letting go

you're getting a what

me and Chris walk into my moms house for this big news that my mother needs to talk about. when i walk in my father is sitting on the couch. i just realize how much I've missed him. seeing him after school everyday seeing him to me in every night and i start crying. Chris rolls her eyes and my dad jumps off the couch to hug me.

''oh my baby girl I've missed you so much'' he says as i look into his beautiful blue eyes.

''i missed you so much dad '' i say burying my face into his shoulder.

he pats my back and pulls me back at arms length to look at me.

''your mom was right why'd you cut your beautiful hair that's stupid'' he says.

''ugh i just cut it it'll grow back in a few months'' i say.

''well at least we agree on something'' my mom says walking into the room.

it feels weird. the atmosphere changes and i don't know why. my mom didn't sound the same she seemed...off.

''will everyone get into the dining room'' my mom says and i raise my eyebrow.

''whats with all the proper talk what happened to if you don't eat you'll die hurry up'' Chris says laughing.

my mom gives her the best shut up I'm your mother look and walks ahead. we all sit at the table and the tension is obvious in the room. although the source of it isn't so clear. i look up to my mom and she looks back down t her plate playing with her food,things she told us never to do. i look over to my father and he coughs into his hand and he stares at my mother. then finally someone speaks.

''do you prefer the band-aid peeled of slow or fast'' my father says looking between me and Chris.

''fast'' we both say.

''no don't-'' my mom says shortly after.

''we're getting a divorce'' my father first.

have you ever looked someone straight in there face while they're talking and have no idea what they just said. i put my fork down and my mother looks at me eyebrows raised. my parents are getting a divorce.

''i don't get it you guys don't love each other'' Chris says giving my dad a harsh look.

''we do its just that-''my mom says.

''of course we love each other don't be ridiculous'' my father says.

''she's not being ridiculous people divorce when they don't love each other anymore '' i say back to my father.

''stop being childish we expected children of your age would understand better'' my mother says finally saying what she wants.

''understand what that our parents don't love each other anymore'' Chris says and she looks so close to going hysterical.

''we do love each-'' my father starts to say.

''did he hit you '' i say turning to my mom. That's how it started before,with my real parents.

''no he didn't hit me'' my mother says.

my father bangs his hands on the table and speaks in a commanding voice that only my father can master without scaring the crap out of us.he saw the look on my face and calmed down a little.

''everyone just calm down lets just talk''. he says pulling his hair back with his hand like he does so much when he frustrated.

''me and your father are getting a divorce,not because we don't love each other and not because he -hit me'' she says shaking her head.

''we are getting a divorce because we do love each other and we know whats best for us and you'' my father says.

''bull shit'' Chris says getting up from her chair.

''that is enough go to your room'' my mom screams.

''are you serious '' i say scoffing .

''you too just go to your rooms'' she says shaking.

''fuck this im out of here'' Chris says storming out the house and with one last look at my father i go after her.

we walk all the way to the summer house,Chris to pissed too call someone and I was too tierd to care.when we get there its late and everyone has fallen asleep.i go to sit on my bed and think of what just happened.the thoughts that come with the night slowly surround me.what if we were younger what if they just gave us back up for adoption.what if i had to run like the first time from these problems.