Amazing first chapter! • BEST OPENING CHAPTER SCORE: 10/10 • WINNER! You were my first choice, hands down!
NOW INCLUDING THE FULL REVIEW AS PROMISED
I think we've established by now that you're a fantastic writer: great spelling, grammar and punctuation, with just a few too many commas where they shouldn't be.
Your story has wonderful flow, is engaging, and -- best of all -- is highly original. I've not seen anything like this before, and that's something that's harder and harder to find these days. I think you're doing a wonderful job at writing it, and I'm only sorry I couldn't do more with my editing!
But, like I said earlier, that in itself is a good thing -- it means you're doing well.
I'll definitely be coming back to read the rest of this, because I think it's going to turn out to be a wonderful story.
Congratulations again on your Iced TEA win, and I can't wait to find out what happens to these characters!
The continued review as promised for the win.
Review of The Arom Phat Curse:
** Cover, Summary and Tags: A black background shows a picture of a mummy alive. The book title and author name are present in font that is spooky and matches the entire look of the cover. A short summary is given which provides story details in brief with the introduction of characters and how the story is arranged. Great job! Tag includes story relevance.
*** Chapter Read and Length: 4 (In The Beginning & Chapters 1 to 3); 8 - 9 Minutes (Medium) *** Aesthetic Aspects: Music starts out some of the chapters.
*** Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation: Word Spacing (1) • Chapter 1: ...you're not a betting man."He glanced uncomfortably... Misused Word (1) • Chapter 3: damn vs. dam of water ***
Quality of Writing: Such great details that helps the reader picture the scenes clearly. Different fonts used to show a separate point in time and the background of the story. The research that the author has conducted is clear from the writing. Lovely imagery where an exhausted body quivers like a bow string; scraps of murmured conversation; darkness rousing the street's eerie shadows; wandering strand of hair and a shop cringing against the sagging side of a neighbouring shop. Wonderful!
Chapter 1 is blended in with prologue. The name of the character is given to show that character's point of view and move to the present. Dialogue etiquette and presentation rules are followed. Cut scenes are used to depict change of location, a time change or a point of view change. The locations and environments are depicted in detail allowing for the proper set up of the ambiance. Cliff hangers are used nicely that makes the reader want to turn the next page. The read is very easy and thus enjoyable. Continuity of the story is maintained from chapter to chapter. Connections are made between chapters to keep the writing flow seamless.
*** Opening Chapter Analysis: • I was so immersed in the story and the writing that even though was complicated, flowed seamlessly! That I forgot to even make notes. I love writing like that. • Amazing first chapter! • BEST OPENING CHAPTER SCORE: 10/10 • WINNER! You were my first choice, hands down! ***
Plot Development: Plot set up is very fast and occurs in the first chapter with all the background information. The plot direction is being revealed slowly. Creation of a lot of mystery and intrigue within the adventure story. Keeps the readers interest. Story has many facets and dimensions making for an enjoyable read. The plot thickens as the story progresses. Fabulous!
*** Character Development: Characters are introduced with action. Their personality traits and thoughts are shown to the reader along with their habits and actions. Providing character background and their thoughts help us understand the protagonist better. Beautiful descriptions of character's physical traits from another character in their thoughts. The dialogue banter between the character is hilarious and I love how the author refers to Canada as little Satan. As a Canadian, that is hilarious! ***
Overall Enjoyment: Even though adventure is not my genre of choice, this story held my interest. I was intrigued and entertained throughout! Great writing, interesting characters and an intriguing plot make for an enjoyable read!
Comments from Iced TEA Summer Bash judge
What an ending! Definitely was not expecting that lol It seems like you've done some research for this book. It reminds me of the The Mummy, and that seemed pretty authentic to me too haha Anyhow, you did awesome, I'm loving the descriptions. I'll be back tomorrow for chapters 2 and 3. : )
I like this. The plot is interesting, the writing flows really well - thumbs up!
Very good! Stone is a fun character. From what I've read, I honestly can't find much to nitpick. The grammar/punctuation needs tweaking in a few (minor) areas, but the story itself is fantastic. Have you considered featurement? Or are you already featured? If not, I would definitely consider it.
YOU ARE READING
Contest entries, reviews and awards
PoetrySome new contest entries, and assorted stories and poems I have entered in various contests over the years that have achieved a modicum of recognition. I trot them out for your consideration.
