then wear their scales like armor." Ellie shook her head. "I know this isn't relevant because we're going nowhere near Ohio, but it doesn't hurt to learn a bit about them does it?"
"No, anything else interesting about them?" Curtis asked.
"Well, they practice voodoo, the 'doctors' wear the caiman bones including the animal's skull on their heads. All medicine involves the bones in a broth of different herbs and berries."
"Pretend doctors with pretend cures." Curtis said.
"But it's like Rich told me, they saw themselves as Vikings, Berzerkers it says here. Like most of these groups they're interest is taking over as much land as possible and killing anyone who gets in their way. That's original isn't it?" Ellie rolled her eyes.
"Leaving other in peace and trying to get along with each other, just way too much effort for these lowlifes."
Ellie nodded. "There's a bit more here, that Daniels had tried to form an alliance with them but things hadn't ended the way he wanted. The words 'one day they will pay' written by the 'Holy Man' himself. There's nothing more of real interest or relevancy, just a bunch of sketches showing how they looked." Ellie showed them to Curtis. "Enough of them, anything on our Bengals and Black-horns?"
"Yes, a bit, Black-horns first, listen to this. Illinois is a for hire state, bounty hunters, gun runners, you name it. Seems they'll politic themselves to anyone who needs their services for a hefty price. They don't tolerate so called usurpers on their turf, you're either one of them or you're against them, this only qualifies for other Illinois natives. They're militia and their only rule is they don't turn on their own, that results in death of them and their family." Curtis wasn't surprised by this at all.
"Great guys like the rest of them." Ellie shook her head in disgust.
"I can see why you despise them all. There's something about them giving their services to the Eagles for supplies suitable for the job plus an extra 50% on top."
"They probably had a good idea the Eagles would turn on them after their usefulness came to an end." Ellie explained. "Not stupid are they?"
"Smart and dangerous, not good." Curtis replied.
"Everything helps so we know what we're going up against Curtis, anything else?" Ellie asked.
"Not really, if you want safe passage through Illinois as an outsider that will cost, unless you join them."
"Joining won't be happening, I'd rather get through without having to deal with any of them. But do we fight through if that's not an option or prepare to do a deal?"
"Depends on what they want in return Ellie."
"It might be too late by then, we're not exactly in a huge bartering position."
"Avoiding them is definitely the preferred option but like you say only a Plan A isn't a smart option."
"We'll think about that. Okay what else do you know about the Bengals?"
Curtis poked through the book. "Ah, here we are, so what we've heard about them being a soft touch isn't quite true."
"Soft touch?" Ellie asked.
"Not quite what I meant, but you know what I mean."
"I do." Ellen said simply.
"Firstly not only is Natasha Horne their leader but she only appoints other women as her generals for each area. They'll kill on sight just like anyone but the etiquette with them is you raise your hands if you're non aggressive. You state your reason for being there, if the reasons are good enough they take you to see an elder for what's called a palaver and an arrangement is agreed to. If your reasons aren't to their liking they can send you on your way or kill you where you stand. Looks like we just have to give them a good enough reason." Curtis looked at Ellie.
"We have a good enough reason."
"Hmmm..." Curtis mumbled.
"What is it?" Ellie asked. "Anything important?"
Curtis kneeled beside her showing her what he'd found.
"Look at this bit here." He said.
Ellie read it. "Leader of the Bengals Natasha Horne is a close friend of Doctor Newman Clairmont. Despite this, if we can prove our worth to the Doctor we can sway his loyalties. Natasha Horne is naive and believes they can find the good in people, giving them every chance to prove themselves apart from the common murderous survivalist. Horne needs to die, then we must get our hands on Clairmont. The Bengals are a group who can be as dangerous as anyone but their 'second chance' mentality with outsiders will be their downfall." Ellie looked at Curtis.
"Do you think we're too late to try and get to Horne? I mean do you think Lopez and Roberts have got to her?" She asked.
"I say we try to get to her, if this second chance rule is in effect and we could stop a possible assassination of her she'd take us to Clairmont or help us on our way."
Ellie nodded. "We have to try."
"Anything in that?" Curtis pointed at the Pegasus book.
"A few notes, the Pegasus see themselves as white warriors too. A friend of mine from Jackson called Rich came across them with his mom on the way there. A Pegasus soldier had killed his dad. His family were originally from Ohio, in a community like Jackson until they were raided by another group, these assholes were of course the Caimans. Rich and his mom were born survivors, good people." Ellie looked away. "All he ever really told me about the Pegasus was they were a community based on science and biology. I'm guessing I wouldn't be their kind of person."
"You don't need to be, you just let them extract the cure from you then we go back to Jackson."
"I've been thinking about that, I don't believe they'd just let me go."
"Okay let's just forget it and turn around, what would a cure do now anyway? It probably won't make a difference at this point." Curtis was hoping he could convince her to forget the arduous journey that lay ahead.
