029. I'm Just Homesick

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Rosaleen came back earlier, about an hour afterwards.

But when I said, Welcome back, she mumbled something, not meeting my eyes, and brushed past me.

"What happened?" I'd asked Alvar.

He'd shrugged. "I don't know," he'd said, before turning to Seraph. "Want to go—"

But then Seraph had shook her head and said, "I think I'm gonna take a shower or something. Later, Alv."

That left just Alvar and Trix, who both went their separate ways.

Later, at dinner, Rosaleen doesn't show up, and I can't focus on my food.

It feels like she's almost missing, and I'm not used to it.

I don't hear from her after dinner, or after messing around with some chemistry things, or after fixing another weapon to send Vespera.

I lie on my bed, staring at my ceiling.

What happened at her mission?

I flip over, silently screaming my frustration into my pillow. I hope she's okay.

And then, as if called by an unimaginable force, there's a timid knock on the door.

I sit up. It's midnight, but I practically run to the door. A voice in my head tells me it's Rosaleen, it has to be Rosaleen, it better be Rosaleen.

And I open the door, and thank the heavens, it is.

She smiles at me, but it's sad.

What happened at her mission?

"Hey," I say. I let her in, closing the door behind us. "Do you need anything? Because I can—I can do my best to help. If you'd like me to."

Rosaleen blows out a long breath. "No," she says, "but thank you. I think I'm just homesick."

Oh. I smile, bittersweet. I haven't been able to think about my family that much; either that, or I've just been avoiding it. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

She hugs herself. "I don't know. I think... I think you being here will be... good."

What happened at her mission?

"Do you wanna sit?" I ask softly. "There's an armchair over there."

Rosaleen silently nods, and I lead her to the armchair. She sinks into it, and in this moment, she looks so small.

"Do you want me to..." I trail off.

"You can just... talk to me. Please." A sad smile tugs on her lips again. "That'll be enough."

I take a deep breath. "Okay—um..." I think for a moment. "Oh—once, the triplets and I were playing Base Quest indoors."

I sneak a peek at her eyes, to see if she's listening, and she is. "We've done this before," I continue, "so I didn't think anything would break. But we accidentally made a vase fall, and..."

I chuckle to myself, remembering the way it shattered against the floor, and the way the four of us had fallen dead silent. Rex and Lex's eyes had gone wide, and Bex looked like she was gonna bolt.

"And?" Rosaleen says, quietly. Her voice is curious, yet distant at the same time.

I smile. "And then, we all panicked. Our parents didn't hear for some reason, but it was kinda funny, honestly. The triplets were running to get tape." I shake my head. "But I told Lex to go get paper towels, since the floor was wet, and I told Bex to throw out the flowers that had fallen out."

Her eyebrows rise, with a tiny, tiny bit of a smile on her lips.

"Rex and I went to get the vacuum cleaner, and we were sucking up the glass bits and stuff, you know? And then—" I laugh. "And then, our mom was like, 'Is everything okay? It got quiet,' and we hear our dad say, 'Do you hear a vacuum?' Rex panicked and yelled, 'We're being productive! Leave us alone!'"

Rosaleen rests her chin on her knees, which are pressed to her chest. "Your siblings sound nice," she murmurs.

I exhale. "They are," I say. "Anyway... we could hear our parents laugh at that. A confused laugh, but still. We finished cleaning the floor, emptied the vacuum cleaner, and threw out the trash." I find myself smirking. "They never found out."

She presses her lips together, as if she's suppressing a smile. "Another one," she says. "Please."

I nod, and tell her about the time their was a thunderstorm, and how the triplets had crawled into my bed, scared from the lightning. The four of us had stayed awake for hours, whispering in the dark.

I tell her about how they used to love grabbing my fingers when they were babies, and how Lex used to loved dog toys more than baby toys.

I tell her about when Bex came knocking onto my door, with news of her first crush.

I tell her so many stories about my childhood, as the moon gets higher and higher. At some point, after hours, I think, she falls asleep.

I'm rambling about teaching Rex chemistry when I hear a soft snore. I pause and focus on her.

She's sleeping. And she looks so relaxed.

I feel myself soften. I get up and walk over, gently scooping her into my arms, bridal-style, from the armchair.

She subconsciously leans into my chest, and I wonder if she can hear my heartbeat, even in her sleep.

I carry her to my bed, laying her down as softly as possible. I take the blankets and drape them over her, tucking her in. "I'll be right over there," I whisper, even though she can't hear me. "If you need me, I'll be here."

The only answer I get is another faint snore.

I smile quietly to myself, sitting in the armchair. I hope she'll be okay.

And slowly, slowly, my eyelids get heavier and heavier.

And then, I'm asleep.


˚ 🌷 ── author's note!

wow! angsty fluff!! who would've thought!!! definitely not my favorite kind of angst/fluff!!!! no not at all!!!!!

haha ok but ty for reading! :)) i appreciate u tons <33

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