Werewolf Bites (bxb completed)

Chapter 33

"You did?" I was surprised. I had a million thoughts going through my mind. It didn't feel real.

Bayne kissed me. I told myself. He wanted to kiss me. Did he like me? I thought of fully confessing my feelings for him. Fortunately my brain went into thought overdrive and I couldn't process words out loud.

"I did."

"Why? How long have you wanted to do that?" I asked him. I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted him to tell me he liked me. I would not get that wish fulfilled.

"Erin, you're a nice guy. Real nice. You jumped in front of a bullet for me. That's why I did it."

"What? You kissed me because I got shot?" I said.

"I was appreciative, felt like I owed you something. I shouldn't have done it. Survivors guilt or something. Didn't mean to confuse you."

My heart thumped faster, but not in the good way like before. It felt broken, and he did it so casually. I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to even look at him.

"I should go." Is all I could push out.

"What?" He asked.

"I should go." I repeated louder. I didn't want to look at him. I kept my head down and returned inside of the lodge. I shut the door behind me.

I went to the small bedroom upstairs that they let Nadine sleep. She wasn't there. I laid on the bed and began to cry. I was overwhelmed with my feelings from everything. Not to mention the feelings for Bayne. I didn't want them. I wanted them to be ripped out and thrown away.

I didn't understand what I had liked about him. Yes, he was unrealistically handsome. There was no denying that. But so was every other guy here. When I kissed Romulus I didn't feel anything. With Bayne, it felt like a power surge.

He was kind, even if he wouldn't want to admit it. He was helping me change back to human. That wasn't on my father's orders, he didn't have to go through all the trouble to help me, but he did. This wasn't his first time helping someone like me, either. I knew he had blamed himself, but he shouldn't. When I had first met Bayne, he was a hothead with a bad attitude. Despite that, I could see the good in him. I hated that I still could. I hated that I still liked him.

I was grateful I managed to get alone before releasing my tears. I couldn't have feelings for Bayne anymore. I didn't want my heart toyed with, unintentional or not.

I decided I needed to avoid him, except when necessary. It wasn't for him, it was for me.

I missed my aunt and uncle. They hadn't called. I was hoping they would've by then. I wondered who my real family was. We had never had a fight like that.

On top of all of this, I was still a werewolf. I had strength I still wasn't fully capable of understanding. I wanted it gone. All of it. Bayne, the werewolf, all of it. I wanted my life to be normal again.

The only way to get that was to see Bayne, I reminded myself.

I stuffed my feelings down as deep as I could. I needed to pretend he was just an acquaintance.

I heard the door open. I aggressively wiped my tears and sat up.

"Erin?" It was Nadine. She set her bag down.

"What's wrong?" She approached me.

"Nothing. Why would anything be wrong?"

"Your eyes are red, and you're sniffling. Were you crying?" She sat on the bed next to me.

"No." I lied, letting out a loud sniffle.

"It's alright, Erin. It's okay to cry."

"You don't think I'm weak?" I said.

"No, of course not! Do not let the toxic masculinity win. It teaches let you think that crying makes you weak. You aren't weak. It's a normal, healthy way to let out your emotions. It's better than keeping them bottled up." She explained.

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

"Do you want to tell me what happened? Did something happen with Romulus?"

"No, nothing with him. We're just friends now. I think we're both pretty clear on that." I rubbed my eyes until they were dry.

"You can tell me." She said.

I debated not telling her. I didn't want to make things awkward with anyone else. Well, anymore than I already had. I wanted to let it out. Once I let it out, I wanted to push the remaining feelings away.

"It's Bayne. We kissed."

"What? You and Bayne?!"

"Yeah. We did. I thought it was a dream at first, but he admitted it was real. But he doesn't like me, not like that. He said it was because he felt guilty for me taking the bullet for him and he wanted to do something nice for me."

"I don't believe that for a second." She said.

"You don't?"

"Hell no. Bayne has a soft spot for you. I can tell. I think Romulus can too. I think he did have feelings for you, but got scared. Maybe he can't admit he has feelings for a man. Maybe he's just afraid to make himself vulnerable. But whatever it is, I don't believe he doesn't have any feelings for you."

"Either way, I can't have feelings for him anymore."

"I don't think that's how it works. We can't decide who we have feelings for. I know, I wish it's something that could be turned off too, but it's not."

"I have to try. Liking him when he doesn't like me, it's just like hurting myself."

"I just realized. This is your first heart break, isn't it?"

I thought about it for a moment. She was right. I had never had feelings like this for anyone. I wondered why I was so distressed about it. It was the first time I had ever had strong feelings for anyone.

"I guess you're right." I said.

"It gets easier. The first is always the worst. It still hurts after, but it gets better over time. We don't have to see him for a while at least. Not until the end of the month for the tracking spell." She said.

"Thank you." I said, sucking up one final sniffle.

"Enough about me, is there anyone here you have your eye on? There's a lot of beef cakes to choose from." I joked.

She smiled and let out a light laugh.

"No, not quite. Frat boy lookin' gym rat type isn't really my vibe." She said.

"No one? Not even Sirius?" I asked her.

"Nah. He's too cocky. Seems a bit immature. Maybe Timber is good up here, I'll try that."

"When was your first heartbreak?" I asked her.

"Oh, jeez. It feels like a lifetime ago. I dated a guy for a couple years in high school. He stood me up, only for me to find out he was making out with my best friend in his truck."

"That's terrible. I'm sorry. I don't know what I would've done."

"I cried. A lot. And screamed. A lot. I burned a few pictures of him, deleted his number, and moved on. Sometimes that's all you can do."

"I let out a tired sigh.

"I don't know why I care so much." I said.

"You can't help who you like. And it wasn't right for him to play with your feelings like that." Nadine stood up.

"I know. Let's go get some booze. We can forget about boys, at least for a little bit."