Love // Winterfalcon

Going home!

Hiiii everyone, is it just me who is glad that Sam and Bucky are finally together and Bucky is gonna get out of hospital soon? Just me.. okay... there will be mention of self harm but none actually in it. enjoy!

Bucky's POV

I woke up quite drained and felt a bit stiff and wanted to get up and stretch my legs because I hadn't in a while. but couldn't as I felt something on my chest. I looked down and saw it was Sam asleep on my chest holding my hand. Then the memories of last night came back into my head and what had happened. Shit! Why do I have to freak out every time someone raises there voice? What the fuck is wrong with me. I needed the relief! Wait... Sam is here. I gently shook Sam awake I needed to speak to him.

"Mornin" he said yawning.

"Sam! Sam! I wanna do it again I need the relief! Please help!" I cried close to tears.

"Hey hey buck thanks for waking me, I'll help okay? Tell me what you feel like doing!" He soothed

"I- I need the relief in my arms, i need to cut something." I said getting more and more anxious by the second.

"Hey buck! Look at me you are doing great. What you are gonna do is you are gonna sit here while I get something out my bag from across the room that Nat brought me when you were asleep before okay. I thought something like this would happen so I brought it along! Just try and stay still and focus on me and what I'm doing take your mind off your arms! Okay" Sam instructed calmly, I just nodded.

Sam went into his bag and frappes a couple things to help. He passed me a colouring book and a list that said this.

1/2- I feel no need to cut right now.

3/4- I feel the need to cut a little but I can control it.

5/6- I need to cut a few times to help.

7/8- I need the relief now. I can barely take it.

9/10- I have to cute. I can't control it at all.

"What number?" He asked me

"Umm I feel like a 6 or a 7," I said back

"Okay..." said Sam picking up the colouring book and flicking through a few pages. "This one is for a stage 6" he pointed to some semi-intricate drawings on the page. When I looked confused he began to explain.

"Okay so when you need to cut, you should distract yourself by going for a walk or something productive that requires some thought. So with the colouring book depending on what number you're on the more intricate a drawing is. So if you wanted to colour for fun you can use the 1/2 pages. Which aren't very detailed. But on a bad day and your feeling a 9/10 there are ones at the back that are very detailed." This made me happy!

"So these can help me not wanna do it?"

"Yep!" He said "and then in time you won't need this at all because you will have gotten out of the habit of doing it like me!"

I hugged him tight and whispered "Thank you Sam!"

"No problem!" He whispered back. "Well what number you feeling now that our chat is over?"

"Umm probably about a 3?" I replied

"That's good! See even just talking about something can help!" When he said that I flicked the pages and found a 3 picture. It was of a swan with a crown on its head. There was some detailed bits but not many. I started colouring and Sam just sat there watching me.

When I had finished the colouring Sam asked me what number I was now.

"1!" I said happily knowing that it worked.

"Good!" Replied Sam with a smirk "cuz i wanted to do this!" He got up from his chair and I sat up knowing what he meant. He sat down on the bed in front of me and we began to make out. Nothing to steamy. Just old fashioned making out. After a couple minutes we took a second to breathe and in that time the doctor came in and told me that I could go within the next hour or so. This made me even more happy than before!

1 hr later

It was finally time for me to go home! Although I was worried about sleeping alone again. Last night I had a dreamless sleep and I think it was something to do with Sam being there but I have no idea?

"Umm Sam?" I said whilst getting my stuff ready to leave, "you know last night when we fell asleep together?" He nodded also getting ready to leave. "Well I was wondering, I had the best night sleep with no nightmares and I think it was because you were there?" I continued quietly. "So I was wondering if we could like do that, sleep in the same room or same bed because I hate those nightmares so much. We don't have to it's just a thought..."

I stood waiting for a answer while Sam had frozen.

"You mean like sleep in the same bed?"

"Well yea.. we don't have to tho it was just a thought!!" I said shakily

"Of course I would I had a great night sleep too. I normally am one of those people who wake up about 50 times each night but last night I didn't wake up once!"

I smiled and went over and hugged him, "thank you!" I whispered in his ear. "Now let's go shall we?"

"We shall!" He said laughing

We checked out and made sure to say thank you and goodbye to the doctor and left the hospital and got in the car that was still there from about a week and a half ago when Sam and Wanda had come to see me here. Wanda had gone back with the rest of them leaving the car here for Sam just in case.

And with that we left the dreaded hospital happy and together at last!

Okay don't worry that's not the end of the story I know it may seem like it because of how I ended it. I just couldn't think of any other way. There will still be more parts tho so stay tuned!