"You don't know that." Ellie said.
"I know because I said so Ellie. That's all I need to know."
Ellie didn't want to upset him. "Curtis, if this Natasha Horne is the kind of person to give people a chance then I'm leaving you with her. Your second chance at a life. It's what you deserve. I'm not a fan of groups but if they are good people that's what I'm doing. If they don't let me go after Clairmont has done what he needs to do I don't care, but it's not fair on you."
"No, I'm coming with you Ellie!"
"Rich never had a bad word for them, he said they left him and his mother alone."
"It might have been dumb luck!!" Ellie had upset him, she had tried not to.
"Maybe, I would never just leave you unless I knew you were safe. You're not safe with me Curtis."
"I was going to come back to Jackson with you, but wouldn't you know it, all lies!"
"I'm not lying to you."
"Fuck you, I don't care, we agreed to go back to Jackson, I'd rather die with you then live lonely and alone." Curtis grabbed Ellie's arm. "I'm coming with you because you're all I've got!!"
"Curtis. Curtis! My arm!" Ellie had to yank his hand off, the grip was making her wrist numb. She held him by the shoulders. "Listen. Listen to me!!"
Curtis snapped out of his fit.
"I remember when I was traveling with Joel the first time, we didn't get along. I thought we had bonded when we first got to Jackson. Tommy was meant to take me to the Fireflies because Joel had washed his hands of me so I ran away. It took that for him to see not just how much I needed him but how much he needed me..."
"I need you!" Curtis whined.
"I understand, it seems like we're really in that situation now aren't we? You're me, I'm Joel." She sighed. "I do understand this feeling, when I left Jackson this was all about me and no one else. Don't think for one second I don't appreciate or enjoy your company Curtis, I do..."
"Don't you dare say 'but' Ellie. I'll kill myself right now if I have to, I won't be alone again." He pulled out his 9mm.
Ellie swiped it away from him immediately, slamming it on the floor.
Curtis tried to reach for it until Ellie grabbed him around the face.
"Curtis look at me, if I get to leave Clairmont I'll come back for you. Well go back to Jackson, you'll meet Tommy, Dina, Rich and everyone."
"Bullshit, you won't come back!"
"I swear okay, I swear!" Ellie meant it.
"Swear on Joel, Ellie, swear on him!"
Ellie turned away then returned the gaze. "I swear on Joel I'll come back for you."
"No, swear I'll come to Indiana with you and we'll leave together then return to Jackson together. Swear it on Joel!"
She didn't want to because she would be risking his safety, but she finally complied realizing the boy only felt truly safe with her. "You win. You win. I swear on Joel okay I will see us get back to Jackson safely too."
Curtis studied her eyes, seeing only truth looking back at her.
"You mean it, I know you do." He was calming down.
"I mean it, you convinced me. I'm glad you did okay, neither one of us deserves to be lonely." The boy was really helping her in more ways than one. "I'll protect you, I will."
Curtis hugged her tight, she let him although she didn't hug back.
"Okay? Do you feel better now? We are friends Curtis, I meant it when I said it, we will do this together. We will succeed together, just remember if something happens to me you ride for Jackson. You remember everything I tell you, no debate."
"You won't die Ellie I won't let you. That's the end of that discussion."
"Promise me if something happens you follow your map to Jackson. That's all I ask. Promise me Curtis." Ellie wasn't budging on this and Curtis knew it.
"In the almost impossible likeliness that something happens to you I'll go to Jackson."
"I'll take it." Ellie said, patiently waiting for him to let go of her. "It's time we saddle up and ride for Iowa." She added.
"When we get to Jackson you're going to teach me to play the guitar." Curtis sounded genuinely excited.
"Bit of a problem there in case you forgot." Ellie showed him her stubs for fingers.
"Maria told you to learn left handed so do it, then teach me. Joel gave you that gift, I want it passed down to me."
"Haha you're a total sap, don't get sentimental on me."
"I mean it Ellie. I want to learn that song you keep whistling to yourself."
"Whistle to myself?" Ellie asked.
"Yeah you don't even know you're doing it do you?"
"Oh I know, it's called 'Under a Mountain' by The Black Crowes, another song Joel taught me, I think you'd like it."
"I want you to teach me, I'd be honored to learn to play from you."
Ellie knew he meant it. "We have to make it to Jackson first. If we do I'll think about it. Is that alright with you?"
"Do you mean it Ellie?"
"Fine, it's a promise. I'm promising you a lot right now, so give me a break from now on. But seriously let's get to Clairmont, take care of business there and we'll go to Jackson. You're my reason to return. Now stop with all this emotional shit. We need to make ground."
"Let's do it." Curtis was ready before her. "Come on Ellie."
Ellie got her backpack in order. "Follow my lead."
"Yes ma'am." Curtis saluted.
Ellie rolled her eyes.
They rode for Iowa and for Horne.