Mary-Anne
Hey guys. Gosh, so much has happened. I got in to a fight with Marty, but he apologized because Mary-Anne doesn't apologize for what she thinks is right. Also, I feel like I'm breaking and so is my family. I don't feel motivated to do anything, I don't even care anymore. My grades can go down as much as they want, I just don't care anymore. I don't even know how I'm still writing this book. I just feel like no one cares about me, and I care a lot. I hate that I care too much, I should stop caring about everything. Why can't I just be like everyone else? Why do I have to be born Muslim, and from immigrants? Why? Why can't I just live the American lifestyle with my parents being born here, and being from here instead of immigrating? Why can't my parents be white and be like all white families (not to be racist, sorry if I offended you). My parents have been yelling at me about why I don't talk to them as much as I used to and how I used to be such a "great girl" in the past. But whenever I talk to them now, they yell at me for something new. I feel like an outsider, the one who doesn't fit in the family. My family would be better without me. I don't even know where I belong. It feels like my parents are ashamed of me because I'm dumb and can't do anything right. And I've been super stressed since last month, and to fill in that stress, I eat. It's like I'm eating the stress off, but it never does come off. I noticed I gained a lot of weight since last year and it kills me. I just don't know anymore! My parents are ashamed of me, and so am I! I don't even know how I have friends and how anyone even likes me. PARCC testing is also coming up, and I'm scared because we saw some sample questions, and I know I'll fail one way or another because of my stupidity. I try not to show emotions, but I am breaking down and that puzzle that was complete inside me, is now broken and the pieces are all over the place. And I may have never told you this, but my parents fight A LOT ever since I was born and I always thought they would get a divorce. Apparently not, since all they care about is culture and religion and shit. Ahh, sorry for this chapter being all over the place, I am breaking down and don't even know who I am anymore.
Talk soon,
-Mary-Anne
YOU ARE READING
The Seventh Grade Journal
RastgeleMary-Anne and Annie are best friends who are redistricting to a different middle school, leaving their friends from their old middle school and memories. They enter seventh grade and this documents their year starting from the FIRST DAY TO THE LAST ...
