letting go

smells

''please explain to me why you are buying a dress'' i say picking up my sisters clothes as she throws them over the changing room door.

''because harry asked me to go to homecoming with him,not only am i being asked by a senior but harry freaking styles....that's the only thing that's getting me into a dress''.

when she walks out the changing room i try to keep from my jaw dropping.its weird seeing her in a dress.not only does she look amazing but i know for sure that not everyone could wear it as good as she can.i look up at her and she stares at me waiting.

''you look OK......or whatever'' i say smiling.

she squeals and hugs me.i don't know whats gotten into her and i don't know if i should run away or laugh with her.she looks at herself in the mirror and her smile fades.

''don't you think its too basic for a homecoming i mean looking at it now it looks like I'm wearing a curtain'' she says fidgeting with the dress.

''no no you little cunt--you look great and I'm not just saying that,now hurry up and go buy this shit so i can leave'' i say.

she starts smiling again and punches me in the arm.

''inspirational pep talks from the greatest sister in the whole world,thanks'' she says and walks into the changing room.

''so he didn't ask you to the dance '' Chris says as we walk into our apartment .

''who ? '' i say thinking about the big fight me and zayn had last week and how i was once again single.

''who else,Tyler obviously'' she says as if it was clear.

''no and me and him haven't talked allot since he started hanging out with the dark and mysterious kids in our school'' i say.

''that sucks but you guys have the same classes right you guys talk'' she says adding on.

''well he asked me for a pen that one time we had detention'' i say.

''well that's something like that scene from mean girls'' Chris says and i laugh.

''why are you so eager for me to be with him i thought you didn't want me with Tyler'' i say recalling her giving me a speech on why Tyler is a horrible human being.

''i do its just....I'm worried about you ,you haven't been with anyone but zayn and you guys are obviously falling apart and i don't want it to get as bad you know like the last time''she says as we sit on the couch.

i hate when Chris does this.not because i don't like thinking of what happened i just hate thinking about how much it hurt her.i saw her cry for the first time ever during those days and chris doesnt get emotional.

i look over to her and i can see shes analyzing my facial expressions.

''i hate when you do that its weird'' Chris says turning on the tv.

''what'' i asked confused as she surfs through the channels.

''you do this thing where you look like your feeling about every emotion known to man and then it just stops and your face just stays blank,the worst thing about it is that it shows in your eyes too and you know i hate when you do that thing with your eyes'' she says and i take the remote from her and put on a movie.

when i got mad my pupils would start shaking and dilating and it stops when I'm finally calm.my dad would call me little wolf eyes anytime i would cry and hold me in his arms until i was calm again.god how i missed him.

''have you talked to mom yet'' i say and Chris just looks at me and back to the tv.

i take this as her telling me it was too soon to start talking about what happened earlier in the summer.i hope we could make the best of what happened there is enough going on for family drama to go on.

------

''we are going out'' Tyler says walking into my room.

''going out where'' i say sitting up on my bed wondering how he got in.

''well I'm gonna go get a new tattoo and i don't like going alone'' Tyler says smiling.

''well i guess i can go give me a second i need to get dressed and-'' i stop as Tyler pulls my hand and drags me out the room.

''you look perfectly fine as long as i cant smell you its all good''he says and i laugh.

i don't know whats wrong with him hes smiling and laughing and I'm scared and confused but ill go along with it.when i walk past the living room i see Chris raising her eyebrow at me and i shrug and continue out the house.

when i sit in his car I'm immediately revolted.

''your car smells like sex and every girls perfume that's been in here'' i say rolling down the window.

''damn you weren't even in the car for a minute yet'' he says starting the car.

''this is how girls work they need good sense of smell to catch their man'' i say .

''what do i smell like ?'' he asks keeping his eyes on the road.

''you smell like cigarettes,vodka and steph'' i say scrunching up my nose.

''damn'' he says chuckling and pulling up to an old shabby shop with a flashing sign that reads tattoos.

''this doesn't look safe'' i say.

''of course it doesnt'' he says getting out the car and i follow behind him.

''so why would you come here if it wasn't safe'' i say holding onto his arm.

''well my little angel,life is either dangerous adventures or nothing at all''