letting go

I fancy you

When I wake up it's still dark outside and I smell the faint smell of smoke . Harry must've forgotten to put the fire out. I silently get out the tent and zip the fabric door up and walk towards the fire. I was right about the fire still being there but the scent of smoke from Tyler's cigarette.

''What are you doing up?'' i say sitting on the ground on opposite side of the log near the fire.

He looks down at me and doesn't say anything before taking a long drag from his cigarette.''couldn't sleep'' he said slurring his words to show he was drunk.

''So smoking is going to lull you to sleep?'' i say sarcastically.

He scoffs and stands up to leave except he doesn't go to his tent . I want to know where he is going but i don't want to seem annoying so I sit there with hands folded staring into the fire . He comes back and extends his arm out to me . I look at it and place my hand in his as he helps me up . His hands are cold and goosebumps rise on my skin immediately but it feels strangely comforting . He leads me thought the trees I would ask where we are going but I love quiet and I'm afraid he will lash out at me. We get to another clearing smaller then where we are camping and he sits down. I do the same as he lays back and looks at the stars. I look up to sky full of stars . We aren't that far from society but far enough that the light pollution doesn't effect the stars in the area.

''Most girls would've asked how many girls have a taken here by no I'm surprised'' he said slurring his words and leaning dangerously close to me.

''I'm not most girls'' i say sliding away from him.

''That you are not Erika'' he say putting more emphasis in Erika.

''Don't call me that '' i said standing up fuming at his use of my old name.

''What Erika? You don't like that name do you that's why you changed it to Eric. I wonder why you changed it to Eric with a 'c' though why did you do that? It would be good to know I once had a whore named Erika the ones with a 'k' are so fun to mess around with . I'm starting to suspect that Erika was your name before your parents died. How did they die again ?''

I start walking away from him he's drunk he doesn't know what he's saying. He's just putting a string of words together he doesn't know what hes saying. I get to where we are camping and he is right on my heels. I turn to smack him only to be pushed into a tree by Tyler.

''Funny because I would've sworn you told me they died in a car crash , I can't find any documents leading to any car crashes in your family, hell I can't find any deaths in the last decade really'' I can smell the stench of alcohol on his breath and I try to push away but he is surprisingly strong..

''What the fuck are you giving me a background check for? If you really wanted to know you could have asked me you cunt nugget''.

''Then tell me what really happened. I don't like when people lie to me''

''I was abused. Are you happy i ran away and was put into the system and they did die in a car crash''.

His eyes softened and he walked back to the fire. I sat on the other side oh him.

''Do you cry?'' he says observing me carefully.what kind of question is that.

''Yeah i cry. I am human, everyone cries''

''No i don't mean cry out of sympathy for others as I see you doing a lot, I mean cry because your really truly hurt you know''.

I had to really think about that. He is right I do cry out of sympathy for others and after a touching speech or after the note book.

''No,I guess,if I cry it means they won right and they didn't and plus if I were to cry around Chris she would probably beat me up'' i say trying to lighten the mood.

''So you didn't cry after the whole Zayn thing?'' i shook my head.

''I actually feel sorry for him you know''

''You have got to be kidding me! Sorry ! He cheated on you and you're sorry for him'' he said keeping his voice a hushed scream so we wouldn't wake anyone up.

I shrug. I am, things like this happen when people think they aren't good enough or they need to feel loved from people outside there circle.

''I'm starting to think you want me to be angry and sobbing'' i say chuckling.

he smiles ''You continue to surprise me'' he said and his blue eyes glow in the light of the fire.

------

We stayed out there all night doing nothing but talking. I learned a few things about him like how he majors in drama and does art on the side much like me. The last thing you would think about is this tatted dark haired boy playing Shakespeare. When the rest of the group came out to see us talking and laughing they all paused.

''Did you drug her?'' ''Did you drug him?'' harry and Chris say at the same time.

''No, but which two of us is going to get the clothes'' I say remembering that this was last second and no one packed.

''you can do that. I'm tired'' Chris says yawning and then harry turns to her smiling,and she returns a smile even brighter.

'' I knew you would say that'' i respond.

''I'll go with you'' Louis says. Harry looks over to him with concern clear on his face. Louis nods back to him and smiles. Those guys have some secret code and its so annoying. I wonder if that's how they feel when me and Chris do that.

We walk to the car and Louis open the door for me. ''What a gentleman you are'' I say and he blushes.

We sit in the car and Louis knuckles have gone white from clinging on to the steering wheel so tight.

''Bestfriend i don't think the wheel is going anywhere'' he looks over and blushes again.

We get in front of the house and I turn to leave but the doors get locked. I looked over to Louis ,raising my eyebrow, ''Louis ? ''

'' I need to tell you something'' he says looking nervous. I shook my head signaling for him to start talking.

''Okay so we've been friends for a while now and it's been really great you know and I got to know you a lot over these two years. I fancy you Eric and I want you to know that but, will you go out with me?'' I gasp. It seems extra but it just happened.

''Louis I love you as a friend and i do fancy you too but, its nothing more and I'm sorry but i don't think i can'' he looks hurt but it soon turns into determination.

''You cant stop me from trying'' he said with the goofiest grin ever.

''I can't and I won't' .

I thought that everything was going to be awkward after this but its surprisingly normal. I go get what I need to and some of Chris stuff. she texts me several times to bring her camera and phone charger. my mind wanders to Tyler how would he feel about Louis asking me out. I shook my head I must be tired I think about crazy shit when I'm tired. I walk out to see Louis waiting for me at the door.

''Shall we go mademoiselle?''.

''Did you just curse me out in french?'' i say and he shakes his head and we get back in the car.