OVERLOOKED ㅤkotlc

066

RUY IGNIS

I don't punch anything.

I sit on my bed, and I calmly retell the story to Melia and Alvar as everything inside me screams and cries and bangs on my ribcage until all I can hear is the thud thud thud of my heart.

They're too hurt to see the boy inside of me, throwing a temper tantrum and talking wildly to himself

until he can hardly breathe

until his throat hurts

until he curls up into a ball and doesn't move.

I abandon the little boy to focus on the voices breaking through their lips.

"They need to leave," Alvar's saying, and the little boy shakes his head in protest.

"They?" I ask.

"Dex and Rosaleen," he replies. His voice is angry, but I think he's angry at the mess Dex has made and I am too, because now we are all split and torn in his game.

I look at Melia. She's across from me now, but I wish she were next to me. "Melia?" I say.

She's thoughtful. She bites her lip and her hands strangle each other, and she's as torn as all of us. "I don't know," Melia says softly. "I want them to be safe, but if we don't do anything, everyone else will be in danger."

Alvar curses. "What was he thinking!" he says. "Joining us, betraying us—why'd he even tell you this? What was he expecting?"

I don't tell them about the promise I made to him, that he'd be safe, and I don't tell them that I think maybe he wanted us to be safe, too, but with the opposite side.

I tell them I don't know.

He curses again, and Melia finally joins me on the couch, where she holds my hand. "Are you okay?" she says, and the question captures Alv's attention. He looks to me in worry, too, his eyes echoing her question.

"I don't think any of us are," I say, thinking back to Dex's panic attack. "He didn't seem to be."

"Damn it, Ruy, she was asking about you."

The little boy wails something hurts. That's your feelings, I think ruefully to it. Your feelings are hurt.

Out loud, I say, "I don't know. I don't think so."

Alvar lets out a breath. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, this sucks."

Melia's fingers tap against my hand. "Do you think Rosaleen knew he was gonna tell?"

I shake my head. "No, he only said it because he was panicking."

He seemed so scared and vulnerable. What was going through his head when he told me? Where'd he go afterwards? Is he okay? I should check up on h—

The little boy bangs on his jar louder. Did you forget? he says angrily, and it hurts.

"What should we do?" I say instead.

"They know the battle plan," Melia says. "If we release them, we can't fix that."

"And they have to leave," Alv says. Another voice that's too loud too loud too loud. "Everyone's in more danger if they stay, and they'll be in danger if we ever tell Gisela. What the hell were they thinking?"

Melia says, "So we have to make them leave, but we lose the element of surprise. We could make changes, but they'll be prepared regardless."

The little boy starts crying, because it feels like his insides are being twisted and torn, because how's he supposed to choose between his loyalty and his friend?

Alvar focuses on me next, and I silence the little boy so I can hear. "What do you think?" he says.

I feel Melia squeeze my hand. "I don't know," I say, my voice small, and again, Alv looks worried. "I think it's okay if we lose the element of surprise. We've always had the upper hand, and maybe it's time to even the playing field?"

"So... not playing dirty." His eyes soften, even though he looks frustrated. "God, that boy is really destroying everything, isn't he?"

Melia laughs softly and sadly at that. The little boy clings to her. "When we win," she says, "we can live peacefully. And we'll find the best solution for both sides, I think that sounds alright."

There's an unsaid agreement that the price of playing fair is this battle being the last.

Maybe I'm okay with that. The little boy wipes his tears.

"And we'll all live," I say. I know I'm being idealistic, and I know I'm talking about Dex too, and I think that's okay because maybe we'll all live happily ever after this?

Maybe, I think and the little boy crosses his fingers.

"And we'll all live," Alvar says, with a small grin. "Come on, Ruy, smile more. I'll see you on the other side of the war!"

I listen to my best friend and smile. "I'll see you on the other side of the war."

˚ ༘ 🌷 ── author's note!

11K READS ?? THATS KINDA CRAZY ?? TYSM !!! <3